Ann

If you found out you had to completely empty your kitchen of all contents, what are the first and last things you would toss.

This is a good one....like it a lot!

Billy Graham is now 86 years old with Parkinson's disease. In January 2000, leaders in Charlotte, North Carolina, invited their favorite son, Billy Graham, to a luncheon in his honor. Billy initially hesitated to accept the invitation because he struggles with Parkinson's disease. But the Charlotte leaders said, "We don't expect a major address. Just come and let us honor you." So he agreed. After wonderful things were said about him, Dr. Graham stepped to the rostrum, looked at the crowd, and said, "I'm reminded today of Albert Einstein, the great physicist who this month has been honored by Time magazine as the Man of the Century. Einstein was once traveling from Princetonon a train when the conductor came down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger. When he came to Einstein, Einstein reached in his vest pocket. He couldn't find his ticket, so he reached in his trouser pockets. It wasn't there, so he looked in his briefcase but couldn't find it. Then he looked in the seat beside him. He still couldn't find it. The conductor said, "Dr. Einstein, I know who you are. We all know who you are.. I'm sure you bought a ticket. Don't worry about it." Einstein nodded appreciatively. The conductor continued down the aisle punching tickets. As he was ready to move to the next car, he turned around and saw the great physicist down on his hands and knees looking under his seat for his ticket. The conductor rushed back and said, "Dr. Einstein, Dr. Einstein, don't worry, I know who you are. No problem. You don't need a ticket. I'm sure you bought one." Einstein looked at him and said, "Young man, I too, know who I am. What I don't know is where I'm going.'" Having said that Billy Graham continued, "See the suit I'm wearing? It's a brand new suit.. My wife, my children, and my grandchildren are telling me I've gotten a little slovenly in my old age. I used to be a bit more fastidious. So I went out and bought a new suit for this luncheon and one more occasion. You know what that occasion is? This is the suit in which I'll be buried. But when you hear I'm dead, I don't want you to immediately remember the suit I'm wearing. I want you to remember this: I not only know who I am .. I also know where I'm going."

The Hormone Hostage The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other! DANGEROUS: SAFER: SAFEST: ULTRA SAFE: (IN THAT ORDER) What's for dinner? Can I help you with dinner? Where would you like to go for dinner? Here, have some chocolate. Are you wearing that? Wow, you sure look good in brown! WOW! Look at you! Here, have some chocolate What are you so worked up about? Could we be overreacting? Here's my paycheck. Here, have some chocolate. Should you be eating that? You know, there are a lot of apples left. Can I get you a glass of wine with that? Here, have some chocolate. What did you DO all day? I hope you didn't over-do it today. I've always loved you in that robe! Here, have some more chocolate. 13 Things PMS Stands For: 1. Pass My Shotgun 2. Psychotic Mood Shift 3. Perpetual Munching Spree 4. Puffy Mid-Section 5. People Make me Sick 6. Provide Me with Sweets 7. Pardon My Sobbing 8. Pimples May Surface 9. Pass My Sweat pants 10. ****y Mood Syndrome 11. Plainly; Men Suck 12. Pack My Stuff and my favorite one. 13. Potential Murder Suspect Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh! ...Or men who need a warning. And remember: Money talks .... but Chocolate SINGS!!!

Such great news, Chuck. Thanks so much for giving us all something wonderful to smile about.

Dill for me, too. The only time I ever buy sweet pickles is when I'm making Cuban sandwiches.

Well...here's 5....lol Leg Arm Eye Ear Toe

Subject: Before you eat in a Restaurant. A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an organization. Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?" "Well, "he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired XYZ Global Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift " As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?" "Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent." I asked "After you get it out, how do you put it back?" "Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon. "

Brian, thank you so much for keeping us updated on our dear friend, Joanie. I am so very sorry that she is having such a time of it! Joanie's a real fighter and I know she is going to pull through all of this with flying colors! Please let her know that we love and miss her and are all saying lots of prayers for her.

Pickles.....sweet or dill????

Gals...no throwing of bras or panties allowed!!! http://www.mojoflix.com/Video/Evgeni-Pl ... -Bomb.html

So very sorry for your pain. I know how terribly hard this is for you. As time goes by, the good times will begin to stand out more in your memories and the bad times will fade. I pray that the happy memories come to you very soon.

Like Ginny, I absolutely loved the cowardly lion. He was the best. I have no idea how many times I have seen this movie. I still love it, even now! Ginny....40 lashes with a wet noodle to you! You must sit yourself down and watch this move in it's entirety!!!

Rolling In My Sweet Baby's Arms - George Jones

Jaundice

Saying prayers for Andrea's dad. Andrea...you stay positive about those little eggs! No negativity allowed. You just rest and think happy thoughts about happy things!!!

Who was your favorite character from The Wizard of Oz? How many times have you seen this movie?

You Were Always On My Mind - Willie Nelson

Want to play Song Uno? We start with the name of a Song. The next poster will post a song using at least one of the words in the previously posted song. A, And, & The are not permissible words. Do not use one word songs. Give artist's name if you know it. Let's play! I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston

I hope those of you that remember using clotheslines, as I do, will enjoy this cute little poem. CLOTHESLINES A clothesline was a news forecast To neighbors passing by. There were no secrets you could keep When clothes were hung to dry. It also was a friendly line For neighbors always knew If company had stopped on by To spend a night or two. For then you'd see the fancy sheets And towels upon the line; You'd see the company table clothes With intricate design. The line announced a baby's birth To folks who lived inside As brand new infant clothes were hung So carefully with pride. The ages of the children could So readily be known By watching how the sizes changed You'd know how much they'd grown. It also told when illness struck, As extra sheets were hung; Then nightclothes, and a bathrobe, too, Haphazardly were strung. It said, "Gone on vacation now" When lines hung limp and bare. It told, "We're back!" when full lines sagged With not an inch to spare. New folks in town were scorned upon If wash was dingy gray, As neighbors raised their brows, And looked disgustedly away. But clotheslines now are of the past For dryers make work less. Now what goes on inside a home Is anybody's guess. I really miss that way of life. It was a friendly sign When neighbors knew each other best By what hung on the line!

Really WOW now...lol! We have 420 recipes submitted as of 4:10 today (EST). You guys are all doing a great job! I know that our "nesting" Andrea is absolutely thrilled!!!

Gall Bladder

Get Ready To Laugh A Lot!! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went fishing. <><><><><><><><><><><><><> A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!" The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out." <><><><><><><><><><><><><> Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband. <><><><><><><><><><><><><> A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' "Can you read this?" the optician asked. "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy." <><><><><><><><><><><><> ><><><><><><><><><><><><><> A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them!TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!" The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?" The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving." <><><><><