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introduction and plea for help/


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Hi, not sure how to do this or where to start.

I am not a carer as such neither do I have cancer. My partner, the love of my life is stuck in australia due to health. she has just had a major heart op and found she has stage 2 lung cancer.I cant get out there due to lack of funds and it seems we may never see each other again, she is week from 3 sessions of open heart surgery in the last 10 days and now this. I am a mess but trying to provide support with online chat and phone calls which are financially ruining me. I feel guilty when i need sleep or have to try to do housework which i find i have no desire or drive or energy to do. I have 3 young children from my previous marriage who live with their mum and i see every other weekend and they force me to go on. My love has a teenage daughter in aus with her from a previous marriage. I have not had any support, and am seeking some. any suggestions graciously welcome.

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Hi Tony,

Welcome to LCSC,I am sure you will find the support you need right here,there are so many buddies here with a wealth of experience only too willing to share with you,to ease your burden.

I happen to be a stage two Lung Cancer myself,and doing really well,as are so many here,so dont give in to despair,take one day at a time.I am sorry given your financial position you cannot be with your partner,which I know would ease your mind,I think you should accept the situation as it is and focus on the fact,your partner is making progress towards getting better.Following her surgery,she will need some recovery time,as her medical team put together an action plan for treating her LC,in the meantime,your daily communications with your partner will give her the encouragement she needs to get back into full health.

It is good you have the support of your children around you,they need you,as you them,putting on a brave front for them may be difficult for you,but with patience and the improvement in your partners health,you will be able to cope.

I wish you and your partner all the very best,and hope it will not be too long before you are both re-united.God Bless.

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Eric cant thank you enough. your words and from someone who has had your experiences, and reading your story made me cry but gave me strength and hope. such a small word isn't it hope, but lord knows how much that word means to me, how me like others here and allover the world no matter how they suffer, hope is a big help. It is so good to know and hear from someone who proved a doc wrong. You give me hope, courage, and help me feel less alone and defeated.

For taking time to help and for your impact I thank you.

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Hi as u may guess i am tony's partner yes have had heart ops and is how found my cancer had been ill for while but down to other things as had few medical conditions now just had more tests and now i am down as stage 3 so lest we know now and yes my love tony is so hard being so far away from u but with this internet we are still so close. and i am sure we will find a way to be together before well u know would like to thank u for ur reply to tony and i wish u all the best of luck with urs eric god bless from sue x

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Hi Sue,

Welcome to your new home,it is such a pleasure to meet Tony's partner,it really does show in his post he loves you very much.I am so pleased to hear you have been through your heart operation successfully,now to get on with making a full recovery.

Sorry to hear about your re-staging,there are many hear have similar and are doing just fine,the hardest time for me in my experience was the weeks following my dx,I sailed through all my chemo's and surgery with only the slightest of discomfort,but it was the mental side of my experience that was the hardest to deal with,each morning I woke up I had this dreadful imagining,that this disease was going to kill me,and not in the too distant future.I had found a great deal of support from family and friends,not forgetting the welcome I received from all the buddies here at LCSC,eventually with the wonderful passage of time,my fears began to subside,I now woke up thinking about yesterdays post I sent in here,wondering what replies would I receive,hoping that my big mouth hadnt caused anyone some offence (I do have the occassional urge to get on my soapbox) I am a bit of a frustrated politician,wanting to fix all the wrongs on Planet Earth.

Lung Cancer has been a rain cloud in my life,but it came with a great big silver lining,I really can say I have enjoyed my two years survival time better than all my previous years prior to my dx,the things I have done since, and the lovely people I have met,not forgetting the places it has taken me to,that I would have missed out on had it not been for my LC.Also the polyp in my bowel that would have killed me were it not discovered by my PET scan for my LC,yes I have been blessed.

I am an Advocate for Roy Castle LC Foundation Org,I have been an invited speaker at one of their conferences recently in Manchester,been filmed twice,appeared in newspapers in the UK,old big head has just lapped up all the attention(its the thespian in me,just love to show off).

Sue dont think this disease is the end,think of it as a new beginning,a new type of life,but has ample oppertunities in it to have fun.There will be times when you are feeling down,I can recommend a visit here to the Morning Air,the guys and gals are all one can short of a six pack,Bruce,Becky and Annette and many others,they will chase your blues away,no probs.

I wish you well as your treatment plan is put into operation,and hope you and Tony will be back to-gether ASAP.God Bless.

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I had to go look for your other thread--I thought, I know I've met this guy before lol. Well yes, and welcome to you Sue as well. A dx of 3A certainly shouldn't prompt a response of 13 mos. What's with the 13 anyway, why not 12 or 14. It's just crazy. I'm 3B (Dr W on cancergrace says I would be 4A in the new staging system) and I've survived 3 yrs and almost 4 mos. So you tell them, so there!

Good luck and keep us posted. Hope you will be reunited with Tony soon.

Judy in KW

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I wanted to say a huge and heart felt thank you for your kind words, and encouragement/

I know when Sue and I read them together and saw your stories and that people live longer and prove doctors wrong with stage 3 it gave us a massive boost.

Dana the sense of humour re "tell doctors so there" was wonderful made Sue smile something rare at the moment, cant thank you enough.

Bud thanks your story is an inspiration, I love that you got back on your bike, I am an ex army triathlalete but got lazy when i left, various reasons.

Judy Eric, everyone thanks a million

We will both be here for a while.

My regiment never gave up, you folks didnt, and neither will we, your support is invaluable,


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Sue and Tony,

It's early and I don't have a lot of words that will readily come to my brain to type out, so let me try to just spit out the important thing you need to know.

No matter what odds you are given, someone has to survive and there's nothing saying it can't be you. Take my word for it, I was diagnosed stage 3A over eight years ago. Believe it or not, treatment is different now than it was just eight years ago, better odds, but the statistics are old ones.

Get your affairs in order, everyone should, cancer or not. Then, LIVE. Be aware, but don't stress on it.

Best of everything to you,


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