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Don’t want to continue


Kamoto

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To not choke from the esophagus cancer, I started chemo on Monday.  The dry heave, excessive smells, low food taste are wearing on me one week in.  Not sure this is worth it.  Five weeks of this to ruin my Thanksgiving And Christmas.  What if I don’t get another holiday shot.  lung cancer with tagrissso and this one are wearing me down.  Sorry to be so pessimistic but I don’t deal with being I’ll well.  Kindly

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Kamoto

I felt like that last xmas it got really hard to swallow anything towards the end of treatment I didn't have cancer in my esophagus but it was in my lymph nodes so ended up with severe esophagitis and terrible pain whilst swallowing I took a small amount of morphine before I ate anything and it really helped, keep going we all get like this I know I have a few times even over the last few weeks, but I did manage Christmas Dinner last year and im so glad I persevered because I managed to eat with my family even though it hurt to swallow the morphine numbed it enough to do it and we had a great time, 

So please don't give up because you will have plenty more good thanksgivings and Christmas's this is just a bump in the road ,

All the best Take care Justin 

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Kamoto,

None of us deal well with being ill. And cancer coupled with miserable treatment side effects yield a special kind of ill feeling. We understand.

I can only speak for myself but say I endured misery during treatment but my 18 years of life after treatment exceed misery by a wide margin. I hope and pray you have the same outcome.

Stay the course.

Tom

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Like Justin, I had terrible esophagitis after radiation. I couldn't eat or drink, and I couldn't get effective pain management for a while (long story). 

I basically lived on Ensure or Boost Soothe for a few months. I never knew what I could tolerate from minute to minute. People recommend smoothies but I can't stand them. You need a bland diet for now, and if all you can manage is ice cream, then so be it. 

My palliative care doctor helped me so much with pain management, but they do more than that by helping manage side effects. And THC can also help minimize some side effects too. 

When I was so sick, I was miserable and didn't think I could survive, but here I am almost 3 years later. Try to take things one day at a time, even one hour at a time. If your oncologist gave you a prescription for anti-anxiety meds, I recommend taking them. They're sort of standard for chemo patients. Hang in there. 

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So sorry to hear of your troubles with Chemo! I felt like I was going to die when I had chemo. Such terrible side effects! After communicating with my doctors and ending up in ER twice, my doses were adjusted, and pain and symptom management doctors joined my care team. It was much better after that but was still horrible. It all passed and hopefully it killed errant cancer cells that were not visible!

Hang in there, I lived on ice cream and occasional Ensure drink for a long while. I was given excellent nausea medication, pain medication,  "magic" mouthwash and steroids. In the end I gained so much weight because I started to eat a lot more all day (due to steroids), which I am still trying to lose (almost 5kg). You got this!

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Thanks for the encouragement.  I was in the waiting room the other day and a stem cell replacement patient was there.  Poor guy had seven months of chemo and countless replacement therapy cycles.  I got a sense of my pain isn’t nearly as bad so mind over matter.  Two weeks in now, no hair loss and swallowing is fine.  As you say, five weeks of hell for years of health.  I’m trying, just had a mental meltdown.  Love everyone’s encouragement.  Kindly

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It's a rough road sometimes, physically and emotionally. You've been hit with a lot, yet you keep going. Have all the meltdowns you want. You're a hero no matter how many you have.

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Kamoto,

You're hanging in there and you must keep your eyes on the goal.  As you so aptly said, "years of health"...I would add years of life with your loved ones, friends, sunrises, and all the things you find beautiful about living.

Lou

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