Andrea Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 What else can we relate to lung cancer? We can write a book or take our comedy show on the road!!! We lost our case, there was so much drama with a deadlocked jury, it is too long of a story to bore you with. But end result was Boeing was found to have retaliated and Plainitff was awarded $500,000. However, there were no punitive damages awarded. So $500k is a ton of money, but if was the top amount that we would be "ok" with (better than millions). So it was crappy for us, but could have been worse. My response immediately after: it is like breast or prostate cancer--it completely sucks, but not as bad as lung cancer. Meaning many many people die from breast and prostate cancer, but statistically, the chances of survival are higher than lung, so if you gotta pick one, I'd rather my mom be fighting breast than lung right now. That is how I related to the verdict---not good,but could be worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamie Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Andrea, You really are someone to listen to!!!! No matter what you always seem upbeat and optimistic. I look at your virtues, and wish I had more of you in me You are an inspiration! Sorry your trial could have been better, but you cant win 'em all right. Just thought Id let ya know that reading your posts kindof brighten me up Thanks Jamie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea Posted May 9, 2004 Author Share Posted May 9, 2004 Thanks Jamie But I am not upbeat and positive. I am a fatalist. My life was too good in August, I was engaged, Brian is like Mr. Wonderful it is disgusting, we had no major problems like a lot of poeple do financially, etc. I said something bad is going to happen, and then lung cancer did Now I see the breast surgeon on Tues and am worried. I was in a crowded elevator yeswt and I looked around and I said what am I worried about, my boobies have the same risk as theirs do. I just am nuts My mom just called me and cracked me up. Every Sunday I get bad headaches, so she jsut called and said I want you to do something for me. It sounded serious. It was "Please repeat I will not get a headache" over and over tonight. heehee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Andrea, PLEASE! C'mon...dying is dying, no matter of what. I have a close friend whose breast cancer has spread to her bones and chemo is no longer working. Right now, I don't think she would have any such thoughts of how "lucky" she is that she is fighting breast cancer instead of lung cancer. I suppose I should be feeling really lucky right now that I have lung cancer to contend with and not pancreatic like the lady I met in my oncologist's office on my last visit. She was TERRIFIED, very visible in her eyes and in her husband's. She was still waiting when I was leaving so I walked over to her, held her hands and told her that the battle is scary as hell and that she needed to remember to breathe... Just trying for a reality check here, okay? Not looking to start a feud... Take care, Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea Posted May 9, 2004 Author Share Posted May 9, 2004 I am realistic and I did say many many many people die of all cancers, including breast and prostate, etc. But no matter how many people I offend, I truly would rather my mom be fighting a different battle right now with another kind of cancer only because the Las Vegas odds of her being alive to see grandchildren will be greater..............people die all the time at any age of heart attacks, allergic reactions to medicine, influenza, strokes, all cancers, and car accidents. In my little mind, which may seem little to many, ALS is the worst disease I could ever manage based upon what I know. I consider my mom luckier to be battling lung cancer than ALS. But out of all the cancers, the statistics for lung are way lower than the rest, so if she had to have cancer, sorry, I would have preferred a different one. NO cancer is good, but I have real issues with the low survival rates for lung compared to others. http://www.lungcancer.org/champions/edu ... 0Facts.pdf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Okay....I guess I must be a PollyAnna, but here goes... I come to THIS site because the flippin' statistics are NOT paraded by face on a continuous basis, but that seems to have changed lately. Andrea, I have enjoyed many of your posts, but the fatalistic view THIS one presents is NOT very pleasant to the tastebuds. Do you HONESTLY think that those of us battling the disease want the "low survival rate" and "poor statistics" tossed at us? I know I cannot speak for EVERYONE here, but I WILL speak for myself. Can you possibly tone down the doom and gloom regarding lung cancer? Yes, the statistics SUCK, the odds are TERRIBLE, but we all KNOW that and the PATIENTS on here are dealing with that mental battle daily. I'm not asking you to sugar coat things and be oblivious to what you KNOW, but realize, we DO know the odds, the statistics and we are STILL HERE. Knowing the odds and believing the statistics is a NEGATIVE in this battle. Can you understand that? Will you try to see it from THIS SIDE of the fight? You are on the sidelines, be a CHEERLEADER, don't tell us that the field is muddy, the other team is better equipped, we are too far behind, etc. CHEER US ON! Push the POSITIVES, stop dwelling on the negatives. It's consuming you and effecting YOUR health, imagine what it does to MINE! You're a smart girl, Andrea, imagine being on THIS side of the battle and what you wouldn't want to hear... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea Posted May 9, 2004 Author Share Posted May 9, 2004 I am not going to get into any argument, or any debate. I am who I am and I say what I say and if my posts offend anyone, I can stop posting. No big deal. I just can't deal with egg shells. This is like what, my fourth go around now on the egg shells issue. To set the record for the zillionth and last time, what I thought I have been doing is creating awareness about lung cancer, volunteering and trying to be an activist because as has been discussed, more needs to be done for this disease because of the low survival. I do cheer people on and root for everyone and hope for the best. But lung cancer in general needs to be changed around. I have never once discouraged anyone. My philopsopohy has been from day 1 that each person in reality has a 50/50 chance. Either the treatment works for them or it doesn't, no matter what the stage. I don't think anyone can deny that more has to be done for this particular disease or that I am in the only one to have expressed thoughts and dismay at the numbers. I am truly sorry if my posts have effected your health. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 If your posts were detrimental to my health, I wouldn't read them, rest assured. My hair follicles, on the other hand.... It's not walking on egg shells to think of your audience, Andrea. Fund raising, awareness, etc., I applaud you for. I merely asked for you to consider the other side's feelings for some of the "issues" you put forth. It's not that I feel you should not post here, I just feel that you should use SOME discretion. No, you should NOT feel that you need to tone down EVERY post you write, but some topics you probably SHOULD re-read and make sure that what you want to get across is truly what you have written. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamie Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Andrea & Snowflake, I read both of your posts, and I know what the problem is.... Andrea, I love your "real" humor,...maybe its because thats the kind of family I was raised in. When my Dad found out that he had cancer, his first joke was about suing the tobacco companies, not because he had a valid argument, but becuause, he feels like being rich!!! Your true to yourself and others, keep being you Snowfalke, I get it too. As much as Andrea is brutally honest, shes being herself. You know shes not trying to offend anyone, but I see your side too. The truth is that this disease IS Ugly, and it does take lives, and Andrea clearly hates it. I for one know its hard to look past statistics, but when done on a humerous note, it makes it seem easier. ....Whats worse, knowing the statistics, and beating them? Or knowing the statistics, and beating them while laughing??? I admire you both, and neither of you should change the way you post. I read your stuff all the time... Lets call a truce???? o.k??? Jamie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
natalie Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 I remember that when I posted in the grieving section, I mentioned that I reserved at saying what I wanted to say for fear of scaring others or offending someone etc. In response a lot of people supportively encouraged me to say what I wanted to say. Many others said they were glad that I brought it up and that they have been needing to talk about certain things that they can't. Katie, maybe we can have a new section called "Venting" or "Doom and Gloom" that you have to sign on for? Just a suggestion, but the judgments being passed on here I don't really feel are fair. I read a pm that was sent to Andrea that would have really hurt my feelings if I was on the recipient end. We are all different, act different, feel different...I think this is a place we should come freely and not feel judged or criticized. I've been wanting to say this for a while but usually if I don't agree with someone or something, I just don't respond. I've seen Andrea get judged multiple times and I just don't think it's fair. I couldn't keep quiet about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 I think Natalie has a good idea about a new section. Sometimes I also stop myself from posting, even though I think it might be something that might benefit someone else (and not to let anyone think I am self-sacrificing, but to post might also help me) but maybe it would hurt more people, so I don't. I kind of figure that maybe some people learn to stay away from my "rants"--and I make them long so that one would have to have lots of patience to read them--lol. But there are always new people on the board. The other thing we all need to remember is this: What hurts or offends a person can not often be forseen. You wouldn't believe the things that have brought me to tears--or have made the hair on my arms stand up in frustration/anger or things that have hurt my feelings. I love you all. Elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamie Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 I second the idea for the new forum. Maybe it is different for the caregivers than those dealing with it personally, but I believe that while some info or comments can be painful for some, its also important for people to vent, rage, and hate on this disease. Jamie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea B. Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 I too would love to have a forum that was for those of us that want to rant and rave. I am going through extreme anger as I deal with my grief and I don't post for fear of offending someone. I want to feel like I can speak from my heart, but unfortunately I don't always feel that is possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 There are questions that I want to ask but I don't as I am sure they could offend someone or discourage them. So I just be quiet. Maybe the new section could be not just for venting, etc, but like an anything goes or enter at your own risk or standing on the corner shouting or no holds barred or unmentionables. There are some things I really feel like I need to know but I sure wouldn't want to give trouble or more sadness to anyone. I still appreciate the people here who speak their minds and opinions and I do not judge it. We are all doing the best we can, all the way around. Here's hoping. Margaret in Iowa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyjohn Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 We all know that statistics suck. As Becky says we all know that at any given time one of us could get hit by that beer truck. That doesn't mean that we would want to spend the rest of our lives watching it speeding toward us. There are many things that we ALL know. Just because we know them doesn't mean that we want to have to deal with them everyday. As a caregiver who lost the one I love I will simply say that it is more important to have hope and encouragement than statistics. I say let's work to change those statistics instead of dwelling on what they are. Who gives a damn what the statistics say? Isn't the final word on the statistics how they affect the individual? A very wise man told me not too long ago (Johnny,not long before I lost him) that some things are better left unsaid. I think it is time we all remember that and get back to the business of fighting the disease and giving encouragement and hope. This beast is bad enough without adding more problems to the ones who already live with it all of the time. I just posted in the General column a sign that should be in all oncology offices. Maybe it should be at the head of each of our forums. HOPE; IT COSTS NOTHING TO GIVE BUT TAKING IT AWAY KILLS! just a friendly reminder to all who forget that sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 Well put, Lily. MaryAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda Posted May 13, 2004 Share Posted May 13, 2004 Dear all, As an individual who has one mother fighting breast cancer right now and another "mother" fighting lung cancer, I felt compelled to post in this thread. However, after spending almost an hour striving to craft what I hoped was a thoughtful and clearly articulated post--I got booted off before I could hit "submit". Ah, technology... Forgive me for not having the stamina to try and re-create my post at this time. I just want to let Becky and Andrea know that I don't think they are on different "sides", at all. I can't expand on that further, right now (as I have explained above). Thank you both, though, for who you are and all that you do. You both mean a great deal to me. Melinda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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