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WHAT CANCER HAS TAKEN FROM US.............


Calintay

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I THOUGHT SINCE I AM SICK AND REALLY FEELING AWFUL AND BLUE WE CAN START A THREAD ABOUT WHAT CANCER HAS TAKEN FROM US. I KNOW CANCER HAS TAKEN MANY MANY TOOOOO MANY FRIENDS AND FAMILY MEMBERS BUT WHAT IS IT THAT YOU ARE MISSING ABOUT YOUR LOVED ONE(S)?......MY MOM IS STILL HERE THANK GOD BUT YET WHEN I AM ILL

I MISS MY MOM TAKING CARE OF ME. SHE USED TO PUT HER COLD RAGS ON MY FOREHEAD, COVER ME UP WITH A SHEET AND ALWAYS MAKE ME SOUP AND SEVEN UP. SHE USED TO HELP ME GET THROUGH AND ALWAYS SEEMED TO EASE MY MISERABLE FEELINGS. I ACHE, HURT AND OVERALL FEEL LIKE SHI* RIGHT NOW AND DANG IT I WANT MY MOMMY! BUT NO INSTEAD WE GET TO TEXT MESSAGE EACH OTHER WHEN I AM SICK I HATE IT!

I KNOW MANY PEOPLE HERE DO NOT HAVE THERE PARENTS OR LOVED ONES AND I KNOW I AM LUCKY, I AM JUST BEING A BABY

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You are not being a baby. You are sorely missing the warm, loving touch of your dovoted Mom.

I am going to be 75 (and a great grandmother soon :D ) and still think of my mother, who has been gone for many years.

She was my fortress. I could call her, see her, and get advice. She knew how to calm the waters of doubt, anxiety, and could just plain listened. She was a very strong woman.

May you have your Mom for many, many years, and text messaging is still "being there" in a sense. Technology can help us give and receive support.

This online community is a wonderful example of that. I have never met one of members here :( , and yet, I know they are family :D .

Sending you a (((BIG HUG))),

Barbara

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Heidi, you defintely have permission to want and need your Mommy when you are sick. Hope you are better soon.

What and who do I miss from Cancer? I miss Aunt Katherine, my Mother's sister and first surrogate mom when I was only a few months old. She got to be my mom for only four-and-a-half short years but those years contributed greatly to who I am today. We reconnected when I was a young teen and that connection continued through adulthood until she died. She is the one who answered by questions and always accepted me for who I was.

I miss my friend Jim. I can't shop a Ross, Marshalls or TJ Max without thinking of him. He taught me to shop off-department stores lol. It's time for Fantasy Fest and Jim would be up to his elbows in last minute preparations for his entry in contest events and for walking the parade. He was an incorrigible procrastinator but always turned out a gorgeous costume. I would go and take his picture each year and then find a frame to match that year's color. The framed pic would be among his Christmas gifts from me each year.

Judy in Key West

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Most of all, I miss my sister, who died 20 years ago at the age of 28 from leukemia. She left behind a 7 year old daughter who has had a hard time ever since she lost the main person in her life. My niece would have been a different person with the guidance she would have had from her mom. Her death also devastated my mother, who has never really come back from it, so cancer took her from me too, in a way.

As for me, cancer took away my confidence in my own health and well-being. I miss the days when I thought a headache was just a headache and a mole on my ankle was just a mole. Right now I'm dealing with a little of acid reflux, but of course, the first thing that came to my mind was the big "C". My doc's first thought was heart disease, and while we've already ruled that out, I was relieved when he was talking about heart disease, because I was dreading cancer so badly.

I'm doing fine, and I'm living without the things cancer took from me, but it's still not the same.

Cindy

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  • 2 weeks later...

I miss my wonderful husband who passed last December just four months after LC diagnosis. I miss our past and most of all the future we had planned. I miss his gentle ways, his humor and his support. I miss being "we". He was taken too young by this insidious disease.

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I miss deb and Glad she aint here cause she would surely give me hell for selling things right now!!!! (Except her fave China pattern!!)

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I miss seeing the laughter in my husbands beautiful blue eyes when he would play a practical joke on me. Usually something that involved a bug of some kind.....I hate bugs and he just loved watching me run all over the place trying to get away from one. I miss it all actually.....every precious moment. I wouldn't even care right now if he came and dropped one right in front of me!

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How can I decide what it has taken that I miss most?

I miss my mom who Lung Cancer took 24 years ago. I miss the security of having a mother. I miss her honesty and her love for me and my brothers, the kind of love that only a mother can give.

I miss Johnny with every part of my being. I miss his smile and his silly jokes and the light in his eyes. I miss the songs that he sang and the touch of his hand, I miss the way he loved me. I miss my best friend of this life time and beyond. Above all I miss the way he made me feel. He made me feel loved and special and he gave me a self confidence and laughter. I miss the silly little names that he had for me. I miss his laughter and the tears that he only let me see. I miss being part of a person who made me whole, I hate feeling like only half a person but without him that is how I feel.

There have been so many more. My dear friend Carol , Johnny's sister in law. My friend Sharon who was married to the pastor in French Gulch. I miss so many of our friends here. Too many to list but the ones who stand out in my mind the most are Dean Carl and TBone.

Like Cindy said too. I miss my peace of mind. I miss the security of having confidence in my own health. I miss not being afraid of every little ache and pain. I miss the trust that I had and lost because of Johnny's treatment and lack of it.

Every day of my life I find more things that I miss. Most of the time they are small and I don't dwell on them but they are always there.

Dispite all those things that cancer took, it gave me something back. It gave me a sense of purpose, it gave me a determination to speak up when I see something that I think is wrong. It gave me more compassion and so many wonderful new friends, especially here on this wonderful board. Above all it gave me a stronger faith because I had to search so hard to find it. It gave me a relationship with God that I so sorely needed.

Cancer has taken so much from all of us. My greatest wish and my greatest prayer is that someday soon it will not be allowed to take anything from another human being.

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I miss my brother-in-law Frank who's bowel cancer came back in his bones with a vengeance. He was a classy gentleman who fought his battle with dignity right to the end and never gave up.

I miss my sister Liz who passed last year from Multiple Myleoma just 2 hours after my Husband's 62 birthday. She was a much loved Wife, Mother, grandmother and sister who fought her battle for 1 1/2 years.

But most of all I miss the carefree feeling of all of the tomorrows that I never questioned were there but realized that sooner or later it was a lesson I would have to learn, I just wish life hadn't initiated that fact with a sledge hammer.

I do know that I have developed new values to a life that I so easily took for granted, and try to remember each smile, caress, bout of laughter and more, and also try to ignore that nagging little worry about what tomorrow may bring.

I have and do follow so many people on this site that show me glimpses of the great depths and highs that human love can go through and people can survive and realize that I am so fortunate that Ron is approaching his third full year of survivorship and that I have much to be thankful for as well.

Sandy

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WOW! I loved reading everyones responses. It is so heart warming and touching. Cancer is a beast and has affected so many people that it just hurts. I thank you all for sharing your memories and stories (some of which I cried, really hard).

I am much better been better for about a week now and my daughter is just about better and my son is doing great still :D

Thanks everyone!

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