karenl

Much love is being sent to Teri and her family.....I so wish that things were different Karen

Dear Carleen I am sorry things seem so desperate right now. Please know that I am thinking of you both, and hoping, hoping, hoping for that miracle. Love and strength, Karen

Dear Bill Thank you for continuing to use your experiences to help others. It is very generous of you to find the time right now to pass on information that may be pertinent to other members. My best wishes for your family. Karen

Dear Bill, Rob and Etsuko, Please know that our thoughts are with you. I'm so sorry that you are all having to go through this...... Karen

Much love going to Teri and her family. Don and Lucie, thank you for keeping us up to date, and please let Teri know how much we care about her..... Karen

Dear Rob and Bill Please know that we are thinking of the three of you. Mum also experienced hallucinations/delusions and personality changes, and I know how devastating it is to witness. I hope that things improve and that your Mom is able to be made comfortable. Love and best wishes to your family...... Karen

Oh, Val.... Kel and Becky are right - I'm sure your Mom tried very hard to stay with you...there were so many things for her to look forward to. I truly believe that most people do give their all when fighting cancer, and that much of the time, the speed with which things happen is attributable to a variety of factors over which the patient might have very little control - things like response to treatment, the strength of the immune system and the rate of cell division of the tumours, and are in NO way a reflection of the strength of character, or 'fighting spirit' of the patient. I cannot begin to imagine the fortitude required to face the day with a smile on your face when you've been handed a diagnosis/prognosis like our mothers were. To undergo treatments that made them feel sick and tired, with the knowledge that it likely wouldn't cure the disease anyway must have taken immense courage. My Mum stayed strong and positive when the rest of us were stumbling along in the dark - she never gave up, even close to the end, when she was deteriorating fast, we would find her making lists of complementary medicines and treatments that she wanted to try. And her biggest concern throughout the course of her illness was minimising the impact it had on us. They're ALL fighters, Val. Just take a look in the mirror - where do you think you got YOUR fighting spirit??! You've had an awful lot to contend with in the last two years, and you're still here, lending support to the rest of us.....must be something in the genes...... Love Karen

Dear Teri So lovely to see you! I hope that hospice can keep your pain at bay. Think of you often...... Love Karen

I believe the success or otherwise of WBR depends somewhat on the size of the lesions.....Mum had in excess of 8 spots, one was around 2cm. Four months after completing treatment, all of the smaller ones had disappeared completely. I spoke to a radiation oncologist about WBR, and he said that he had several patients doing well some years after completing WBR I hope that your Mom responds well to her treatment. All the best, Karen

Dear Sherri Please accept my condolences on the loss of your father. I'm so very sorry....... Much love, Karen

Val, I thought your post was very well written, and I totally understood where you were coming from. The needs and wants of the dying person and those closest to them are a priority. If they want a house full of friends and relatives in the last days, all well and good......but if they need to close ranks on the outside world, then that should be understood and respected. Personally, I didn't want anyone besides our immediate family at the house during Mum's last week.....even my own husband and children were only allowed short visits with me! And I agree, people who have been absent during the course of the illness, should not turn up at the last minute just to make themselves feel better, unless the dying person specifically wants to see them. I think it is selfish in the extreme. Thank you for writing this post, I'm sure it will be helpful to many people. Love Karen

I can imagine what it must have been like waiting for that phone call, Ginny . A group of us had a discussion about this subject on a forum here, with one lady arguing that she likes the fact that her doctor only works part time because she 'has a life', and is not 'burnt out'. It's actually pretty hard to find a family doctor that works full time any more. I find it really annoying, and I'm sure that my attitude is a result of the fact that my parents are doctors. My dad was an 'old-fashioned' general practitioner, who had a solo practice and was on call 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We didn't get to have family holidays, because one of dad's patients always had a baby due, and he was constantly called out in the middle of the night and on weekends. Looking back, I can see that we sacrificed alot as a family so that dad could practice the style of medicine he loved. And he won the love and respect of his patients for it. Mum found it difficult to strike a balance between family and work, so she gave up practicing medicine when we were small children. I am proud of both of my parents for giving their all to their respective choices. It seems that medical practitioners these days want the best of both worlds, which is understandable. Unfortunately, the patient is always the loser in this equation. I hope that if enough patients write letters like the one above, more doctors might come to understand the depth of the obligation they have to their patients, and we might eventually see a return to the practice of medicine where the patient comes first. Karen

Wow, what a powerful letter!! How sad that it needed to be written at all......... Karen

I understand, and am so sorry you are going through this. I hope the steroids and WBR can help to reverse things for your Mom. Steroids usually work very quickly to reduce swelling, so if inflammation is responsible for some of the symptoms, then you will likely see some improvement relatively soon. Wishing you and your Mom the best, Karen

Maryanne, we use the term 'theatre' here also - meaning operating theatre. I presume the term relates to the viewing area in some hospitals where students and medical professionals can watch the surgery.....what do you call them in the States??

Hi Jim You might be interested in taking a look at this website: http://www.laetrile.com.au/ The site is obviously pro-laetrile (B-17), and in my experience, it is almost impossible to find a website that offers a 'balanced' view on 'alternative' medicine. Treatment decisions are so difficult. The reality is that traditional therapy (chemo/radio) works brilliantly well for only a limited number of people. The rest might have relatively limited, temporary responses, and many suffer from deleterious side effects. It seems to me that many 'alternative or complementary' medicines get a bad rap because they do not 'cure' cancer. Well, last time I looked, chemotherapy doesn't often 'cure' cancer either, and yet patients are encouraged to do it. I'm not saying that patients shouldn't do chemo - I would if I had cancer. But we should also not be too quick to discount non-traditional methods of treatment before we have really investigated them thoroughly. Good luck with your research, and I hope you find something that helps. I sent you a pm with another website for you to look at (www.lef.org). Karen

Dear Teri I'm so sad to read this post from you. I hope fervently that you receive a miracle, and if that is not to be, that you are able to enjoy an abundance of pain-free days with your family. Your presence on this board has helped so many.....I hope you know that. Much love, Karen

Mum was really fatigued for a long time after finishing WBR. If your Mom is managing to work full-time, then I reckon she's doing pretty well!! All the best, Karen

Dear Teri Thinking only good thoughts for you. Lots of love coming your way.... Karen

Dear Karen I'm so sorry about the loss of your Mom, and so soon after losing your Dad......may you find comfort and strength in the coming days. Love Karen

Hi Don and Lucie No experience with Avastin, but I hope it works well and treats Lucie kindly. Will be thinking of you both. Love Karen

Hi Debbie I know how awful this is.....I hope the doctors are able to find out what is causing these symptoms. When Mum was in a similar situation, we asked the doctors to check for things like hypercalcemia, urinary tract infection, dehydration.....all can cause cognitive symptoms like you have described. It is such a scary thing to be going through for all of you. Your Dad is lucky he has you to advocate on his behalf. Love Karen

Dear Tina Please accept my condolences. I wish there was something I could say besides 'I'm sorry'. Peace and comfort to you and the girls. Love Karen

Dear Lori I understand only too well what you are going through. The level of care your Mom is receiving sounds similar to that which we encountered when Mum was admitted to a palliative facility for a couple of weeks. Pretty appalling, and makes an already heartbreaking situation that much more difficult. I wish I had some answers that might help you. All I can do is echo what has been said before - be there as much as you can, and know that you have done, and are doing, as much as is humanly possible. Talk to your Mom, and reassure her that you will be with her as long as she needs you. Touch her and hold her hand. Insist that her pain is kept under control at all times. I think it must be very frightening for someone who is non-communicative to be in pain and unable to tell someone (I think you are right about when she holds her head - that is how we knew that Mum was in pain when she was awake). I hope that an explanation for your Mom's condition can be found and something done to restore her to you. I wish strength and courage for you both. Love, Karen

Dear Kim I understand and share your pain. It's more than any of us should have to bear...... Karen