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What do you think of this enclosure?


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Hi everyone,

Well I am getting ready for the "big" wedding on the 22nd, a total 184 guests. Only 66 are ours though, the rest are his family and his parent's friends :) Woo hoo, how exciting. Well not really :? Kind of hard to get excited about the wedding, but we already discussed those issues with the shower ;) I learned from that experience that if I appear happy, my mom is happy, so that is what I will do! :D

I already had wedding programs done pre-cancer. They are popular in California, we never heard of them from NY, so some of you might think wedding programs are as odd as my parents and I thought they were.

I am thinking of having the following printed and inserted into the program b/c I don't want my mom to be put on the spot with having to back away from people; I dont want her having to explain to everyone why she should not touch; and I don't want guests to get insulted that she cannot touch.

Do you think it is ok to include the following? I know it might be tacky, but then again, could I live with myself if I didn't do it and people did not take caution and cause an i nfection?

Here is what I want the enclosure to say:


Dear Family and Friends,

As you may know, Marsha Weiss, the Mother of the Bride, is bravely undergoing treatment for her battle with lung cancer.

Please understand that as hard as it will be for her to resist, the Mother of the Bride is under strict orders from her doctor not to shake hands, kiss, or hug anyone because of a weakened immune system.

The Bride and Groom also kindly request that if you are fighting a cold or infection, please remain at a distance from the Bride's dear mother. The Bride and Groom will gladly pass on all well wishes.

The Weiss and Scheff Families appreciate all of your prayers and thoughts.

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I guess my first question is did you run this by your mom? Maybe she would be embarrassed or not want everyone knowing she's ill. You could have her not participate in the receiving line or do some other things if she objects to the program.

I don't think what you've written is tacky. You should be some of the things I've seen in wedding programs. :roll:

Good luck on your special day.


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As long as you run this by your Mom first, and she agrees, then I think it's a good idea. I think it's very thoughtful and it could save your mom from unnecessary misery from a cold or infection at this time. The wording is fine. No one should be offended. Also, maybe mom could carry a small purse size bottle of Purell hand sanitizer with her (everyday, not just for the wedding). I use that all the time at work and i really think it's responsible for my not catching any colds in months! When your immune system is weak, every little precaution can help. Hope you have a beautiful wedding!


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I have already told you I like it. Kudos to you for protecting your Mom from undue sickness... and shes greatest treasure during this time when you should be selfish ... We had to close my Nanas funeral of to the public as Mom is well known with her work with charitable orgs and Nana was the Postmaster for years but we had too! There could have been 400 people sneezing all over her!

Bless you and your Mom I will pray that God protect her from all nasty germs!

Your friend


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hanks for the input! Some of my friends thought it was a wacky idea, others a great idea. My mom knows and approved. At first she was not thrilled with the idea, but then when I said to her well everyone is going to want to touch you b/c it is human nature to shake hands with those you meet or hug those you see again, especially someone with cancer, and that she would have to explain to each and everyone why it is best for her not to touch, she liked the idea.

I had shortened it and took out the "if you have a cold or infection" stay away, but my bridesmaid made me put that back in b/c she said that is the most important, this way people will know to stay away.

Another alternative is for my mom not to be in the receiving line, but she didn't like that. She wants to be "normal" that day.

Another important thing was for her to be under the "chuppah", it is what you see in the picture I have posted. At Jewish weddings, the parents stand under the "chuppah" with the bride and groom, it is supposed to bring good luck and symbolize family. If my mom is too weak to stand, which so far she is not, the rabbi said I can have a chair for her under the chuppah :)


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I think the insert is a good idea.

It wouldn't hurt to have purell hand sanitizer extras kind of around....

If your mom wants to do the receiving line, she could wear gloves and a surgical mask against infection -- at least she would be there, and her eyes could shine out....

Lots of purell hand sanitzer around..... and a couple pair of nice gloves for your mom. The surgical mask for the receiving line may be too visual, but it would work. It would also serve to remind those who hadn't paid attention that your mom is at risk for infection.

ENjoy your wedding, and I hope your mom has a wonderful time!!



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Guest canuckwebgrrl


Seeing as your Mom is OK with it, it's a great idea!

I think MaryAnn's suggestion of having some bottles of Purell there is pure genius!

Enjoy :D

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Guest Karen C

Andrea - since your Ok'd it, I think it's a great idea, to have the insert. And bottles of purell. But the idea I like the best is to have her wear dress gloves! It would be charming and protect her, too!

Can't wait to hear how it all goes.

God Bless,

Karen C.

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- Just a flip side possibility -

I would HOPE that "well-meaning" guests would pin down your mother with all kinds of questions and mar HER joy in the day with the constant reminder of the "what-ifs" and repetition of statistics, ya know?

Wonderful that you have a "Plan B" for all possibilities - almost like planning two weddings, huh?

May it all go beautifully and smooth...


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Funny that many mentioned gloves and Purell....

Yesterday my parents met me for my hair and make up test run.

My mall-phobic dad actually stayed the entire time, amazing what cancer can do to a spouse ;) Well my mom touched the counter when she put her glass of water down and next thing I know I hear my dad going "wash your hands wash your hands" and she wips out the sanatizer. I was like wow, and I thought I was bad!

I had to leave right away after hair and makeup test to get the enagement pictures (part of package, never done, had to do or lose money). Well my parents trotted down to Nordstroms and sure enough, my mom got black silk gloves!! :):):)

Thanks so much for all the input. I really appreciate it. I now need to find the strength in myself to not cry that much :) My mom does not want it to be about cancer.

I wanted to get the lung cancer ribbon pins for 50cents each and hand them out with the flyer--i figure it would be money well spent for charity, but she did not want it, she said it would be overkill on the cancer. I guess she is right. I will do it for another occasion :)

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I love your message, especially since your mom has agreed, and LOVE the gloves idea. I wonder if there's a polite way to add something to the message about not barraging your mom with questions or talk of cancer, as she wants this day to be about happier things? (well, something more tactful than that) :roll: It would also show that she doesn't want the spotlight. People might be so touched they want to tell her they're concerned about her, etc... This would let them know this isn't the time or place. Not sure if this can be done politely or not, just thought I'd throw the idea out.

I'm wishing you a day completely full of joy for you AND your mom!


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