Sheri Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 To keep my Dad alive. I've been a single mother for fifteen years, my Dad is the only father my daughter has ever known. About a month before he was diagnosed, my Dad prayed to God to help him quit smoking and added "but please don't kill me". When he was diagnosed with the deadliest of lung cancers, small cell, although early stage and inoperable for a cure, he quit a 40 year habit on the spot. After chemo and radiation, we rejoiced when he achieved remission. We thought perhaps God didn't think he should lose a lobe or go through surgery. His cancer has since recurred. He's now considered terminal. My Dad has lead a very faithful and honorable life. How do we deal with our shaken faith? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ztweb Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 Oh Sheri, I am so, so sorry! How did this all happen? When did he have reoccurance? How did you find out? I am so, so sorry! Please know I am thinking of you and praying...don't make any devil deals! God will watch out for you! God bless, Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolhg Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 Sherri I am so very, very sorry for the agony that you are going through right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blaze100 Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 Hi Sheri, Since Mom died my dad often asks me the purpose of this life...since most of it seems like a painful struggle. I guess the purpose of this life is to prepare ourselves for our next life - in Heaven hopefully. I am sorry to hear your Dad's lc is back. I pray for God's love and healing. Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharonjo Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 Oh Sheri I too am so sorry to hear your pain. I hate this disease! I also am a single mother - my husband passed away in Aug 2000 from heart disease. I have 3 sons, the eldest died last August from Osteosarcoma (bone cancer). I now have legal and physical custody of his two young sons (ages 2 & 4). I was diagnosed with Stage lV nsclc 12/29/05 and my older brother was diagnosed with extensive stage SCLC a week later. I have also lost my mother many years ago to this horrible disease. It just isn't fair, but I do believe that everything happens for a reason (even if we can't understand it now). I agree with Barb that the purpose is to prepare ourselves for our next life in heaven. There is a book called Embraced by the Light by Betty J. Eadie that I read after I lost my mom. In it the author tells of her several near death experiences and explains that before we were born, we actually chose our life and what would happen in it because we needed to learn something. This book has changed my views on death and dying. I'm not so afraid anymore. I encourage you to read it. It's message is very uplifting and it may help to ease your pain just a little. My prayers are with you and your dad. God Bless, Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mitzu Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 Oh Sheri, I'm so sorry. We went through the same thing. My Dad was such a sweet man, always helped people, loved his family deeply. And he had to die at 63. He hasn't seen his grandchildren, since I don't have kids yet. I don't know how you deal with it, you just have to take it day by day. We didn't lose our faith, because that's all we had left to help us cope with tragedy. I do think, like the rest of us on this forum, that God has a plan for each one of us. I don't know if that helps you. May God be gentle to you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 Sheri I am so sorry to hear about your dad. Please know you and your family are in my prayers. Chris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 Anything I could write would sound either preachy or trite and you don't need either of those things right now... All I can say is that I'm sorry. This stuff can be pretty obliterating to one's faith. I went through a large portion of this last year going--ok what ELSE can go wrong??? I *DO* believe that God loves us. I *DO* believe that he cares. I *don't* believe he gives us cancer. I think sometimes it's true that sh!t just happens. Somehow I still believe that he is good. And I know that he is weeping with you and your Dad and your daughter. ((((((Sheri)))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 As I have said before, I think it is harder when a person is "clear" of LC and gets a recurrence than if one struggles with the cancer all along. I am truly sorry about your dad. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma's kid Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 (((((Sheri))))) Libby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopeandstrength Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 My dad who was such a wonderful man, died 6 months ago. I really don't understand why this happened to him, although I know that bad things happen to good people all of the time. Faith? I don't know about that. I wish that I had it, but truthfully...I'm not sure anymore. I miss my dad so much and am so angry that he had his life cut short when there were so many things left that he wanted to do. He was so young and strong for his age and I really thought he would beat it. I'm sorry about your dad, but will keep my thoughts positive for your family. I wish I had more words of wisdom for you. Cathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyjohn Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 Sheri I know what you mean about questioning your faith. Just a few days before my Johnny died I had asked God to help me to help him. He was having a terrible problem with anxiety and panic attacks. His doctors made it clear that they had given up on him. I asked God to help me find a way to help him. That same day the chaplin at the hospital told me to call the Cancer Treatment and Wellness Center in Seattle. I ended up calling them and got an appointment for Johnny. Finding hope again turned his condition around. I was so certain that God was answering my prayers. I know now that he was. The problem was those same doctors who had given up on him and had made his anxiety problem so much worse started druging him. I didn't realize until it was too late that all of the things happening to him were drug overdose signs. He died of a drug overdose. Of coarse his death certificate says Lung Cancer but I know better. So do a lot of other people. When he died I was so angry at God. I didn't trust my faith because I had trusted and let my guard down and Johnny died. I was left with a hole in my heart and in my life that will never be filled. It took me a very long time but I know God now in a way that I never did before. My faith is very strong. I know that God did answer my prayers. He helped me find what I needed to help Johnny. He made me strong enough to stand by him and be there when he would have been alone if not for me. Like someone else said "shi_ happens" but there is a reason. Often reasons that we will never know nor understand. God wanted something from me. I'll never understand why me but I know that He had a plan for me to be here now doing what I do so well, caring for people with compasion and understanding that I gained because of my love and loss of my Johnny. God doesn't always choose the smartest or the ones with the most faith. Often he chooses weaklings like me. Like Sharon I have read many of the books about life after death (refer to my post questions). I truly believe that our lives follow a plan. If that plan was made by God or ourselves I don't know but I do know that God is always there waiting for us to reach out to Him. Ask for His help now. He will answer your prayers. It may not be by making your dad cancer free but by just giving you what you will need to see this through with your dad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 Hi Sheri, So sorry for your pain, this is a very heavy burden to carry on your shoulders. Your dad beat this once, please do not give up no matter what the doctors say. There is always something they could try. Keep the faith as faith doesn't get you around trouble it gets you through it. Deal with the Devil... think not, the devil is this horrible disease and God is faith, love, compassion and has reasons for the fate of his children. Please know that we are always here for you. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 Sheri so sorry for your pain as i can assure you like so many other's here i too felt the frustration of watching a loved one slip away. I asked GOD to take me and not my Wife as she had so much more to offer than i did, but GOD had other plan's. Maybe you've heard that out of suffering and pain GOD will if we look for him will make his presence known and in our case he did. We both returned to active Church participation and with out it i can not even imagine her Death now with out the involvement of our Church. I attend Mass reguraly now and just can not explain in word's how this act along has made such a dramatic difference in my life and how i now know GOD does have a plan for us and with faith and patience it will some day be all revealed to us. But what ever you do, do not take Satan lightly and even presume he is on your side because he is the prince of all lies. So trust God and even through the difficulty that may lay ahead he will make his presence known......Larry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angelofcharlie20 Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 Oh Sheri I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. Your Dad had beat this horrible disease one time - who is to say that he does not have another miracle up his sleave? If the doctors are not giving you enough treatment options - please go for a 2nd opinion. Even if they do give you some treatment options that sound good to you - it never hurts to see what another oncologist has to offer. Where has the cancer spread to? Maybe you can look into more area specific treatments. Is there a chemo regimine? I'm rambling now, but good luck Sheri and give your Father my best. Shirley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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