crystleshoe Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 I hate it when someone tells me they are sorry for "the loss of your mom". It seems to me that I didn't "lose" her. I know right where I left her and I know where she is now. I do however feel like she was stolen from me. I " lose" my keys and sometimes my mind but I would never ever lose a person who was so important to me. I guess it would be weird if people said " I am sorry for the theft of your mom" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 You're still raw and anything reminding you of your mother no longer living on this planet with you is going to be painful. Try to view it from another angle, at least these people KNOW what is going on with your life, are sorry to see you hurting, and are speaking to you about it. If they weren't, you'd wonder if anyone even cared that this wonderful being that inhabited your life is longer shining a light from the same plane. I wish you peace and comfort, Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 I know that there have been long discussions on this board about what to say to a family member when someone dies. Most of us are so tired of hearing things like..."they're so much better off" and "I know just how you feel" and "everything happens for a reason." So, I feel it is appropriate to simply say that "I'm so sorry for your loss." My answer is sincere and to the point and it doesn't include all of these absolutely senseless sayings that people say when they don't know what else to say. Yes, you have suffered a "loss" of physical companionship but you will never "lose" the love and memories of your mother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 I think "loss" is a lot less offensive than other things that are thoughtlessly said. Lucie and I got to where we did not take offense at people's remarks, but were grateful they cared enough to let us know they were with us. As Becky said, right now you are reeling from the death and it is an emotional time for you. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 I can totally understand your point. And so many things that people say well-meaningly really hit me in a raw way too. But I have to admit that even though I think it is the more accurate term and I think that words like 'left us' and 'lost' are misnomers..... I still usually say, "My Mom left" or "I lost my Mom." For whatever reason my brain is hung up on saying the 'd' word. It is certainly more of a theft than a losing though, you're right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol Ann Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 I have used the term, Lost in referring to Bob's passing but mostly say Bob passed away. Carol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wyogirl Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 I really like the way you put it. It is definitely a theft!!!! LC (among other things) has "stolen" so many of our precious loved ones. But yes, "I'm sorry for the theft of your mom" would sound a little funny to people who may not be able to identify with the sense of being cheated that comes with losing someone way too soon. Peace and blessings to you. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma's kid Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 I've never even thought of it that way...I know I have said countless times (here and elsewhere) how sorry I am for your loss. I even say it when I refer to the death of my dad but you're right..they are not *lost* they were taken from us. Libby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crystleshoe Posted March 15, 2007 Author Share Posted March 15, 2007 I also can never say that my mom d***. If I have to tell someone that doesnt know I will say that mom was taken from us by lung cancer or that she passed on. Thanks for keeping me sane through all this . Maybe ill try saying that she was stolen and see what response I get. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 Loss and lost kind of works for me. At this point (5 months later) some one says "loss", I'm just happy when they acknowlege that it happened, as most people don't...it's ancient history to everyone else. For me, it's still a current event. And for me when talking about mom...I'll refer to when mom "left". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mskim Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 It is funny how the words strike us... even when I talk about my dad who died in a motorcycle accident that was at someone elses neglaegence I make it a point to say he was killed... My dad was actually the one who pointed out to me 'lost' and that he knew exactly where his dad was when someone uttered those condolences. It was funny to me then, but now I know what you mean. People mean well. Hugs and Prayers for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.