I have never properly introed myself

[bugno92]

Hi There,

I have posted a couple times but never intoduced myself. My real name is Robyn and Im from CT. I am caring for my mother who has stage 4 lung cancer with mets to brain and adrenals. She has been MY inspiration through this and has not once complained. She was diagonosed on Sept 17, 2007. She only has me and my sister (who does what she can), but I mostly do everything. My mom is not receiving anymore treatments. She is stable and able to care for herself. I am supposed to go to Florida next week for 4 days to do a race. I am feeling guilty that I am going but I made plans months ago to go with a friend, so I really can't back out unless my mom gets worse. My sister and husband have promised to take good care of my mom while Im gone, but I feel guilty that I am going. Has anyone had a simialr experience? I guess what I am asking is do you think it is okay for me to go?

[dadstimeon]

Hi Robyn-- There is no reason why you should not go or why you should feel guilty. You mentioned that your mother is stable and able to care for herself as well your sister and her husband promised to take good care of her while you are gone. Unless something changes for the worse then you should go. I'm sure your mother would want you to go, if it was my daughter I would want her to go. Good luck!

Rich

[atlanta1]

You should go - as you mentioned she is stable and will be in good hands. Caregivers need breaks too!

[Muriel]

Go! There's no reason to believe that she won't be ok while you're gone and, as others have said, you need to take care of yourself too.

Muriel

[Barb73]

Hello Robyn,

I am glad to meet you.

Should you go to Florida? As others have advised, unless something happens to stop you, leaving is a good thing.

Caregivers can become hostage to their own sense of "always being there." (This is only natural.)

Your sister and her busband have promised to take good care of Mom.

Go, enjoy, and get some new input.

Hope always,

Barbara

[bugno92]

Thanks to all of you for your responses. You guys are all so great and understanding.I just want to do what is best for my mom. But I also want to go to Florida and I guess I was feeling guilty for feeling that way.

[Patti B]

Robyn-

As a survivor, I can honestly tell you that I would want you to go. I do not want to see my family changing their lives overwhelmed because of what I am going through.

So go, have fun, take some much needed time for yourself. Take lots of pics to share with mom when you get home!!!

Hugs - Patti B.

[MsC1210]

Robyn

As long as your Mom is stable and taking care of herself on her own, there should be no question about whether you can/should go to Florida for 4 days.

Caregiving is a tough job and you need to look out for your own health and sanity as well. If you don't take care of your own needs you will not be able to care for Mom when/if she needs you.

Hope this helps

Warmly

Christine

[SandraL]

Hi there. I agree with all here. Your mom would absolutely want you to go. So pack your bags, go and have a wonderful time. And good luck with the race.