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"Prolonged Grief Disorder"


Treebywater

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http://health.msn.com/health-topics/art ... =100242833

Check the link above for the story, please.

So apparently, "Prolonged Grief Disorder" is now going to be a psychological affliction. Something visceral in me reacts to this, but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe there's something to be said for the chance for people to be 'treated' after a loss.

Still... It seems to put a timetable on the appropriateness of grieving and that just hits me in the wrong way altogether.

Any opinions about this here?

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Val, thanks for posting this article. I think grieving is a life long process for some of us. I don't necessarily consider it a "disability" but I do know that grieving can definitely transform a person. When I look back to find the person that used to be, before cancer, loss and grieving, I sometimes find I'm no where in sight. Who I used to be was forever changed in February, 2002, when Dennis was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Honestly, I don't think that person will ever reappear. Am I happy? At times. Am I depressed? At times. The one thing that I miss the most about myself is being carefree. Don't misunderstand, I've had a lot of problems in my life but a part of me was still carefree. I miss that! Did grieving for the love of my life cause me to have a mental disability....not sure.

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Val,

I oftentimes have to wonder who decides and how it is decided what is NORMAL in the grieving process. I myself have found comfort in knowing that I'm not alone in my pain and grief at this point ( nearly 3 1/2 years) after I have lost my husband. I think grief is like anything else, there are no two set of circumstances alike. There are various reasons why some people recover and move on faster than others. I guess I am one of the slow ones, but I think I know why and it has nothing to do with a mental problem. Mine has to do with my own individual set of circumstances and where I was in life before Mike's death. I was left with no job, no money, severe health problems of my own , financial worries, etc. etc... I'm just using this is an example . I'm sure others have their own set of circumstances, but I do believe it helps to move on if you have all the tools and circumstances to do so. I resent someone telling me I shouldn't be grieving or not moving on fast enough. Guess this is a sensitive subject with me. Thanks , Val. Yes, this hits me the wrong way too.

Hugs,

Sue

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Wow, heavy subject.

I am very fortunate in the I have been a glass half full, life is a wonderful gift type person my entire life.

I am still very sad about Earl, and I miss him every minute of every day. But I don't think I am still grieving as such. It will be 5 years on 8/18.

Also, I am very fortunate to be blessed with good health and enough money to live a nice life.

I can not ever be upset with anyone that is still grieving. Until we walk in their shoes we could not possible judge. But I do think that if 'grieving' continues for an extended period of time it probably should be classified as depression.

Sue, the circumstances of your life right now have maybe added to your sense of grief. I wish there was something I could do to help you.

A friend of mine told me that every morning as she brushed her teeth she looked in the mirror and said "I will be happy today". I don't do that, but I do have an expectation of being happy. Maybe I am just a cockeyed idiot.

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So apparently, "Prolonged Grief Disorder" is now going to be a psychological affliction. Something visceral in me reacts to this, but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe there's something to be said for the chance for people to be 'treated' after a loss.

Still... It seems to put a timetable on the appropriateness of grieving and that just hits me in the wrong way altogether.

Any opinions about this here?

I saw your post on facebook a few days ago and while I have so much to say on this- I didn't think it would fit on FB! LOL.

I agree with you. I happen to think it's ridiculous to label grief a psychological affliction...treating the feelings and disorders that extreme grief may trigger, is one thing...but labeling grief a disorder in and of itself with a timetable and I will go further and include the standard phases of grief = negligent on so many levels.

The way we grieve is as individual as we are. Our grief is measured by the closeness to the person lost, the type of relationship, the life situations we were in when they passed and whether or not life issues were addressed before/after the person died. It's all so different.

Depression can be situational- we all have it at one time or another...once it goes beyond sadness and grief and into self destructive behaviors- it isn't grief anymore...it becomes an affliction we can then treat.

I will grieve my entire life in some way or another. I grieve everytime I see others my age with parents, when my kids are sick , when I am sick, when I need advice or just miss the unconditional love and support only parents can give their children. When bad things happen when great things happen- just the alone-ness I have felt in losing a large family in just 3 years.

I will grieve their absence my entire life- I won't fit into a timetable or those standard phases- but that doesn't mean I have an "affliction" or a psychological disorder. I know joy and happiness and I am engaged in this life....I just go about it much differently than I did before.

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Wow, great post Katie. You are so right.

I guess I agree that there shouldn't be a timeline placed on grief, even if it stretches into years, but it is good that maybe there will be more attention paid to the fact that grief can be debilitating and cause physical pain and symptoms too....maybe more doctors will be aware of their patients who've lost loved ones and question them to be sure they are grieving in a healthy way versus a way that is starting to be damaging to them. I think part of it has to do with the fact that many of us live so far from other family members. Whereas years ago we would've all grieved for a lost loved one together, talked things out and taken as long as we needed while sharing the burden of grief, nowadays a lot of people are alone or almost alone in dealing with their pain.

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Hmmm......interesting topic. I do believe that there can be dysfunctional grief. I know that I have always felt my grief has not been "abnormal", in that I am capable of still doing the things that need to be done etc., and continuining with life, even if it at times I feel in the depths of despair if I am on a down cycle of my journey with my grief. I don't think it's just a matter of a certain time period being indicated as the period within which one should appear outwardly coping. But I do think that there are other indicators that may suggest if an individual could require more assistance with coping.

Perhaps some of it lies in how we define "grief"? My grief over the loss of my Mum is just part of my identity now. It cannot be separated out from the rest of me.

Jana

xxx

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