crystleshoe Posted November 20, 2006 Share Posted November 20, 2006 how can 1 day things be going so well and then in a matter of a day or so things are going so bad? My mom has been in the nursin/rehab center for 2 weeks now(after being in the hospital for 4 weeks) and i feel like she will never be home again. I was hoping that shed be here for thanksgiving but instead i have to bring thanksgiving dinnere there for her and my dad cuz he wont leave her. I went to spend tuesday with her because i didnt have to work. She was up and dressed and working with the physical threapist(which is another thing that i dont understand why is she is so weak). on Wed. dad said she had another good day. Thursday they worked with her and getting in and out of the car cuz we have to take her to chemo Mon, Tues and Wed. Well on Friday my sister(who lives in Nh also) and my self had been callin and calling her with no answer. Finally I called the nurses station and found out they moved her to another room still we did not talk to her so we decided to drive down(to MA) and check on things. We get there and she is in bed looking awful and dad says she hasnt eaten all day. Now im really ticked off and go find a nurse who tells me that she has c-dif(an infection in her intestines) causing diahrea and they have her on antibiotics (again). My sister went down again today and called me after her visit. Mom wont eat and says shes not going to chemo and why dont we all just leave her alone. My dad is exhausted and doesn know what to do. Sometimes i think she just wants to die and i dont think it will be lung cancer that kills her it will be her own lack of fight that will get her in the end. She is only 70 and she has just about givin up. And now i feel bad cuz im mad that she is being so selfish and wont fight this disease for my dad and shes not thinking of the hell she is puting us thru. I mean i know she has lung cancer and that sucks but it is only in 1 lung and has not spread anywhere else and she could probably live a lot more years. sorry this is so long but my thoughts just ramble sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted November 20, 2006 Share Posted November 20, 2006 Unfortunately, lung cancer is a real roller coaster ride, as you aptly described. Hang in there. And vent here anytime. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted November 20, 2006 Share Posted November 20, 2006 I am so sorry to hear this news about your mom. This is a rollercoaster of proportional magnitude. Can you print out some good news stories perhaps to convince her to fight? Just a thought. Let me tell you about that little bugger called C.Diff. My wife fough it this time last year and sadly will never fight it again. any way, Flagyl and Vancomycin are the 2 antibiotics used to treat it. Mom should be on constant IV for fluids to avoid dehydration. These will put on weight but mostly thru fluid retention. Also recommend some yogurt daily and they are probably doing this already. And lastly, MAke sure that she gets albumin after recovery to help reduce water retention. Albumin is basically an IV of Egg whites. this disease also kills appetite and pretty much give s a person the BLAHS!! It kept DEb in bed for 3 weeks in ICU last year at this time. Much love and many prayers for you and the family. Sometimes a hospital or a facility is the best place to be for the body to recover. Make sure that Dad takes care of himself and gets his rest and takes care of himself. You have to be strong yourself in order to take care of the ones you love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted November 20, 2006 Share Posted November 20, 2006 It's a tough call. I don't know about "selfish". Because I've never fought the disease myself. My mother was not going to buy time at the expense of feeling lousy. But she chose radiation so she would feel better. She elected not to do chemo. None of it really mattered in the end for her, she got the time that she got...but it was mostly all "good". So I am thankful to God every day for that. It's got to be tough and scary for them, the prospect of suffering or the prospect of dying are not great choices, and when a patient feels like those are the only choices...well, it stinks. I am so sorry though...I know the pain you are feeling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda661 Posted November 20, 2006 Share Posted November 20, 2006 Crystle: If it's really C-diff, that alone is gonna' take alot of fighting-spirit attitude out of her at the moment until that gets cleared up. It's nasty and just makes someone feel totally awful -- she's probably got some tummy and abdominal cramping to go along with it and that's probably why she doesn't feel like eating. It's not an infection, per se, it's an overgrowth of bad bacteria (some of which naturally live in our intestines all the time, but our other intestional flora keep it's population in check) Randy already covered which antibiotics should be used for C-diff -- and those are the only ones that work, by the way (unless something new has emerged in the last 3 months I don't know about). And, unfortunately, antibiotics MUST be used to clear up C-diff. They usually start with Flagyl and if that doesn't clear it up, they go to Vancomycin (sometimes they go directly to Vanco.). Randy also covered the critical importance of hydration. My mom had hydration therapy rather than constant IV like Randy's wife....all depends on the severity I guess. It's vital, because the "runs" are not treated to try and stop them with C-diff: those bacteria release toxins into the body that you want the body to get rid of, not try to have it stay inside longer by forcing a usual bowel function. Yogurt is a good food too, as Randy mentioned -- it's got the "good intestinal stuff" in it naturally to help return the intestines to normal flora balance. Hopefully her onc. is aware of the C-diff. situation. They may choose to reschedule chemo until this is under control -- getting dehydrated is not a good thing with chemo. either. One last note about C-diff: it is HIGHLY contagious to others around your mom. One case of explosive, uncontrolled "runs" can spew C-diff bacteria for 3 feet in all directions. Very easy to reinfect oneself and those around her (especially those who are run down and may have supressed immune systems from things like stress or health issues of their own). Everything should be being kept really clean (bed sheets, clothing, any surface where food/liquids are being placed for consumption at bedside, floors, toilet, you name it) and hands washed often of anyone around her. Hope this helps, Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trish2418 Posted November 20, 2006 Share Posted November 20, 2006 I'm so sorry your mom is feeling so poorly. C-diff is so brutal that it can really take the fight out of a person. Once that problem is controlled and your mom is able to eat regularly again, I'm sure she'll be able to resume treatment. Hang in there for her. Trish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharonjo Posted November 20, 2006 Share Posted November 20, 2006 Crystle, I am keeping you and mom in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless, Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crystleshoe Posted November 20, 2006 Author Share Posted November 20, 2006 Thanks so much for all the encouraging words and i am sorry to sound like a spoiled brat. I hate so much to see her like that and knowing that i cant fix it. I am the peace keeper in the family and if something is wrong they all come to me but i dont seem to know what to do this time. Anyway on a lighter note,I went to my moms like planned to take her to chemo and called the cancer center before we left and they said she could not have chemo for now. She of course wanted to spend the day in bed and do nothing. But i told her that if she was making the choice not to fight this then i will fight for her and that she had to get up and shower and get dressed in real clothes(not a nightie). So she hemmed and hawed and gave me a hard time but i told her that i was not willing to lose my mother over something that is beatable. And that i would not let her lie in a bed and die. I told her about some of the stories i have read here and some of the wonderful things you all do and let her know that we couldnt take this lying down. So to make a long story short she got up,showerd(with help) got dressed, went to the activities room with dad and i and worked with the theapist and ate some lunch and she admitted when i was leaving that she did feel a little better. I guess i just have to be strong enuff for us all for a little while. Thanks for all the advice. they do have her on flagyl and have her drinking a lot of liquids. This too shall pass then we will be ready to fight the next battle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted November 20, 2006 Share Posted November 20, 2006 REMEMBER THE ALBUMIN. Deb gained 30 pounds in 3 weeeks from fluid retention in order toa void dehydration in ICU with this bugger. Albumin is a diuretic to help get the fluid out of her system Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted November 20, 2006 Share Posted November 20, 2006 Nicely done!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda661 Posted November 21, 2006 Share Posted November 21, 2006 Crystle: I'm so happy to hear such great news from your latest post. You're not a brat, it's natural reactions in this journey -- advocating all the side effects and symptoms of things with this can be maddening. Showering always makes you feel better when you feel generally crummy...always bolsters the attitude too....good job!!! Take good care and keep us posted. Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crystleshoe Posted November 22, 2006 Author Share Posted November 22, 2006 well today wasnt quite as good as yesterday. Mom was very tired when i got there and she didnt eat anything all day.I did her her to sit up in the chair and play a few rounds of checkers then she was too exahusted to sit up any longer. So she was back in bed. I think the thing that has me the most worried is the not eating. She is now down to 99 pounds so she has lost a total of about 36 pounds or so since this started. this c-diff seems to be really kickin her in the butt. My dad never cries and i have seen him cry more in the past month than in my whole entire life.(but that is a whole other thing that breaks my heart) oh well good day ....bad day. Ill take whatever days God gives me with her and i will cherish each minute. If anything, this disease has taught me to be more kind and patient because the person who seems to acting rude or thoughtless or distracted may be just like me and dealing with their own "stuff" . i always say that life is too short to worry about the small stuff and now i know that is true. well im off to buckle up my seat belt and get ready for the next set of hills in this crazy roller coaster ride of life with cancer. Tommorrow will be a good day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adela Posted November 22, 2006 Share Posted November 22, 2006 It is a roller coaster ride. Hug your Mom and Dad, tell her now how much you love and respect her. Take care, Adela Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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