Ann

Debbie, I am so very sorry for your loss.

Ginny...I missed my 25th wedding anniversary by three months, so I can sympathize with you. That was going to be such a special day for us, as I'm sure it would have been for you and Earl. Dennis bought a very special bottle of wine for us to have on March 17th. I think buying that bottle was like a goal for him. He wanted to live to celebrate that date. I am so very glad your friend is taking you to dinner. I know that day will offer you many special memories of a beautiful life together. I love the way you think about the house.

Who says customer service is dead? This girl provided good service, the last line proves it! Don't ever quit thinking or improvising when confronted by an irate customer, the following shows a good example. It happened at the Denver Airport. This is hilarious. I wish I had the guts of this girl. For all of you out there who've had to deal with an irate customer, this one is for you. An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS." The agent replied, "I am sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but, I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out." The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?" Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone, "May I have your attention please, " she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14." With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore "F*** You!". Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry sir, you'll have to get in line for that too."

10. Cats' facial expressions. 9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors. 8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds. 7. Fat clothes. 6 Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time. 5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell. 4. Cutting your hair to make it grow. 3. Eyelash curlers. 2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. AND, the Number One thing only women understand: 1. OTHER WOMEN

25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP 1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to bed. 5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator. 6. You watch the Weather Channel. 7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up." 8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. 9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." 10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo. 11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. 12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. 13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. 14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers. 15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. 16. You would like to take naps. 17. Dates with your significant other have become dinner OR movie rather than it's a given that you do both. 18. Your idea of a fun day off is relaxing in front of the t.v. 19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms or beer. 20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good crap." 21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time. 22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again." 23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. 24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar. 25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh crap, what the heck happened?" Bonus: 26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt.

Another good one, Frank. You never lose your touch!!!

I am so very happy for you! I have to echo others and comment on what an absolutely beautiful name Ella Rose is. I'm sure that darling little girl is every bit as beautiful as the name she was given. I know Grandma won't have any hesitation about sharing some pictures with us.

Loved this one, Ginny. Leave it to you to come up with the best one yet!

The Hut The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited Island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he Scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood To protect him from the elements, and to store his few possessions. One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little Hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. The worst had happened, and everything was lost. He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. "God, how could you do this to me?" he cried. Early the next day he was Awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had Come to rescue him. "How did you know I was here?" he asked his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied. It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn't Lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of Pain, and suffering. Remember that, the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground. It just may be a smoke signal that summons the grace of God. You May Want To Consider passing this On, Because You Never Know Who Feels Like Their Hut Is On Fire Today.

Too much housework keeping you way from the internet? Here are some sure fire short cuts that will have you back online in no time! Cleaning the Bathroom Simply close the lid of the toilet. Close the shower door or curtain. For the illusion of a freshly cleaned bath, pour some Lysol in the trash can. That should hold you until you finally get someone to empty the trash. Doing the Dishes If it doesn't come off in the dishwasher, run it again and again. For really stubborn crud, just throw the dish out and start fresh. An even better idea, use paper plates, plastic utensils, paper napkins, etc. Provided your family member or neighbor is taking out the trash, of course. Dusting Only do what is at eye level or below. And only right before someone is coming over! Run rag over everything quickly. (Don't even waste your precious time on the furniture polish. That would mean extra minutes away from your computer, and that is just unacceptable!) For the illusion of using those products, spray some air freshener. Laundry Find a good place to hide it! If you absolutely need to do it like you have no underwear (heck who needs underwear) wash them then stick them in the dryer. When it is time to fold them, DON'T! Just run the dryer to get out the wrinkles when you need new clothes. Then when the utility bill comes you can have a stroke! (As if it's already not high enough with all the computer equipment you got running 24-7!) Sweeping and Mopping Have your dog sweep floors with tail and lick up all crumbs. If there are any stubborn spots that require scrubbing recruit the cat. You may have to add some tuna water to spot in order to insure a thorough job. (It's about time their earned their keep!) If you do not have a dog or cat, you are in trouble! Quick! Go find one roaming the neighborhood! (Remember... Kittens are free!) Taking out the Trash If you cant find anyone in your house to take it out, try to bribe a neighbor or guilt them into it. Say you hurt your back or some other sob story. A good story might even get a few sympathy dinners out of the neighbor as well! Try not to use the same story too often as they might get suspicious. Vacuuming Call up a salesman for a vacuuming demonstration. Have him show you how the vacuum works in all parts of the house. Insist that even though the carpet looks the same, it really is different in all parts of the house. Some valuable tips for success: Don't always call same company, keep a chart and rotate. Washing the Car Move it into the garage. (Heck, you don't use it anyways. It's not like anyone is going to see you drive it!) Yard Work Raise goats for some extra income. Set them loose in the yard and they will keep the grass trimmed nice and neat. Plus they'll eat any of the debris that gets in the yard. Sell them in the winter, then you can start with a new bunch in the spring. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy ______________________________ OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime _____________________________ SHOPPING MATH A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs. A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need. _____________________________ GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. _____________________________ HAPPINESS To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. ______________________________ LONGEVITY Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die. ______________________________ PROPENSITY TO CHANGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. _____________________________ DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. _____________________________ HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT

Imagine that you walk into the world's largest ice cream shop. They have every imaginable falvor of ice cream. You have decided to order a triple scoop cone. There's one catch. Each of the three flavors must be different. What would your three scoops be?

Christine, I am so very sorry that you lost your dad. I know this must have been quite a shock for you, as he was so recently diagnosed. I can't even imagine the pain you are feeling after losing your dad to the same terrible disease that your mom has. I will be remembering you and your mom in my prayers.

Nancy...I am so very sorry.

So very glad the surgery went well. It is so much better knowing what is wrong and knowing possible things to do to correct the problem. It sounds like things should be much better now.

Kim, I am so very sorry for the loss of your mother. Please know there are many here that truly care and want to help. We are here for you.

I hope I can say what I thought after reading your post and get all of the words to go from my heart to the keyboard. I am so happy that the new flooring went over the tiles that were in place. TO most, this might not sound like a big deal but after we lose someone we truly love, we want to preserve everything associated with that love. The two of you formed a great foundation of love and that love will now guide you through all of the tough and lonely times....kinda like that tile will always be a really strong foundation for the newly laid floor.

Jim...just hang in there and let's think only good thoughts about what Tarceva is going to do for you. Oh...sending good vibes for catching lots of fish this weekend. Nothing can soothe your soul like a good day of fishing.

Teri...Although Don has been doing a great job of keeping us posted, it is so very wonderful to hear from you. It sounds like your hubbie is doing a great job of caring for you. I'm saying lots of prayers that things will become easier for you. Please update us as often as possible, as you are very missed when you're not around. Feel better.

Don and Lucie...Just want to let you know that I am thinking of both of you and saying lots of prayers.

So very sorry for your loss.

A man and woman who had been married for more than 60 years, had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. For all of these years, he had never thought about the box. But one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $25,000. He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be married," she said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll." The little old man was so moved, he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness. "Honey," he said, "that explains the dolls, but what about all this money? Where did it come from?" "Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the dolls." Women will love this prayer. Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man, Love to forgive him, and Patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. Amen!

I think I'm a dark green Firebird...probably about a 1982 model. I've got a lot of dents and dings and today, I just don't feel like I compare with all the shiny new models. But...although my engine has a lot of miles on in, I still have a lot of horespower that's waiting to be unleashed.

http://www.link4u.com/teacher.htm Please read this!!! So true!!!

Think about how you're feeling today....just today....and pretend you're a car. What kind of car are you? Be sure to include the color.