Angie Daughter of Bill Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 Hi gang...........I'm having a rough day. My Dad goes tomorrow for a brain CT to see if he has mets in his brain. We will follow-up with his oncologist on Thursday morning. I am trying so hard to be positive, but it seems every appointment has been another let down for us. What started out with what we thought was rheumatoid arthritis has snowballed into stage IV lung cancer with heavy lymph node involvement as well as spinal mets. My Dad started out saying that he would have NO treatments, not even surgery.(If surgery were possible) Then I talked with him.........I was being soooooooo positive and hopeful........he then decided that he would have one lung removed. (As we thought he could per his pulmonary Dr.) We met with the oncologist the next day only to find out that he is facing an inoperable situation. I feel like I gave my Dad some sort of false hope...........but without hope, what is there??? I know, DeanCarl has told me not to borrow trouble, that trouble always finds you, but I can't help being soooooo scared about his CT scan. Sorry for all the whining, but right now you guys are the only ones that I have to whine to. (Well, I have my hubby, who is wonderful, but he must work) On top of my Dad's illness, my dishwasher went "ka-put" yesterday and as I am typing my washer sounds like it is about to come through the wall! When it rains, it pours.............o.k. the pity party is over. Blessings to you all!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 Hang in there, Angie. And vent here all you want or need. I believe life's "little" normal problems become larger when we are dealing with lung cancer. Lucie and I have to remind each other frequently that "this is normal in life", "this is not a mountain, but a molehill", and try not to get overwhelmed with the normal living. Best to you and your family. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 Angie, Sounds like your father is thinking about treatment options if he was willing to have a lung removed if possible. Keep up with the options that are given by the oncologist and do more research here and on the Web for your dad's particular "brand" of cancer - chemo cocktails, trials, etc. As for the raining/pouring...I tell myself that when the crap starts rolling downhill we are all just more "sensitive" to life's crises (yeah, I know, doesn't work for me, either). Dishwasher for you, big leak under the kitchen sink for me yesterday - the bright side? Well, my kitchen floor got mopped and I didn't have to haul a bucket in...LOL ...as for false hope, you shared information you had on what you had been told were the "facts". Regression in staging DOES happen, your father may end up a candidate for surgery.... There is no "false hope", only Hope. Keep up a PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) - all things ARE possible, even those that seem improbable! Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angie Daughter of Bill Posted February 10, 2004 Author Share Posted February 10, 2004 Don Thank you for your kind words. You're right, the household things are only "mole hills", but they do seem bigger right now. Another thing that is bugging me........my husband and I had to tell our children last night about my Dad. The kids were asking "Why is Papa going to the Dr. so much?"........"Why are you not coming to school to eat lunch with us?" They knew that something was going on. We told them my Dad has lung cancer, but did not go into details. They know cancer all to well. (Lost two family members in the last 3 years to cancer) My girls are ages seven and eleven............please, everyone say a prayer for my girls, too. Don, thank you again.........I didn't mean to start in with all of this stuff.......but I guess I didn't get finished in the first post. Have a blessed day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
niececola Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 Hi Angie, Saying prayers for you! Sorry that things are so tough right now, hang in there. We all know what you are going through and it is hard to stay positive the whole time, that is why you have us! Denise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeanCarl Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 Angie, It sound like your Dad is going through the exact same type of thing I went through during my "diagnostic phase". It seemed like each bit of news was bad. It got to the point I didn't want to go anywhere near a doctor 'cause I was going to hear something bad if I did. So tell your Dad from me .... Bill, I've been where you are. And not too long ago (October). It was a month of (insert your favorite explicative there) I NEVER want to go through again. If I have any suggestion it's this: Try to take things one day at a time. And don't be so ready to make any decisions until all the facts are in. I know getting your hopes up just to get them knocked down is REAL hard on the ol' psychie but getting an accurate diagnosis is critical for you to make the decisions you are faced with. Angie again, As Becky said, there is NO such thing as "false" hope. No matter what the final diagnosis is there is hope. Even should your Dad choose no treatment there is hope for the rest of his life, however long that may be. And should he choose treatment there is hope. There are people right here on this board who have survived every brand, every stage, every met, every "you name it" this disease can throw at a person. And yea ... quit borrowing trouble. The interest rates are BRUTAL! Dean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shelliemacs Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 angie, my dad said the exact same thing until the doctor told him to at least try one round of chemo and if it fails, then reevaluate your decison. So my dad has had his first round and were waiting 2 more weeks to have a scan and see if anything happened. just one try..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen335 Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 Angie, Please don't be sad. You might want to get a second opinion for your dad. It seemed the pulmonary doctor was optomistic about your dad having surgery. I know it may sound time consuming and to have to go through maybe the same tests again sounds terrible but it is worth it. Maybe your dad is a candidate for surgery. I wish I would have had the opportunity to get a second opinion before treatment. They made it sound like I really needed to start immediately. I now know why. It's sad. Please get a 2nd opinion or even 3rd if necessary. Hope this helps. Praying for your dad and you... Blessing Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenl Posted February 11, 2004 Share Posted February 11, 2004 Hi Angie WOW. Your situation is almost exactly the same as what we went through with my mum. When we thought the diagnosis might be stage IIIb, she was unsure as to whether she would opt to have the lung out or not, but had pretty much decided that's what she would do, and then we were given the stage IV!! It feels like the decision has been taken out of your hands, which can be hard to deal with. Mum has decided to go with some aggressive chemo, and fortunately, has pretty minimal side-effects (she doesn't LOVE it, but its not too bad!!). Your dad will make the decision that is right for him, and whatever that may be, it is important that he knows he has your support. I wish you all the best. Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berisa Posted February 11, 2004 Share Posted February 11, 2004 Angie, I am sorry to know what you and your father is facing. The time being just diagnosed and waiting is the most terrible time I have experienced. Hang in there. Keep us posted and say whatever you want here that make you feel better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angie Daughter of Bill Posted February 11, 2004 Author Share Posted February 11, 2004 Thank you all so much! This is such a difficult time, but with all of you sweet, loving, caring people, it makes this journey a lot easier. I don't know what I would do without my 2nd family. May you all have a blessed day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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