Another Battle

[Guest]

My name is Judy & last year I had 1/3rd of my rt lung removed & the diagnosis was successful--no more cancer. I'm 56 yrs old & have been smoking since I was 15. Last fall my father died; my brother is a heroin addict & many dysfunctional stressess occurred & I picked up the habit again. I now have new growths on my bronchial tubes & lymph nodes & am undergoing testing to determine what the doctor plans to do to help me with this...I'm terrified & angry with myself for being so stupid! It's like I played Russian roulette with cigarettes & now I feel paralyzed with fear, anger, self-pity, etc. Has anyone else made this type of mistake & if so, how have you handled it? Believe it or not, I'm still battling smoking & my philosophy now is, what's the point?

[ginnyde]

Judy,

What's the point:

1. You don't have a diagnosis yet, so it may not be cancer.

2. If it is, there are many people here that receive treatment and continue to live useful lives for many years.

3. You are important person and your family and friends would like you around as long as possible.

Judy, it is very, very hard to stop smoking, but it is very, very important to try as hard as you can to stop. Get whatever stop smoking aids that you need to help you.

Welcome to our family, we are here to help and support all of our members.

Ginny

[Donna G]

Hi Judy , welcome. Get some help, perhaps an antidepressant. Being told you have lung cancer is plenty of stress by itself and you tell us of several other huge stresses. Forgive yourself, get help, hope we also can help . Now keep us posted. Donna G

[betplace]

(((Judy)))

First off sweetie, as we are fond of saying around here, just because you smoked doesn't mean you deserve this wretched disease! Just because you fell off the wagon does not mean you caused it to reoccur. The beast probably would have reoccured anyway, it is very common for that to happen.

So on to your question, what is the point? By again quitting smoking, you will give the Doctors a much better chance at curing you this time around. You might quit beating up so hard on yourself! All excellent things to happen. And guess what Judy? If you can't manage to quit, it's OK! You will take some flack from family and friends, but you are still OK! Be a little gentler to yourself my dear.

I found going to a hypnotherapist a real help to me in my quest to quit smoking. The cost was about the same as the other methods, but it was all upfront. And it was virtually painless and without the usual cravings you deal with.

Good Luck Judy, where in Florida are you?

Blessings

Betty

[gerbil runner]

Judy, be kind to yourself. Nobody chooses this disease.

Major anti-depressants may be needed to help you kick the habit. And cancer treatments are hard enough on the body without the stress smoking will add to your body.

[Guest Billie]

Judy,

I agree wholeheartedly with Betty. Quit beating up on yourself. It serves no purpose and does you no good. So many of us on this site have been through the same feelings and emotions you are going through right now. I know it's easier said than done, but you must make up your mind that you really want to fight this disease and survive. I am 54 and had smoked for probably 30 years. I was a good 3 months into chemotherapy when I finally admitted to my doctor that I could not quit the smoking. I broke down and cried about it in his office. I told him I wanted to quit but could not do it on my own. He was so understanding ( not judgemental). He prescribed the Zyban for me and told me to use the nicotine patches at the same time. I am not going to tell you that it was easy, because it wasn't. It has now been 9 weeks since I quit and I still want a cig, but I do not crave them anymore. But, the main reason that I think it worked for me is because I decided that I could and would be a survivor. None of us "deserved" this, including you. Please lean on the people here for support whenever you need. It really does help.

Billie

[tess]

Judy, and anyone else wanting to quit smoking, PLEASE!! Check out this website. If anything can help you this is the place: www.whyquit.com . There are many articles to read and you will learn how to deal with this terrible addiction!! YOU Won't be sorry!! Also the Zyban really does take the cravings away. Its amazing too!

Tess

[Guest KellyB]

Judy, Do not beat yourself up over an addiction, my Dad smoked for 40+ years at his diagnosis. I have never felt an ounce of anger toward him. Do your best to quit with help and I agree antidepressants will be helpful, take one day at a time with your tests, we are here for support and guidance if and when you need it Take Care Good Luck.....Kel

[DeanCarl]

Judy,

First off smoking is NOT a habit. It is an addiction. And there is a huge difference between a habit and an addiction. As long as you have the idea that smoking is just a habit you're going to have trouble with it.

Secondly, I would suspect that you starting smoking agian had nothing to do with those new growths. Even if they are cancer they probably grew from some micrometasis from your original tumor.

So it seems to me the thing to do now is to quit beating up on yourself for things you really don't need to and get about the business of getting whatever is there treated.

Dean

[karen335]

Judy,

I agree with Dean. It is not a habit, it is an addiction. It is hard to quit after smoking for so many years. I smoked for 38 years and really enjoyed it, sad to say. But it is what it is. I was fortunate to be able to quit cold turkey January 10th, 2003 and have not touched one since. I had never ever quit once in the 38 years. I had a doctor who scared the daylights out of me at that time, when he asked me does LC run in your family. He had NO bed side manners. He was very cold hearted, it was as if he had given me a death sentence on top of a diagnosis. It was scary and really made me put things in order and say to myself, do I want to live? Well, yes I do. I am so happy I was able to quit. Don't beat yourself up about this. Everyone handles it differently and it is easy for some and hard for others. Just do what you feel you have to do. I will be praying that it will be easy for you and that before you know it, you will have quit...

Blessings,

Karen

[MO_Sugar]

I agree with what has already been said. You can quit when YOU decide it is time to. It's hard, I still want one once in awhile but I am NOT going to give in. I would rather have a little more time here, thank you very much.

If you need help in quitting, ask your Dr. for something or use the patch. For me, I had to quit cold turkey for it to work. If I would have "cut back" I would still be smoking. One day at a time just like any addiction is all you can do

Good luck and prayers for strength headed your way.

God Bless,

MO

[chloesmom]

I'm with the rest of the folks here--don't beat yourself up over this--it is an addiction, but please, please do something good for yourself and quit. There are all kinds of methods and aids out there, keep trying till you find what works for you.

My surgeon said the best possible thing I could do to safeguard my health is to continue to not smoke. I'm coming up on 11 months now smoke free, and although I have some hard times during some days (still!), every night when I go to bed I'm glad I don't smoke any more.

Stay with us here--this is a wonderful place and good luck to you.