Apology

[Roger C]

I didn't real know where to post this, so I am putting it in the general forum. I would like to apologize to all the members of this board. When I stated posting here, I got all kinds of support, it is one great place to be a member of with this disease. I haven't been around or posted in a while and let me explain why. When I began, I made a mistake of reading every forum and every post. I think that was my downfall. I was even posting comments to encourage others. Then I thought, this is idiotic, how can I encourage others, when my journey is just beginning. Then the last straw for me was when Charlie passed away. . Here was a man who fought so hard and his local paper even did a story on him. I got depressed. I know there are winners and losers in this game, but it really bothered me. At that point, I didn't log on the board anymore. I did join in to some Tuesday night chats. A friend of mine, Marie that I met by the forums and has the same type lung cancer as me, and we keep in touch by email. She has encouraged me and I hope I have encouraged her. Randy has been help to me in the chats and I thank him for that. As for me, I have just finished a second cycle of chemo. After the first, scans showed 80% shrinkage. Mid August I got for more scans and if things go well , then we do something with the kidneys. Again, I apologize and hope you all understand.

[kamataca]

No apologies needed! I'm just glad you stopped in for an update. 80% shrinkage--that is so amazing! Just by letting us know about that, you have encouraged many. Don't underestimate yourself. I needed some good news this morning...and here you are!

Stop by when you can, and don't feel bad when you don't. We're always here.

Kelly

[gail]

Absolutely, no apologies needed. What you felt, especially at Charlie's death, has been felt by every one of us.

I remember when I first joined here, when the first few losses happened I too turned away from here. It was too raw and painful to see.

So, no apologies, okay? Go away when you need to, come back when you are ready.

gail

[Kasey]

Oh Roger, we all do what we can do and that's it. We understand exactly what you are saying and many of us have been in that same spot too. Just KNOWING that everyone here cares about everyone else is a wonderful thing. Don't feel you need to BE here all the time, ya know? Sounds as if you are going along fine at the moment.....so all is good, right? Thanks for letting us know you are still around and checking in from time to time. And do NOT feel one bit guilty!

Kasey

[RandyW]

Roger I get sad Every time we lose a member so don't feel alone about that. I don't even have this disease and by the grace of god I pray i never will. It took my soulmate and I am angry to the point I wish to do as much to fight this beast as I can. I hoope you are well and we will see you around as often as you want. W ehave to lean on each other because there are so many that will nort let us lean on them I believe because of the stigmatism associated with this cancer. Namely smoking and Lung Cancer. And that is so sad that many people refuse to wake up and see the light aboutthis disease. Falling off my soapbox and gotta go get some band aids. see ya tuesday night I hope. Sending Prayers for the other 20% reduction for ya.

[tnmynatt]

Roger,

I understand what you are saying. Sometimes I come here and can encourage others and sometimes reading about others just tears me up. You are human and there will be ups and downs. I feel guilty a lot for not being more supportive here...but, I just can't be as involved as I would like with everything else. If you need to talk with me about Charlie or anything, please PM me anytime. Keep fighting the good fight! You CAN do it! Take care.

[Don Wood]

Welcome back, Roger. Glad you are back here. Sometimes we need to take care of ourselves first and that is what you did. Normal. No apology necessary. Good to see your progress. Don

[Littlegirl]

Roger, we all understand your absence. Sometimes the reality of this disease is too much for us to handle. But please don't ever feel like you don't have something to contribute. I'm sure you've helped more people than you realize.

Sounds like you've been doing a WONDERFUL jub at fighting this ugly beast. CONGRATULATIONS and keep up the good work! And please stop in from time to time to keep us updated.

Karen

[marym]

Hi Roger,

Welcome back - whenever you feel like dropping in. I think this is valuable to some of us at different times during our disease, but we should be here when it's good for us.

It sounds as iff you are doing well. Hopefully this will continue.

Mary

[myrnalu]

Roger,Yes you have definatly encouraged me.It helps just knowing youre there for me.Its good to be able to talk to someone who knows what you are going through.If I have helped you any Im very happy about that.

Glad you posted,but like all the others said,no need to feel guilty.We all get depressed and sad when we read that someone we care about isnt doing well.And sometimes we need to take a break from it.

Just dont stop emailing me or ill worry about you my friend.

Marie

[Debi]

Roger,

Just wanted to add my voice to the others before me. I think everyone here has felt like you do and needed to pull back at times, and then felt guilty becuase of it- you are only human like the rest of us.

Glad to hear about your shrinkage, and hope you keep coming back to keep us posted when you can..

[ztweb]

Roger,

Goodness Sakes! Of course we understand. This da%$ disease is a mess....this is a journey we all take in a different way. I am glad you are back! Best of luck in the future...

As always I pray for a cure.

God bless,

Jen

[richinsdakota]

Yep...I wrote a similar post not long ago...had been quiet for quite awhile. But, no problem...folks here know some have to take a break at times...gets to a point you dont wanna think about it for awhile, sometimes. Did for me, anyway.

Just glad were both back! Take care...Rich B.

[Ry]

We all go through those periods Roger. I had one not too long ago where I just couldn't seem to put 2 words together and make sense. I came on and I read, but I just couldn't respond. I am glad you checked in.