Andrea

Funny that many mentioned gloves and Purell.... Yesterday my parents met me for my hair and make up test run. My mall-phobic dad actually stayed the entire time, amazing what cancer can do to a spouse Well my mom touched the counter when she put her glass of water down and next thing I know I hear my dad going "wash your hands wash your hands" and she wips out the sanatizer. I was like wow, and I thought I was bad! I had to leave right away after hair and makeup test to get the enagement pictures (part of package, never done, had to do or lose money). Well my parents trotted down to Nordstroms and sure enough, my mom got black silk gloves!! :) Thanks so much for all the input. I really appreciate it. I now need to find the strength in myself to not cry that much My mom does not want it to be about cancer. I wanted to get the lung cancer ribbon pins for 50cents each and hand them out with the flyer--i figure it would be money well spent for charity, but she did not want it, she said it would be overkill on the cancer. I guess she is right. I will do it for another occasion

hanks for the input! Some of my friends thought it was a wacky idea, others a great idea. My mom knows and approved. At first she was not thrilled with the idea, but then when I said to her well everyone is going to want to touch you b/c it is human nature to shake hands with those you meet or hug those you see again, especially someone with cancer, and that she would have to explain to each and everyone why it is best for her not to touch, she liked the idea. I had shortened it and took out the "if you have a cold or infection" stay away, but my bridesmaid made me put that back in b/c she said that is the most important, this way people will know to stay away. Another alternative is for my mom not to be in the receiving line, but she didn't like that. She wants to be "normal" that day. Another important thing was for her to be under the "chuppah", it is what you see in the picture I have posted. At Jewish weddings, the parents stand under the "chuppah" with the bride and groom, it is supposed to bring good luck and symbolize family. If my mom is too weak to stand, which so far she is not, the rabbi said I can have a chair for her under the chuppah Thanks!

Hi everyone, Well I am getting ready for the "big" wedding on the 22nd, a total 184 guests. Only 66 are ours though, the rest are his family and his parent's friends Woo hoo, how exciting. Well not really Kind of hard to get excited about the wedding, but we already discussed those issues with the shower I learned from that experience that if I appear happy, my mom is happy, so that is what I will do! I already had wedding programs done pre-cancer. They are popular in California, we never heard of them from NY, so some of you might think wedding programs are as odd as my parents and I thought they were. I am thinking of having the following printed and inserted into the program b/c I don't want my mom to be put on the spot with having to back away from people; I dont want her having to explain to everyone why she should not touch; and I don't want guests to get insulted that she cannot touch. Do you think it is ok to include the following? I know it might be tacky, but then again, could I live with myself if I didn't do it and people did not take caution and cause an i nfection? Here is what I want the enclosure to say: ======= Dear Family and Friends, As you may know, Marsha Weiss, the Mother of the Bride, is bravely undergoing treatment for her battle with lung cancer. Please understand that as hard as it will be for her to resist, the Mother of the Bride is under strict orders from her doctor not to shake hands, kiss, or hug anyone because of a weakened immune system. The Bride and Groom also kindly request that if you are fighting a cold or infection, please remain at a distance from the Bride's dear mother. The Bride and Groom will gladly pass on all well wishes. The Weiss and Scheff Families appreciate all of your prayers and thoughts.

Cheryl, Yes, this is the pot calling the kettle black b/c I am a known neurotic worry wart. But what I want to say is don't panic yet because you really have no news, right? The surgeon just read the report, did he see the scan like the oncologist did? Also from what I have read and been told, lymph nodes can look enlarged just b/c the area is inflamed. And weren't you told the xray looked better? I know you cannot relax, I know this SUCKS (excuse my language). But I also know that you are a fighter, you are doing remarkably well. Hang tight, keep fighting and please write after the oncologist appt!! And yes, I do feel hypocritical saying not to worry I feel for you and am praying. Love, Andrea

Fay, Very inspring and well said!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT! Thank you for making me want to fight even harder for my mom! Love, Andrea

Angie, My advice is go for a second opinion! Cancer is a beast and sometimes there is nothing we can do but pray. However, never give up hope and I strongly suggest going to see another dr for input. It cannot hurt.

Well all in all I think it was a positive trip. You enjoyed time together and while you didn't spend two hours with the dr, you accomplished what you set out for, a new treatment option Good thoughts going your way!

Laurie, Happy Anniversary! There is an angel watching over you Tell your mom I said happy anniversary!

Hi. I am not sure how effective this is, but I wanted to share the link to the product. When I told my father in law that the oncologist does not want my mom shaking hands with people, hugging or kissing at my shower and wedding and all of those events, he bought my mom this portable air purifier to wear around her neck for the shower earlier today and anytime she is out in public. It seems neat to help limit germs:) http://www.purennatural.com/prod_desc.php?prod_id=427

Thanks for all the messages. I really took to heart what was said to me and I realized how important it was for me to be happy today for my mom. Mission accomplished! My mom said this was her best day since diagnosis, she truly felt good, she was standing a lot (I kept telling her to sit) and it just was soooo nice, almost normal feeling. My mom LOOKS physically healthy. She is glowing, chubby, has beautiful short blonde hair. Yes, 50% of her hair is gone, but most people would not realize it b/c her hair is still fuller than many others in general and she got a short haircut. As a matter of fact, I was asked if it was a wig. Well I think we instilled fear in people because they looked at my mom and said "no, she cannot have lung cancer". I said "oh yes, advanced late stage as a matter of fact, Stage III and she just finished her fourth round of chemo on Thurs." I think it really scared people to see how healthy she looked, yet is so sick. You know this just came to my head--it could be an interesting campaign for awareness. Pictures of how good people look at diagnosis and in beginning treatment and how dramatically it could change. It is like we walk around the mall, see healthy people, now I wonder who has lung cancer Thanks again for the support!

Thanks everyone! I am all set to go and ready to kick cancer tushy and have today be one of my mom's happiest days!!!!!!!!!!! It is a bit pressure cancer aside b/c I don't know most of the woman, it is being thrown by Brian's mom's friends and his mom told me that she put me up on a pedestal, so people will be expecting me to walk on water, so the pressure is on. She said "good luck kid" I already called my mom excited this morning and told her I am turning into her. Normally she is vain and I am laid back. But today I am travelling to LA with my makeup kit, brush, hairspray, and three shirts so my mom can decide which I wear My mom said something yesterday--she said every day she is alive, she is filled with more hope because the more chances for newer better treatments. I like her attitude!

Thank you. You are right. Cancer DOES rob us. The cancer fear is probably with us forever and we cannot let it win. I know that I have to have a good time tomorrow, my mom knows me sooo well, she can smell if I am sad even if I have a smile on. So I will enjoy the attention for the day, be grateful, live in the moment, and then go back to worrying after The emotional roller coaster we are all on is so amazing. And I really am proud of how we are all battling. This website is such a wonderful place to share your fears and know you are not alone. If other people heard me, they would not understand the emotions. Thank you!!!!!!

Well tomorrow is a big day--it is my bridal shower. I feel soooooo guilty, why should all of this hoopla be done for me when my mom and so many are fighting for their lives. I don't want to celebrate, I want to understand how we have a robot on Mars, but no lung cancer cure. Poor Natalie is mourning, people are suffering, and I am supposed to put a big smile on and pretend all is ok and I am the happy blushing bride? My husband and mom don't want me to say anymore "what's the point of the wedding with cancer". I can see their point, yet I just feel guilty. I guess on the bright side, my mom will be there tomorrow. I am nervous though, it is an hour drive to my mother in law's house (my dad is driving her) and we have a meeting with caterer first. She had chemo yest, so my eye will be on her Anyway, I just wanted you all to know that you will be in my hearts tomorrow and as I am opening up presents, I will be saying lung cancer prayers for all of us! Thanks for listening to my neurosis

Crazy and yet inspiring. I like it! Go Laurie Go!!!!!!

Natalie, I am so sorry. Your mom was lucky to have a daugther as wonderful as you and I am so glad you were able to be with her. I cannot express in words what I want to say to you, my heart is grieving for you, and I just am at a loss. Please send Phil and your dad our condolences.

Chani, From what we were told, so many people have to delay chemo for various reasons whether it be infection, low blood counts, etc, and it has no effect on treatment. The only effect it has is to eat at our nerves and make us worry

Hi. I am curious, is there anyone else out there who has not lost any weight from chemo? My mom is now on fourth cycle and we joke that she is the only cancer patient with no weight loss. She is just as fluffy and beautiful as she was pre-cancer And by the way, in case I never told anyone this before, I HATE CANCER. How can my mom be so sick and yet look so good and feel ok? Oy vey

Carlton your reaction is normal. Like Becky described, I was on edge the entire week prior to scan. Guess what? My mom's tumor showed shrinkage. But am I happy? No b/c she has blood clots and still who knows what will happen next scan, it is all uncertainty. The good thing is knowing that our emotions are NORMAL and take comfort in that others are feeling the same way. It is like phew, I am not as mentally insane as I thought Everyone else gets this way too! I cannot imagine how I wo uld be without the prozac. Here is what I told people this week when I gave the scan results, I prefaced that with lung cancer, there is NO good news. I said there is bad news, stable news, or positive/encouraging news sand I bite off heads when they wrote back great news about shrinkage. Who wants to jinx it and i said in 5 years you can tell my mom her scan in 2004 was great news

David, My mom is on gemzar, started fourth cycle today. She did not experience breathing problems, but she does have blood clots which is serious, but common and treatable. You should call your dr and let him know how are you feeling. My mom was asympomatic and clots were seen on her Ct Scan, but they said eventually she would have had breathing symptoms. I personally never knew until yesterday that chemo frequently causes clots

Thank you for the reply! I don't know what is wrong with me. My parents called me and said if I don't calm down, I am going to go first. My husband told me today to slow down. And apparently I sounded frazzled when I called my mother in law, that my father in law made her come home to call me back! I guess it is the cancer roller coaster ride, the hope with shrinkage, the fear of the clots, and the fact that I have one month till the big wedding and I have not been thinking about it. I will tell my mom about the filter, she does not have that, but it is good to know that they might be able to do something preventative! Thank you!

Hi. They put my mom on cumadin for at least 6 months for the blood clots and my dad gives her two shots the next ten days. Has anyone heard if cumadin causes a delay for surgery? Our goal is surgery for my mom after the fourth or fifth chemo cycle since it is shrinking. She started her fourth round today. They wait a month after chemo though for surgery. The nurse said the cumadin should not delay b/c they can give her shots. I was just wondering if anyone had experience with cumadin and surgery. I am so anxious today. Sorry!

Lung tumor and lymph node tumor have shrunk a bit. Lung was 5.1 X 5.1 and is now 2.7 X 3.8. However, she 3 bloods clots total, clots in both lungs They usually hospitalize you, but there are no beds they said and there is no need for her to be hospitalized. She cannot exercise. Tomorrow she has ultrasounds of each leg to see if they came from there. My dad gives her shots for 10 days Another scan in 10 days to see if clots are dissolved. If not maybe pills. Chemo will be given tomorrow. But clots have to resolve to consider surgery Is this normal? I am so scared of the word clots

They just called my mom from ct scan, blood clot in lung. What does this mean???????? SHe has to go for an aterial scan in a few minutes.

Thanks for the responses. I learned the real deal---if necessary the results can come quickly, it just depends on how busy they are and willingness to take the time to get back to you. I like how the Wisconson Cancer Center does, there is no need to make people wait when we are so on edge. My dad asked the scan place if they could do a "wet and dirty" preliminary report to dr. Thtey asked if the dr requested it. My dad was honest and said "no, but I do, i am about to have a meltdown". They said they would try, they usually do it only by dr request. My dad called the oncologist office and left a message for the physician assistant. She is a sweet girl and called my parents at 6:30 tonight to let them know that preliminary says some shrinkage in both areas--lung and lymph; no evidence of cancer elsewhere. But we really won't know exactly what this means , or if this is accurate or measurements until the appt on Fri. However, I do feel a bit relieved

Deb, I would send it and tell your friend that you are still receiving cancer related e-mails because you are helping in the fight since lung cancer personnaly effected your family. Tell her since knowledge is power, you just wnated to send her a link you came across and if there is any other information she needs, you would be happy to help. I think having the info come from someone who experienced cancer first hand with her own family would be comforting. That is my two cents worth What part of Long Island? I was born and raised in Holbrook, NY. Moved out to California after law school