New With Questions

[sunnydays]

My mother in law was recently diagnosed with Lung Cancer, Squamous Cell, Stage 3B. To begin with they thought it was Stage 1, going into surgery they thought stage 2, came out of surgery stage 3B. They did remove the primary tumor but did say it is in the lymph node and center of the chest. She just went to the oncologist and was told she is going to begin 6 weeks of daily chemo and radiation. She does not know what Stage 3b means or the serious condition that she is in. At the same time she asks no questions. My sister in law takes her to the doctors and does not want to ask because my mother in law does not ask. My question is isn't it not fair for her not to know the prognosis with the kind of cancer. My other question is this aggresive treatment because it is the worse case scenario?

Lastly, I just want to tell everyone on this site that you are all just brave people and I hope everyone of you have a successful outcome.

[Kasey]

I welcome you, Sunny. I was dx with stage IIIB squamous too. Please let us help you through this bumpy ride you find yourself on. If you fill a profile (what we all have at the end of our posts) many here will be better able to assist you with your questions and info.

This is not the place you probably wanted to be, but all of us are welcoming you. There is HOPE.........remember that.

Kasey

[MsC1210]

Hello and welcome Sunny,

I am sorry about your mother in law's diagnosis. However, as Kasey has pointed out there are MANY survivors here and they will be very glad to answer your questions.

Keeping a positive attitude is such a help in this journey and do not listen to the statistics. Those are simply numbers and in many cases based on old and out dated information. As for the treatment, it is hard to say as people react and respond to things differently.

Please keep us posted and let us know how we can help

My best to you

Christine

[ernrol]

Sunny,

Welcome to the site. I did not have Squamous Cell, but I did have stage IV. I thought it was important for me to know everything I could learn about my cancer. I would rather know all I can find out and that way I am able to plan my treatment better. I would not want to learn from another source other then the doctors that are treating me, but that is a choice that she has to make. Keep us posted.

Stay positive,

Ernie

[Shelley (MLC)]

Hi Sunny, welcome to the site. I am sorry to hear about your mom. Mine was also diagnosed with squamous cell cencer this year. Her's is stage 4 and she has been receiving chemo for it and doing very well (see her profile at the bottom) My mom has not asked any specific questions either and has no desire to go to sites such as this. I do all the research, ask all the questions and only offer he info when she asks. If it were ME, I'd want to know everything, but I don't want to force info on mom til she's ready. Quite honestly, I think she knows much more about this cancer than she will admit. In any case, what she would hear from some medical people would not be helpful at all as many throw the term "palliative treatment" around quite freely. My mom (and I'm sure yours) are able to fight a lot harder when they think they can win. And who's to say they can't? There are so many survivors on this site that have far exceded the expectations of their Dr.s. Good luck with your mom and keep coming here with your questions. Everyone has been a tremendous support to me. Shelley

[daddyslittlegirl]

Hi Sunny,

Welcome. I just wanted to say I'm sorry to hear about your MIL. I would not push a prognosis. It may turn out to be something you (or her) doesn't want to hear. The most important thing to do is find out what treatments can be done and leave the rest to the big man upstairs since he's the only one who really knows. Hang in there.

[Judy-OK]

Hi Sunny and welcome. I was a lot like her in the fact that I did not want to know a stage or any statistics. What matters is not what others have experienced but how I feel about where I am. I believe the mind and the attitude are very powerful things in our response to treatments. I did peruse this site but for the most part these folks are pretty darn positive and upbeat. Hope things go well for you and yours.

[Liz13]

Hi Sunny,

Like your MIL, for the first few weeks, I didn't want to know anything. I was lucky, because my mom was with me and I could stick my head in the sand for a while. It was just too much overload at first and I knew any news wouldn't be good. And I wasn't ready for that yet. But as you get use to your Dx., you start looking around more. It's also helpful to have someone else do the internet research and weed out the grim statistics. I hope things get better soon. Hug, Liz

[Tom K]

About 6 weeks after surgery, I was also diagnosed with cancer in the lymph nodes in the center of the chest. I was devastated by this new diagnosis. I was also offered aggressive treatment similar to your MILs and was told it was for curative intent. When my doctor told me it could still be cured, I felt a whole lot better and became an active participant in the fight. The treatments are not easy. The radiation to the center of the chest caused serious esophagusitous and combined with the chemo, it made eating a real chore for many weeks. I was anemic and exhausted. BUT, knowing that I was fighting for my life and that I could realy win this fight made me want to continue with the treatments. In fact I was enthusiastic about going to chemo and radiation. I distinctly remember being very, very disappointed on the one occasion my chemo was canceled (because I was so anemic).

The point of my story is that somebody should ask your MILs oncologist what is the intent of the treatment. I am sure, once she hears they are going for a cure, she will be much more engaged. If her doctor does not indicate they are seeking a cure, get a new doctor.

Please encourage your MIL to come to this site and read the stories of other survivors. I found that reading all the stories of the many real people here that have won the fight was inspirational and immensely encouraging.