Andrea Posted March 18, 2004 Share Posted March 18, 2004 Has anyone else experienced a realization of now being extremely sensitive to all jokes that deal with cancer or any medical issue? We were on a break waiting for the judge and people were talking and the clerk innocently said "If I ever find out that I have an incurable cancer, I am going to divorce my husband, cash everything out and travel Europe " I immediately like an idiot said "well you never know if cancer is incurable, you have to investigate, don't ever give up before getting a few opinions". And then I said "go to Europe now, by the time you find out you have incurable cancer you most likely will not physically or mentally be able to travel and enjoy yourself." It was such an innocent comment she made. Yet I took it so seriously. I then said being embarassed "don't mind me, lung cancer is like every other word out of my mouth or in my mind". It is true, I am thinking about lung cancer and this board all the time. The thought is as routine as it is for me to brush my teeth daily I even seem to find the need to educate my friends on the absurdity and statistics of this beast Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathy Posted March 18, 2004 Share Posted March 18, 2004 Andrea, Yep, feel the same way, and I have had outbursts as well. I seem to be able to control it now, I have also tried the educating part and some people just dont want to know, they live their nice cushy happy lives, heaven forbid if something like cancer should creap its way in and mess everything up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted March 18, 2004 Share Posted March 18, 2004 Ladies, It comes from having a 'raised consciousness". I feel the same way about blonde jokes now my daughter is 15 and platinum blonde naturally. She thinks they're funny. It's all a matter of perspective, and entirely natural. I think no one with any humanity would hold it against you. Funny how perspectives change, though..... MaryAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeanCarl Posted March 18, 2004 Share Posted March 18, 2004 I think for me it has a lot to do with who is saying something rather than what is being said. I've had former co-workers (I was a bus driver) joke with me about having to use my scooter and have had no problems with it. I've joked here and other places with cancer survivors about the disease itself. But when somebody who obviously has NO idea of what's going on says something "funny" about either one it pulls the old trip wire and off I go. Dean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted March 18, 2004 Share Posted March 18, 2004 Andrea, comments like that have a deeper meaning, like she and her husband are obviously having problems. I know we are all sensitive to cancer, but I also think we should do exactly what you did and share our knowledge. As far as I am concerned, you were right on target with that lady. Too many people whisk through life and don't do the things they really want to do -- always thinking there will be time. We know better -- and I think part of our responsibility is to make people aware. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hebbie Posted March 18, 2004 Share Posted March 18, 2004 Andrea, I do the same thing. People make a harmless comment about something, and because LC is first and foremost on my mind, I immediatly have to make a comment.......pretty much anything people say can somehow be related back to cancer. I do the same thing w/ nutrition....I think people run the other way when they see me coming these days out of fear of getting lectured about what they are eating......"you know.....you shouldn't eat those raisins alone -- you should eat them w/ some other foods or your blood sugar level will spike".....or "that instant oatmeal isn't as nutritious as the Old-fasioned oats"......Want to hear my most recent favorite outburst? One of my co-workers yesterday walks into the kitchen w/ a Dannon Light Yogurt containing Aspartaime. I looked at her and said "Don't eat those -- Aspartaime turns to formaldihyde in your body". She looked at me in HORROR. But I didn't stop there -- I went back to my desk, did a Google search on Aspartaime, and sent her a website about the dangers.....I am a big annoying pest and drive my family crazy, but I can't help it -- it just burst out of my mouth!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea Posted March 18, 2004 Author Share Posted March 18, 2004 Heather you crack me up. I would do the same thing, we would be fast friends Although I gotta admit, I am not the best at nutrition, battling weight issues my entire life which I am trying to get under control. After reading your post though, I spilled out my coffee with sweet n low and got a new cup with just a little sugar. I agree wholeheartedly with what Dean says, it depends on the source of the jokes. Those suffering can and should joke. It is the ignorant people, who don't realize they are ignorant, that I want to punch. Same thing with chubby jokes, it is fine if I make them; but if it comes from a different source it just is not good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathy Posted March 19, 2004 Share Posted March 19, 2004 I guess no more dannon light yogurt for me.. Thanks Heather Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 19, 2004 Share Posted March 19, 2004 Andrea, Some friends and acquaintances who try to tell me that I’m going to be all right, irritate me. The idea of a dangerous and frequently fatal disease makes people uncomfortable and they try and make it go away. When my wife was nearing the end, if she mentioned dying, most nurses in the hospital would say something to deny the obvious. I feel like the seriousness of my condition is not PC or polite to acknowledge. Perhaps they are correct and I should not poison conversation with negative statements such as mentioning the usual course of SCLC. I am obsessing over the subject and talk about cancer too much. Sometimes I feel like the woman who had “ I told you I was sick” engraved on her tombstone. About ten years from now, I hope I get a bunch of “I told you so “ remarks from my optimistic pals. Dan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted March 19, 2004 Share Posted March 19, 2004 I logged in once when I got past the notice that this board was under construction (by the rebels) and not available. Its like the book " Animal Farm" where the factions write differen messages on the barn. I hope I don't get the Napoleon treatment. Dan again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teresag Posted March 19, 2004 Share Posted March 19, 2004 Isn't humor an odd thing? We can laugh at the somewhat dark side of lung cancer and death, i.e., the thread on Debaroo's Dad's wake, but an offhand thoughtless joke can make us very angry, too. I've enjoyed becoming something of a "crusader" for lung ca awareness at my School of Nursing. Surprising how ignorant even health care professionals can be. And that's what it is - ignorance, of course, not mean-spiritedness. I think it's right to take those opportunities to educate people about lung cancer. These are "teachable moments." People do listen and learn if you use a short, pointed message, as Andrea did. More power to you, lung ca awareness crusaders! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted March 19, 2004 Share Posted March 19, 2004 When my dad was in the hospital, I overheard nurses etc making fun of a patient in the room next door. I was so humiliated for that woman and I remember the blood draining from my face. I wondered what they said about my Dad and I wanted him out of there fast. I know that humor is one way people (even nurses) deal with difficult situations. I do it myself. But somehow that day, I was so in despair over it, since the woman was in such a vulnerable situation, near death, and those were her caregivers. Now as a patient, I don't know how to NOT think of that moment and wonder what is being said about me and how that will effect my care. Elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathy Posted March 19, 2004 Share Posted March 19, 2004 Thats is completely unexcusable behavior Elaine.. Did you by any chance see a patient advocate about that.. I cant believe how unprofessional those nurses were. I dont blame you for being upset.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teresag Posted March 19, 2004 Share Posted March 19, 2004 Absolutely. That kind of behavior should be reported, first to the nurse manager, then higher up if need be. Patient advocate is also a good one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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