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It's being a while.....


Martha02

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Since I wrote on the board. It's being 10 months since my mom passed away. I don't know if any of you still remember me. Her birthday was last week and last year we had a big party for her 70th birthday. I never wanted to believe that it was her last one. As I go on everyday in disbelieve that she is gone trying to think that the phone is going to ring any second, and it's her. I remember my hubby used to get mad because sometimes we would talk 5 times a day. I always turned to her for everything, sometimes I feel so lonely without her, even if I have 2 kids and my husband.

With the holiday approaching it's so hard. Te thing that really breaks my heart it's my son, he is 4.5 years and he keeps asking sometimes crying, when is going to see his nonna. The only comfort I have that I dream about her at least 2 times a week. So is so nice to see her. The only thing I want to know maybe some of you had experience it, why don't I feel her presence. We had such a strong bond I would think that she would give me some signs that she is with me, and she is OK. I know I am crazy.

anyway thank you for letting me vent!

Take care!

Martha

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Hi Martha, it is so hard. I lost my Mom at the end of August. When she was diagnosed in January, I told my husband that I don't know what I'll do if I lose her. And a lot of days I still feel like I'm in a fog.

I'm not sure about feeling her presence. I don't really feel her with me. But you are lucky to dream about your Mom. I've heard some people say that is one way the communicate with us. I've really only had one dream about my Mom. She looked very happy and she told me that she's okay. I started to cry, woke up crying and felt like my heart was broken.

Sometimes I think we try too hard or have expectations of a loved one's presence. Hold onto those dreams!

Hoping all will be better soon,

Shauna

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I thought I'd feel her right away...and then I said, I'll give her three days (if it was good enough for Jesus, it would be good enough for mom). Well, I try to feel her...I don't to be honest. I thought it would be different.

Then again I watched star wars growing up about 600 times, so I thought she'd be blue and translucent and tell me to go to Dagobah to train with Yoda.

I'm making a joke, but the fact is, I did think it would be different. More obvious. I've had a few dreams...the details I will someday write. But not yet. But I believe they were more than dreams. A few other things too. But again they are not obvious like Obi Wan talking to Luke.

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I have a few "experiences" and you are going to think I am crazy!!!!!

Joe was a HUGE NASCAR fan and Jeff Gordon was his favorite driver. Please don't be offended by this because I don't mean it in a prejudice way but I always joked with Joe that Gordon was gay because he had the rainbow colors on his car. Well a few weeks after he died I was driving in town, wearing my Jeff Gordon shirt, passing "Rainbow Park" in my city and I looked up and there was a double rainbow! I kinda freaked. Then a few days later, I was watching the race and my rocking chair just started to rock, like someone got out of it. Weird. Was in Florida on vacation....kinda cloudy, no rain and look up and there is a rainbow. And I never really thought of it but 2 days before he died, I was passing through our hospital lobby. There is a self playing piano but that day a young girl was playing it. She was playing the song Kermit the Frog sings "Rainbow Connection". NOW THAT"S WEIRD!

Also had a dream right after he died. Joe had quit smoking a year before he was diagnosed. In my dream I asked him to go with me to my class reunion. He showed up bald with his O2 and wearing a powder blue leisure suit. No biggy. In my dream I lost him and went looking for him and there he was sitting in a corner and lit up a cigarette. I screamed "What are you doing?!!!" and he replied "I can smoke if I want too!". Joe wouldn't be caught wearing that! It was soooo like his sense of humor!

Anyway..........had to share!

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Martha, do you have a sign from Mom that you can relate to? Sounds weird but here is what I mean. DEb was my honey bunny. That was my nickname for her. A week after she died, I saw a bunny rabbit having breakfast in my front yard. I see my honey Bunnyabout every 2 weeks now and geting a little more frequent cause of cold weather.That is my sign. People laugh at me for that reason. Kiss this I say!! :lol: This is my sign, it helps.

The pain gets duller but never goes away. Sending prayers for you. I also have dreams, occasionally.all good.

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I've never "felt" my dad. It's been 3 years.

SOmetimes I will see things that remind me of him- once a dragonfly landed on my hand when I was crying at the cemetary and once there were these little flowers that made me think of him- but I haven't had any dreams and I don't "feel" him. And sometimes I envy those that do get those signs...I waited for the entire first year- but nothing.

My mom and I like to say he must be really busy catching up with his parents and brothers in heaven. He's happy and strong and painfree now and he knew he was loved.

Prayers for comfort and peace for you and your family,

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Martha,

I am so sorry, it is so hard to lose a parent. My Dad passed two years ago... it will be two years on Dec. 14th. He has sent me some amazing signs, one the night he died that is truly unexplainable. I have written about it before here, so I don't want to repeat the details again, but if you are interested PM me and I would be happy to share it. Since then, I have not received anything near as "in your face".... but, there have been little things that I am sure are him saying.. I'm right here. I believe your dreams are your connection to your Mom, you are so fortunate to be having them with such frequency. I on the other hand have only dreamt about Daddy maybe two or three times since his passing. Keep watching.... I am sure your Mom is close by watching over you. Love, Sharon

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