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moms birthday is coming up


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I looked at the calendar today and realized that my moms birthday is next Sat and was struck by the thought that I hadnt got her present yet and at the same instant was hit by the reality that I didnt have a mom to buy a present for this year. Last year she was in the hospital but she was still here for us to celebrate her day. How will I ever make it thru the holidays? Sometimes my family just continues on as if things havent changed and I feel like I am the only one still crying to myself in the car and in the shower or anytime I have a few minutes to think of how much I miss her and still need her. Does anyone have any ideas on how we can still celebrate her day(and the holidays) and not let the sadness overwhelm us.

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I'm so sorry this snuck up on you. Seems like things like that happen to me all the time.

I don't have any great ideas of what to do, just a caution of what NOT to do. Mom's birthday was just a month after she died. I tried to bury my head in the sand, didn't talk to my brothers, or mention it to anyone. It messed me up. Now I wish I had gone out to dinner with my brothers, or something, and celebrated her life. I was just too muuh of a coward this year.

Blessings to you as you go through this week.


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Guys are such fixers...so you asked for ideas...

What did mom like?

My mother liked gardening and fixing things around the house herself.

So I took the week off and did just that. It was still sad when I stepped back and saw all the new plants and flag stones etc and I couldn't show mom, but at the same time I felt close to her doing work like she did work.

When the holidays come, I put mom's wine glass on the counter and pour some wine in it, liek she's there with me...because I really would prefer to do holiday meals like we used to...and that's me letting her know that.

And then I have my moments during these times where I am just uncontrollably sad...but mom sees how much I loved and missed her.

But if there is something she loved...maybe you can derive the same enjoyment and feel connected to her.

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Thanx so much you guys. I think I have decided to write my mom a letter and tell her how much I appreciate all of the life lessons she taught me and how much I miss her and all the other things i wish that I could have told her. Im going to attach it to a balloon and let it go at her grave. I am going to do this all alone because I want it to be just for her (and cuz I hate to cry in front of other people).

Nick... great idea to do something she loved. She always made crossstich quilts for a babys first birthday and there are a few babies who wont get one this year so I think that i am going to finish the ones she started for them and put her "made with love from Mimi" tag on them. I hope that she will guide me as I havent done cross stitch before.

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