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Update on Mom


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Hello Everyone,

Thank you so much for all the support and kind words. Mom is getting worse much faster then we ever thought. She is to the point now that she spends most of her time dozing from the medicine, she hardly ever gets any amount of rest, and I have finally got her to take the morphine and that gives her about 3 hours of sleep at a time on a good day. I can still only get her to take it at night. The right lung according the hospice RN has totally been taken over by the cancer. They no longer hear anything when they check. So we're down to one lung. Her feet are sooooo swollen that they just look like the skin is going to tear any minute. I have to help her everywhere she goes now and we no longer get out of the house unless it is to see the doctor. The hospice nurse told us last week on tuesday that if anyone in the family wanted to have a quality conversation with her to come now because she would more then likely be totally bed ridden within 2 weeks. So we sent for her sister in Washington state.

I spend almost all of my time with mom now. I am also going through a divorce. All of this came about at the same time. So basically I told the husband that he would have to wait my mom came first. Even with everything going on with my mom she is more worried about me and my divorce. I finally had to take the medicine away from her because she was taking the wrong times and taking too much. It is so hard to watch my mom go from being able to walk and talk at the beginning of May to not being able to walk alone at all, sometimes she can't even talk, a two year old talks better, and now we have pullups on mom and I have to give her a bath. She just broke down and cried the other day because she kept telling me she was helpless. I just kept telling her that she was sick and that we didn't expect her to do anything. That my brother and I were there to take care of her and get whatever she needed. She said but i'm never going to get better. I said "I know you won't mom but we're her to make sure that your time with us is comfortable and as unpainful as possible."

She fell about the second weekend in May and broke her nose. Then last week I went to get her medicine and while I was gone that split second she was up and lost her balance and fell. Luckily nothing was broke.

She is an extremely brave woman and I do everything I possibly can to make her comfortable and to get her what she needs. But it is so hard to watch her go down hill right before my eyes.

Thank you so much for listening. It has been a great help to me.


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You are a wonderful daughter to take such good care of your mom, and I'm thrilled to hear that your brother is helping, too. Give him a hug from me.

I'm sorry to hear that you are having to go through this. I went through it with my dad last June and my mom five years before that, so I know how hard it is mentally and how much work it is physically.

I replied on your other post about the swelling. My mom and dad both got lasix (sp?) for the swelling and it helps a LOT! If the swelling is water retention, which it usually is, the lasix draws it off. It also works pretty fast and her urine output will increase, but she will feel better.

Hang in there, honey. I know this is hard to believe, but you will cherish these days and later on you will say that you were blessed to have been able to have this experience.

God bless you,


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I am so sorry your mother has worsened. As Peggy said, you are doing a great job with her and you are there for her. I haven't been in your shoes, so I don't pretend to understand all that you are going through. However, I will be praying for her, you, your brother and the rest of the family. Take care.

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Hi Elonda,

You are doing everything right. You are there to help take care of her and she is not alone. You are a blessing to her.

This has to be so hard on you. As you are afraid to leave her for a short time as she may try to get up herself. I hope your brother is giving you a break so you could just get thoughts together.

Keep doing what you are doing. You ARE a wonderful daughter who really cares and loves her mom so much.

You are going to make her transition so much easier for her by just being there for her.

I pray she is not in too much pain.

G-d speed.


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Dear Elonda,

My heart goes out to you, your mom, and your brother. What a time you are having. I have nothing much to add to all the other wonderful posts. I agree with them all! We here are just so proud of you...being such a wonderful, caring daughter.

My prayers are for your family that you will be granted the strength needed to see you through this storm. Also some very special prayers for your mom.



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My prayers and thoughts will be with your family. Please take care of yourself while you are caring for your mother and let us know if there is anything that we can do for you.

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