peebygeeby Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Hello everybody, and a happy holiday to you and your families. My significant other, Hank, has been recently diagnosed. This new situation is slowly but surely seeping into our minds. Hank has had his first round of chemo, just three days ago, and has experienced little side effects, only a little bit more tired than usual yesterday, today he feels quite his normal self. So far, I believe that the biggest issue for us has been emotional. We have all, every one of us been going through our lives knowing that one day we will die. We never know from what or when, but we know that sooner or later it will come, and we don't worry about it, we just keep go about or normal daily activities and keep on with our lives. Now, a new situation appears in our lives that tells us that our days are numbered. I guess my question is this: When, if ever, after this diagnosis does one settle into a stable mindset, like the one that existed prior to this diagnosis. Will we ever again be able to put this diagnosis on the mental backburner, and just get on with our lives in a relatively normal manner ever again? I have found over the past couple of weeks that I have come through sort of a mental transformation. At first, I was totally panicked, and afraid. I was consumed with fear and sadness over this situation constantly every day. I am still fearful and sad, but to a lesser extent than I originally was. Will this diagnosis continue to become easier to deal with emotionally as time goes on? I hope it will, and I look forward to your replies. All the best, stay strong, Gail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandraL Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Hi there. I think we all adjust to a new "normal" the best we can. Even when you get no evidence of disease news like I have, I do not have too many minutes yet where the cancer thing does not cross my mind. But I am still a relatively "new" survivor. I will be interested in longer term survivors thoughts on the matter. Thanks for posting this question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Don't let the Cancer run your Life! Run the Cancer out of your life. The emotions run the range. For a couple of weeks until youadapt to this new "normal" it will be crazy!! Appointments new doctors strange drugs Etc. It is all very new. Whenyou settle into a routine things kind of go back to the way they were. You do what ever You want while on treatments. My Wife and I traveled SHe worked for a little bit when she was feeling up to it. she repainted the inside of our house while on radiation. Granted it is only 1300 feet but she did most of it! She took Art classes later on at a local community college. She lived her life the way she wanted not the way the cancer dictated.. Live laugh and love enjoy it to the most. Remember yesterday Cherish today and Pray for tomorrow!!!!! L:ove Hugs and Happy Easter!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patti B Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Gail- Ditto what Randy said. We have to still live our lives, no matter what. Even though I am Stage IV, I refuse to give in. Is it always something on my mind?? Of course it is!! Do I worry with each headaches, cough or pain??? Of course I do. But I have found it has gotten better since my initial diagnosis. Back then, I was frantic. Now, as my husband and I were saying yesterday, chemo has become a routine thing that I do. And where in the beginning, it was the first thing I thought of when I woke in the morning, and the last thing I thought about before I closed my eyes at night, I find that sometimes I don't think about it until I am making my morning coffee. Doesn't sound like much, but to me it is!! So hang in there, girl. Enjoy your life with Hank to the fullest. We really do never know when we will leave this earth - so live it up with no regrets!! Hugs to you and Hank - Patti B. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Welthy Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Gail, Of course you went through a stunned period of time after the diagnosis! It feels like a 2 x 4 to the head for awhile and then you are thrown into all kinds of treatments and medications. In our case, we had surgery recovery from the biospy and oxygen added to the mix. It's a very confusing time and you really have to dig deep to keep it together. Then it becomes the "new normal" or the "roller-coaster" that everyones references. Your life will never be what it was, but you adapt and live life as best as possible. We continued with our usual activities for as long as my husband could do them, despite being tethered to an oxygen hose. He golfed once a week or so and had his portable unit with him. Your world gets smaller but, as my husband was fond of telling me, "it is what it is." We were always grateful for all the years we had with each other before diagnosis. I remain grateful. As others have mentioned, you begin to take all the treatments, doctor visits, scans, etc. in stride. You will find that this diagnosis will deepen your relationship in ways that you never thought possible. We went into full fight mode and kept our game faces on most of the time to protect each other from our own fears about the future. Have hope -- that is the biggest word of advice I can give you. We never gave up hope that my husband could continue to fight the beast. It's a strange new world where you have one foot in reality and one foot in the world of hope. Best wishes to you both. Welthy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fillise Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Gail, it will probably never go back to exactly the way it was before LC, but then all of the events in our lives change us in some way or another. You do develop a new routine that will seem more "routine" for you as time passes and that may help to restore some of the equilibrium you seem to have lost. We wll went through it in the early stages of the diagnosis and treatment. The trick seems to be to find the balance so you can accomodate treatment and the "new normal" but also continue to live your life. Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peebygeeby Posted March 24, 2008 Author Share Posted March 24, 2008 Thankyou all for your thoughtful and honest replies. I guess that as you all call it, "the new normal" will have to be accepted as our reality from now on. But, it is so hard. I just hope that we are still able to continue doing the things we so very much have enjoyed over the years for some time to come. The fight has just begun, and I am feeling overwhelmed. I don't really know what Hank is thinking, he is'nt talking much about it. All I can be sure of at this point is that he's fearful and sad. The days to come will prove his will to fight this fight or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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