karenl

Love and good wishes for Tina, Charlie and the girls. Karen

Kasey, I am so sorry to read this. Lots of good thoughts and wishes coming to you and Tracy and the rest of the family..... Love Karen

Hi Lisa I was so glad to see your posts a few weeks back, and I'm pleased that you are staying around! (By the way, if you are looking for the other responses you received, your post was put up in duplicate for some reason, and if you look a little bit further down the list in this forum, you will find the other post and its responses ) My very best wishes to you and your son as you continue on this path..... Karen

Dear Eppie I am so sorry...... Strength and comfort to you and your family. Love Karen

Wow, Lisa. This has made me really angry. I agree with Katie......I think you have every right to be outraged with the attitude of the school to your concerns. We don't have anything like this programme here, and I don't know how it operates, but I would think that it would be prudent for the people delivering the seminars to speak with the teachers beforehand in order to determine whether members of the class are affected by any of the topics being discussed. And, personally, I would then expect them to 'recallibrate' the material accordingly. I would be happy for them to be talking about the statistics relating risky behaviour (such as smoking) to disease development. And for them to relay the fact that lung cancer is a very serious illness. But I would NOT tolerate discussion of survival statistics. Even if one of the kids asked outright. I hope that you are able to reassure your daughter. The fact that you have had stage IV for almost 4 years already means that you have seriously defied the odds, so those pesky statistics don't really apply to you anyway!!

Lots of positive thoughts and good wishes for Teri. Love Karen

Sher, please listen to what Ellen, Maryanne and Cathy have said. Grief and loss are part of this journey for many of us, and there is no reason that you should feel uncomfortable about posting here. Please stay...... Karen

I came across this poem in a book I was reading, and I find the last 5 lines in particular help me when the sadness starts to get overwhelming: If I be the first of us to die, Let grief not blacken long your sky. Be bold yet modest in your grieving. There is a change but not a leaving. For just as death is part of life, The dead live on forever in the living. And all the gathered riches of our journey, The moments shared, the mysteries explored, The steady layering of intimacy stored, The things that made us laugh or weep or sing, The joy of sunlit snow or first unfurling of the spring, The wordless language of look and touch, The knowing, Each giving and each taking, These are not flowers that fade, Nor trees that fall and crumble, Nor are they stone, For even stone cannot the wind and rain withstand And mighty mountain peaks in time reduce to sand. What we were, we are. What we had, we have. A conjoined past imperishably present. So when you walk the woods where once we walked together And scan in vain the dappled bank beside you for my shadow, Or pause where we always did upon the hill to gaze across the land, And spotting something, reach by habit for my hand, And finding none, feel sorrow start to steal upon you, Be still. Close your eyes. Breathe. Listen for my footfall in your heart. I am not gone, but merely walk within you.

So very sorry to hear this.... Karen

Well, Miss Peggy, how was it?? Hope everything went smoothly for you.... Love Karen

Love and good wishes for Tina, Charlie and the girls... Karen

Here is some info about the film..... http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0427944/

I agree that it would be a good idea to have a separate section in the Grieving Forum if spouses feel they need one. I very much feel for what Beth said about wanting to stay where people know her as 'Beth and Bill', not just 'Beth'. I also think the danger of suggesting that these people move on to a separate grieving board will result in a serious depletion of valuable resources. As has been said earlier, this disease takes few prisoners, and we need to keep the resources that we have - the loved ones left behind. The reality is that there are not many long term survivors of advanced lung cancer. If the carers don't hang around to help, then newcomers will be forced to continually 're-write' the book. And these widows/widowers are our friends - I want them to stick around! When Mum was alive, I almost never read the Grieving or Obit forums. I needed to believe that we were going to beat this thing, and I needed the support, advice and information from people who had been there before us. These days, I spend alot more time in the Grieving forum, but I still read the rest of the board and contribute if I think I have something of value to add. I understand that it is perhaps a logistical headache for administrators to keep refining the board, but the loss of a beloved spouse is likely to be the single most devastating event of a person's life. I believe we need to recognise and respect that fact by listening to how they think we can best meet their needs. If they go to another message board to receive the support they feel they need, then we will all lose.... Katie and Rick have done such a wonderful thing in developing this meeting place - they both deserve some sort of award!! , and I'm sure it is quite a different creature today than when it started out. I hope that it can continue to grow and evolve in response to the needs of its members.

Dear Jamie WOW - what a wonderful tribute! Thank you so much for doing this - raising awareness and honouring our loved ones - you are awesome!! Karen

Karen, it's so hard, isn't it? Please know that we understand what you are going through....... I'm so sorry, Karen

Hi Lisa First, I want to say hello, and welcome back . I remember you well, and it's good to see you again, and to know that you and your son are doing OK. For me personally, one of the hardest things throughout Mum's diagnosis and illness, was the pessimistic attitude of the medical professionals. I would like to see doctors be made aware that there are people surviving this disease for much longer than expected, and for them to pass this information on to their patients. Of course lung cancer (advanced disease) has a very poor prognosis, but I believe that there are ways of informing patients of the seriousness of their condition, while at the same time allowing them to hold on to some hope. I would like to see doctors educated in this regard, so that they can direct their patients towards groups like LCSC where they can make contact with other patients who are defying the odds. Good luck with this, Lisa, and I hope you stick around for a while..... Karen

Dear Sue Please know that you are not alone in your grief. I am so sorry for what you are going through..... Love Karen

I understand Peggy. When Dad makes a call to me on my cell phone from his cell phone, it flashes saying 'Mum's calling'. I don't have the heart to change it, and it always makes my heart ache when I see it Love Karen

Too sad for words.... Karen

My sincere sympathy to all of Fay's loved ones . What an exceptional lady she was....... Karen

Hi Rachel (Love your name, by the way - the same as my Mum's!). Welcome. Glad that your Dad is doing OK now. Karen

Dear Sue Much love coming to you and Mike.....hang in there. Karen

Dear Sherri You are in such a tough spot! Like I mentioned in a pm, I would consider getting your Dad reviewed by a neurosurgeon, if time permits - I don't know how long it takes to get an appointment where you are. A neuro would probably be in a better position than the oncologist to determine whether your Dad is a good surgical candidate. BUT, whatever happens, always remember that you are doing the best you can for your Dad, and it is HIS decision in the end. All the best, Karen

Dear Fay Your words have helped me countless times over the last two years. I will miss you...... Love always Karen "To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you lived. This is to have succeeded." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Dear Karen There is absolutely nothing wrong with continuing to search for, and hope for, something that might help Ken. We did the same thing for Mum, right up until the end - HOPE is what kept us all going.... I hope you get a miracle, Love Karen