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Brian, That's quite the history! I'm not in your shoes but reading through what you have been through and where you are, I'd be inclined to go on disability and spend time with your boys. I know kids are little germ factories, but if you can handle it, I am sure their school would love another adult in the classroom (well, they probably aren't in school over the summer.) Or, do what you can to make the most of your good days with them and take care of yourself as best you can. I took most of the past 7 months off - slept, read, and not a lot more. For better or worse, my SO works from home, so I always had company if I needed some. Last year, I worked 60-80 hours a week. It wasn't hard to make the change to not working. Wish I had had the energy to do something enterprising or crafty or such, but it just wasn't necessary. I'm back at work now. I wasn't terribly accepting of even stage IIIb. I read some buddhist works, some general living therapy type books, talked a lot with my SO and a few friends, including ones 1 and 2 years ahead of me in cancer world, and with my docs / PAs, and the good people here. All of it helped, but I was up and down all the time. Be good to yourself and those you love. Stephanie

My Mom had a similar timeframe, 25 years ago. July and August were all we had. I found I could not concentrate or get through a work day and did take some anti-depression meds for a short time - it is okay to do this if you need some relief. I've told this story before - I was planning to go to a family reunion in October - for my maternal line, and went ahead with the plan. I met 200-300 people, only a few I had met before. Many knew my Mom when she was a girl. There was so much unconditional love that long weekend, I stopped the meds (not recommended to go cold turkey, but what did I know?) and cried, and laughed, and made some new friends. I think it took over a year for me to not think about her with sadness each day, but a time did come when my thoughts changed to thinking of the good times with her, and at times, just thinking how much she would enjoy whatever I was doing now, and wishing she could be here, without so much pain. Love is like that (physically painful), but try to think of your heart opening rather than breaking. It hurts, yes, but there is opportunity there. Hugs.

I spent a few hours with an attorney before my lung surgery. It's not everything that needs to be done, but a big part of it. She was great in making the paperwork professional, but also with some counseling on things I would never have considered. Judy - 25 plus years ago, when my Mom lost to the beast, the best she did was a short note to my Dad. Lost to me, beyond the hole she left, were the unidentified photos, and her writings. She was a wanna bee writer and I know of only one story I ever saw. I'm betting there were more and they went out with the rest of her personal items. I would love to have those more than the couple of cookbooks and small appliances I inherited. I think you better plan to stick around for that grandson of yours - he is moving into those difficult years and can use your poetry and humor.

Hey Bud, Hugs from here - so sorry to hear this news. Be kind to each other. Just caught the humor - Rose and Bud!?

In the worst of my esophagitis, I still ate ice cream. Will Gene? It took 3 weeks after radiation ended before I wasn't afraid to swallow, but I did not have concurrent chemo - I think that may make it worse? I still have episodes of tightening in throat (?) that make me feel like I can't breathe, but eating is good again. I had my first popcorn of 2009 this weekend!

Some nice wild alaskan salmon - Yukon, or Copper River, please.

Paul, I also send you whatever you need to get through these days. Having also walked through a bunch of Italy prior to dx (by three years), I hope Michael enjoyed those days to extremes and was able to reflect on them as a special time during his days of reflection. My crooked Tuscan road with cypress trees print hangs directly over my desk. Beautiful days and memories. Hugs, Stephanie

So interesting. I was on Lipitor for years, paying out of pocket. About December 2007, I got prescription coverage and insurance wouldn't pay for it. Tried two other statin drugs over the next 6 months - had reactions to both, finally got an okay to go back to Lipitor in the fall, same time as my lc dx. I haven't filled it (expensive, even with insurance, and I was tired of taking meds the past 8 months.) Did Lipitor prevent lung cancer from forming for years? I was on statin drugs right up to my finding, except for the last couple of weeks. So much for my 77% risk reduction. Yup, I'm part of that 27% who still got lc. Funny math. My doc did tell me that Lipitor had shown some benefits for lowering the risk of lung cancer when I asked last fall. Guess I might have to renew that prescription one of these days.

Gorgeous here too. 80 and blue sky predicted, like yesterday. We've got a small, red headed woodpecker in the snag in the back. Hasn't started working this morning, yet. Tomato plants are starting to flower, strawberries are setting fruit. Seeds (various greens) are sprouted, and lots of volunteer (from not fully composted kitchen waste) squash plants thriving. Been feeling really good the last two days - hoping to keep it that way.

I had cisplatin/gemcitabine. My hair hurt each cycle, but did not fall out. Then, after I was done with chemo, for the next month and a half, my hair thinned to about 1/2 (I had thick hair.) It stopped, for the most part. I know my hair is different, but most people don't notice. Interestingly, my haircutter brought to my attention that you could see the cycles in my hair. Each 3/4" or so, was alternating color/texture! Like tree rings of growth. I did have remarkably less hair on my legs and underarms during chemo - no shaving needed! And lightening of eyelashes and eyebrows. Radiation came after - no hair loss. And things started back to normal overall. Not sure if my head will be as thick in the future. The docs should be able to tell her if hair loss is common with etopside. It shows as a possible side effect on line.

Thanks for the thoughts. I finished radiation with hives in check - the spots are fading slowly and not itchy. I didn't take anything but did use anti-itch cream a couple of days. Just stubborn about not taking Benadryl even though I don't know if I react adversely to it. FYI - the last week and a half of radiation really messed up my esophagus. Kind of like something was always stuck in my throat / choking me. Eating was not fun and I got a bit of aversion therapy to most everything (but ice cream...) I'm two and a half weeks out now and still get these weird contractions in my throat but finally it doesn't hurt to swallow. I'm still not very hungry or interested in food. Food used to be one of my obsessions - reading about, cooking, eating out, discussing...now, I can't even come up with something I want to eat. I'm assuming this will change one of these days. And the fatigue will end or at least subside as I get more active...fingers crossed.

Hi Sandra, I can almost see Victoria from here, so I hope my hug travels easily. It's not the same, but for a reality check, I picked up my Dad for a doctor's appointment this morning and he did not recognize me. First time ever, though he is 90. He apologized profusely, but things will never be the same. Enjoy your family time as best you can. Stephanie

They also subscribe to the teachings of the Nemenhah Band, a Missouri-based religious group that believes in natural healing methods advocated by some American Indians. In Jewish Law, 13 is old enough to be a man. But there seem to be extenuating circumstances here related to the boy's ability to make this decision. Also, to bring up his aunt as an example is so wrong. All cancer isn't the same cancer, as we know. His parents are doing him a disservice. But it is a difficult case to prosecute in the full range of personal rights. I guess what we do is hope (pray) that they be helped to what is most right.

We have had some blue sky for 3 whole days. I've spent a little time on the back patio reading, and watching at least two Wilson warblers in the cherry tree. I think I spotted 2 males yesterday, so there may be 2 couples. Little flashes of light. 5 tomato plants have been planted, along with some seeds for various green things. It took me two weeks...

yogurt

Hi Sandy, I had spent a week with my Mom towards the end of her life. Planned to go home, but my father asked me to stay. I was not able to make myself go back into the hospital room - my good byes had been said. Went home 3 or 4 days later and the first morning at home we got the call that she had passed away. The situation here is very different (I was not the primary caregiver for one) so I am only telling this to let you know that I do not regret my decisions about that time. I am sad that she was alone when she died, but she always told me that it would be necessary for it to be that way (based on her parents.) She also told me her family was there waiting for her and would help. I still don't know what I think about that, 25 years later. I wish you ease and comfort in whatever you decide. More than going home for business, I think going home to be in your husband's embrace is a great idea.

Wow, amazing. I drank ginger tea and we ate lots of fresh ginger in our dinners during chemo. I was fine with spicy food almost everyday of treatment.

Hi Ann, You already know what to expect from the attorney? That's good. Just remember to listen to the question, pause a moment, and only answer the question asked - don't speculate, say as little as you can, and "I don't remember" is a perfectly acceptable answer. Good luck, hope it goes easily.

Welcome Sue, Sorry you needed to find the site, but it is a true blessing. Lots of hope, good advice, and ears that have "been there, done that". Some days are better that others - you sound remarkable for 2 months on this road. You appear to have a "no wasting time" medical team and it sounds like it is doing right by you. Another out of the blue here. I just finished treatment, and I am still fearful at times, but trying to figure out how to live my life - I know it is one day at a time, but still need to plan for an uncertain future. Really, no different that if this was never my dx, just brings things more into focus. Be well, stay fierce, and accept help. Stephanie

I'm afraid I am also a tough one to get to drink. I like lemonade, and also, when I take a pill, I try to drink a full glass of water. A couple of large mugs of (green, ginger, or boxed herb) tea (with a bit of sugar.) Of course, it was cold out and the tea helped warm up. He needs more protein, if you can manage it. Will he drink smoothies - ice cream, juice, whey protein powder?

Oh happy day - today is the last of my 30 radiation treatments! The last of 6 months of treatment that started with surgery Nov 10. I baked a big batch of oatmeal cookies for the clinic (I can barely eat them with my sunburned throat.) Next appointment scheduled for June 22. Going out tonight with friends and my sweetie. He deserves a prize. All you caregivers do. Thank you. Stephanie

I've found ibuprofen has helped me with radiation throat as much as anything. I'm also using Carafate (Rx) and Tums to keep the stomach acids down. The past week, to help at night, I dug back into my Lorazepam (PA recommendation) before bed. It felt like I was having muscle spasms in my throat, especially when I was horizontal, so she thought it might help smooth the muscles - side benefit is anti-anxiety and a light sleep aide.

Hmm, someone needs a fact checker - the subtitle says "small cell", the body of the article says "non small cell". That's in the original link. But thanks for the link.

4 cycles of Gemzar (gemcitabine)/Cisplatin here. 4 rounds of Cis required lots of anti-nausea drugs and rest, 8 rounds of Gemzar, nothing - well maybe some extra rest. We would go out for lunch after my Gemzar solo days and they marked the upswing in my cycles. At least that is how I remember it. I got through all of it with no added blood or blood enhancement. There is reimbursement available for this drug too (I did not take advantage of it.) http://www.gemzar.com/pat/pat560_reimbu ... upport.jsp Insured, underinsured, or not insured. Toasting good results! Stephanie

If interested, check with your local YMCA and see if they participate in the "Exercise and Thrive Program" - a 10 week, twice a week program for lung cancer survivors (you have to have completed treatment and get a release from your doc.) It's supported by the LiveStrong Foundation. I start next week!