Jump to content

I don't know what I did


Recommended Posts

Well, I have been contemplating writing this post for months now - and I am putting it in the grieving column because I am grieving in a way over lost friends. Not lost to death, but lost for a reason I do not know and sometimes that hurts just as much.

There were a few people whom I became close to on this board, people who helped me and whom I helped through our struggles.

For whatever reason, they have chosen to no longer have contact with me and I am very hurt and puzzled. I have sent them PM's regarding special news they have posted etc. and get no response.

If I did something wrong, I wish people would just be forthright and tell me - I don't know what I have done to deserve the "cold shoulder" and it hurts badly.

I just needed to vent...

Link to comment
Share on other sites


I can identify with your post -- not from people on this board particularly in my case, but from others in my life who have seemingly left me in the same manner over the last months. I thought we were friends too....helping each other....and poof! they appear to be gone, and it's as if I am being a bother to contact them anymore......

I've come to know that it's my own sensitivity to my circumstances, however, and not something they are deliberately doing to avoid me. Still hurts me, no doubt about that, but it's coming from me -- they are still there for me, just not the way I expected and seemingly "needed" them to be...that's all.

To express and accept unconditional love comes without strings. Just because I expect my friends to react to me in a certain way doesn't mean they don't love and care about me -- I've come to accept that it's OK if they don't do what I expect, when I expect it.....that they are in my life and thought fondly of by me is enough.

I'll admit that I too was rebuffed on several occasions by folks on this board in harrowing times. Mine and their rough times were going on at the same time....I offered much private support and never was taken up on it. Was OK though; was enough for me that I offered and knew I was there if needed by folks who are really strangers to me other than words on a computer screen.

Bottom line: to care about others within ourselves is enough and what counts. What others do in response really doesn't matter when it comes to caring unconditionally.....I know we all want to receive such things back and we do get it back: in those moments we give such caring, we are giving it back to ourselves at the same moment.

I hope this finds you well and helps somehow.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

You are not alone. I sure thought I was but I see it happens to others too. Last few months have made me feel like many of my friends are slipping away and I don't know why.

I just want to tell you that I never knew you as well as some of the others do but I repect your for the strength you have shown and your support of others. You are a very special person to this board. Please don't ever forget that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


I have never been one who has written a lot of pm's , but I am very aware of your presence, and think of you as one of the very special members of this family. Sorry, you have been hurt. Just want you to know there are folks here who care about you that you may have never been aware of before.. :D



Link to comment
Share on other sites

((((SHARYN))))) I just can't believe this is happening to YOU!?!?! You of ALL people have offered so much support to everyone here.

We may have moments where we don't always agree with one another from time to time, but it shouldn't cause people to be hurtful. I remember being on some very heavy meds for some time and those meds made me a person that even I didn't know who I was. It's aweful to have that happen. Now that I am off those meds, I feel much more like the Connie I have always been. Maybe these people are going through something of the same. Who knows?

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Your a very caring, supportive, kind, etc., etc., person and I know you have always been a very sincere and honest person as well.

Sometimes we have to move on and gain strength from others who REALLY CARE and understand us.

((((((((((((((((((SHARYN))))))))))))))))) Your GOOD PEOPLE, Don't you FORGET THAT!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites


Someone as sweet as you should not be feeling so down! You have always been such a great source of friendship and support on this board. I just can't imagine any one intentionally shunning you, for any reason! Although you and I don't PM, I've always considered you a friend. Like Connie said, some times people just don't feel well, physically or mentally, and may need a little space! I'm sure you did nothing wrong!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

First off, I'm sorry you feel this way. It's a stinky feeling.

I'm not sure I have any word to help you feel any better (guys always want to fix things) but there have been people in my life that for whatever reason drift off. I'm sure in other peoples lives I've been the one who drifted.

Either way, I can tell it bothers you and that stinks.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks to all of you who have taken the time to respond, it DOES make me feel better. I have heard from one of the people whom I thought I offended in some way, and I am hoping that we can put this misunderstanding behind us. As far as for the others - oh well, maybe they weren't the people I thought they were anyway. Who knows?

Thanks so much for all your kind words...

Love, Sharon

Link to comment
Share on other sites


all I can say is

You may have done too much for those

people and they don't know how to

say ''Thank you''

I find in life that two sayings are

missing from everyday life;



Thank you

so easy, but people don't use them


Never had your experience on the forum

but had it continously in life for the

last four years, people that called

themselves friends, take all they could

from me and just go without ''Thank you''

and only showing again to take again.....

took me a while to learn to stand on my

own two feet, it hurt a lot but it made

me stronger.

Two kind of people in life

the giver

and the


the giver usually get hurt along the

way, you got hurt, you will get over it

and you will be stronger.

Just stay the nice person you are

and don't wait to vent when you hurt.



Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.