marisa Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 CT BRAIN SCAN There is a large mass occupying the right temporo parietal lobe. Evidence of enhancemeng. Considerable surrounding oedema. Evidence of mass effect. Effacement of suici. Some compression of the right lateral ventricie.No other focal lesion seen in the brain. No abnormality seen within the vault. CONCLUSION: There appears to be a large metastatic lesion in the right parieto temporal region I went over to my doctor with the results. we get them within an hr or so in australia. He said that it is from the blood stream (very fast) because the primary in my lung would have only started 6 to 9 months ago and I've had the headaches for a few months so it travelled pretty quickly. I had an oncologists appt for tomorrow but when I got home they had called anc cancelled till next week. Spoke with my doctor for an hour and a half today... this disease is going to kill me and it looks like at least it will be fast. Marisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michellep Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 My heart is breaking for you dear one. I'm sending extra prayers your way. Please let us know how your appt goes next week and what your treatment options will be. We are all here for you anytime you need us. ((hugs and prayers)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marisa Posted November 9, 2009 Author Share Posted November 9, 2009 Hi Michelle I was told that it may not even be treatable at this stage and even if it is I will choose the path less travelled. I'm not going to go for any more opinions, I've already seen a couple then again next week with the onco who will inform me if it is even treatable. Quality of life is important to me.. not quantity and I believe death is just another plane of existence. I'm really ok with all this... just scared of pain but the doctors have assured me that I won't be writhering in agony in a hospital bed. There will be meds available. One thing I do worry about is the possibility of a seizure but I was also told that one is not really aware of it until you come out of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michellep Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 I completely respect your choice of the path less traveled route and quality of life. Looking back on my husbands journey I wish we had done that and I too will chose that route should the time ever come. Please come back and let us know what happens at the doc appt and how you're doing Marisa. My thoughts are with you.....you are a strong wonderful woman. ((hugs and prayers)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 (((Marisa))), I'm just so so sorry that your disease has progressed to this point. My heart is breaking for you and the tears are streaming down my face. You are such an inspiration in the way you are thinking this out and you appear to be at peace with whatever is to be. Not having been in your situation, I don't know if I could ever have such courage.. I guess a person doesn't know until it happens to them . This decision has to be yours. Please keep in touch with us and let us know what your doctor has to offer and what your final decision is.. In the meantime, I want you to know that you will be in my prayers. Hugs, Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patkid Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 Dearest, I want to post my admiration for your wonderful attitude and your willingness to share it with us. I will hold you in fervent prayer and highly treasure your peacefulness. It is a gift. Pat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
recce101 Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 Quality of life is important to me...not quantity and I believe death is just another plane of existence. I'm really ok with all this... I'm 100 percent in sync with you on that, Marisa, but in the interim, who knows what might happen? Much Aloha, Ned Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyjohn Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 You know how I feel. I did reply to your email. Just know that I am here whenever you need to talk. My love and best wishes with many prayers are sent your way. Love Lillian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patkid Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 I really like what Ned said: "Who knows what may happen?" Stay open to God's Plan and possible changes in your situation or thinking. Ned, you are very much appreciated. P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marisa Posted November 10, 2009 Author Share Posted November 10, 2009 That's exactly what I am doing.... staying open to Gods plan. It's his decision on the decisions that I make in my estimation. I pray for guidance to do the right thing constantly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruce u Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Hi Marisa We have been talking for the last while so you know I feel. I just want to again say how very courageous you are and have been all through this painful process. Just know that we are here to support you any way we can. Take care friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Marissa the fight and courage you are showing right now, brings to mind 2 people also, Dean Carl and Carole Hammett! They both have a lot of info on dealing with this mentally and physically also. This was a Dean Carl original Poem he wrote!! Many of us here remember Dean Carl.Many newer members mabe don't.Dean was one of our very supportive and inspirational members here and was blessed with much wisdom.We lost Dean a while back but his wisdom still exists here in the Path Less Traveled Forum.This is a poem he wrote himself back in March2004.Cancer! Oh, how we fear that word! I say to you, "I have cancer" And I watch you, refuse to hear. I say to you, "I have cancer" And I watch you, bury me with your eyes. Yes, I have CANCER. Please, Please hear the word. But do not lay me in my grave, At least, Not just yet. Oh, I know this disease Will someday take my life. The chances of that are, Shall we say, Rather high. Yes, I know that which will take me, From this world. But not today! But then again, That's all I've ever had. Today. And to tell the truth, (which I've been known to do at times) That's all any of us ever have. Today. So today, I think, I'll get up early, And watch the sun set fire to the sky. Today, I think, I'll tell my wife, "I love you", at least a hundred times. Today, I think, I'll find a way to laugh so hard, I'll give myself a stomach ache. Today, I think, I'll go to the cliffs above the ocean And ask old man Ocean what he knows that I don't. Today, I think, I'll climb down into the abyss, And spit in the Devil's eye. Today I'll do so many wonderful things. And those I don't get done today. I'll do tomorrow when tomorrow becomes today. Yes, I have cancer Yes, I will die from it someday. But not today. Not today. Prayers and Hugs every and each day to you!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michellep Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Ohhhhhhhhhhhh Randy.......Thank you for posting this! And Marisa....I'm sending more prayer your way dear one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marisa Posted November 10, 2009 Author Share Posted November 10, 2009 Oh Randy... I hadn't seen that poem of Deans. It has brought tears to my eyes. He was such a wonderful man! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marisa Posted November 12, 2009 Author Share Posted November 12, 2009 Hi everyone I'm going to request a hall pass because I won't be around posting for a few days... (maybe lurking a bit) because I have alot of organisational things to do... Will copy and passte this in there too.. Marisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michellep Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 Take the time you need dear one....my thoughts and prayers will be with you....just post when you can so we know how you're doing ok? ((((hugs)))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fillise Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 Mairsa, I will be keeping you in my prayers. You know we love you and are here when you need us. Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaminkw Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 Marisa, I can't believe I missed this thread. I hope you are still lurking. I want to tell you that I so admire the grace and courage you are showing in the face of the rapid progress of your disease. Please take care and know that all of us here will keep you in our hearts. Keep us update as you can. Judy in Key Wes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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