Ann

If a movie was made of your life, beginning with childhood, what actress would be hired to portray your mother?

I have to tell you that my mind and body aren't operating on the same level. It is so hard for me to know that I have now passed that big 50 mark. My mind tells me that can't be so. But, my body seems to confirm that my date of birth is correct! What really gets to me is when you have to select your year of birth on one of those scales online. Geez...it seems that I have to scroll and scroll to find my year. Mentally...I'm just a young chick in her mid thirties!

Lori...I know you will do a fantastic job of representing your mother in this appeal. You are her strongest advocate and know her situation and her needs better than anyone. Katie gave some great suggestions for you. I like to have notes, just in case I forget. I have found that rather than jotting down everything I want to say, I usually make an outline and then cover each issue. In your case, I would really speak from the heart and let them know how much your mother needs this. I'll be saying prayers and asking God to be there with you.

How old would you be if you didn't know when you were born??? In other words, how old do you feel you should be????

You are so right Cindi. Don't think anyone could have said this better than you. Right about now, I'd like to whack the heck out of something...just not sure what it might be. We've all talked a lot about anger on this board many times before. How in the heck can anyone deal with this monster of a disease, whether patient or caregiver, and not be as mad as hell about all we go through? BTW...Steel Magnolias is one of my favorite movies. I still stop and watch it every time I see it when I'm channel surfing. Right now, I'm mad because my FIL has been diagnosed with very advanced pancreatic cancer. Chemo and radiation are going to be uses as pallative care because surgery is completely out of the question. I'm so angry that my boys are now going through this pain all over again....losing someone to cancer. Their GF is 77 years old and they understand that all life ends on some note. Now, I think they're reliving their dad's death more than living with their GF's illness. Who am I angry at??? Not sure. I'm afraid to be mad at God. So...who???

Beth...I think you did a very good job of being as upbeat as possible in your post. Sometimes, it's hard to know where to post things. I'm glad I read it in the General Forum, as I didn't take it to be all about grieving.

Hey all. I have really enjoyed doing all of the GTKY questions and want to continue. It does seem that the participation level has dropped significantly and I want to make sure this is something you want to continue. I have lots of questions...just want to make sure you aren't getting too burned out with this? Please post your opinion.

This is for all the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It's okay, Honey. Mommy's here. Who walk around the house all night with their babies when they keep crying and won't stop. This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse. For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T. This is for he mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes. This is for all the mothers who froze their buns off on metal bleachers at football or soccer games Friday night instead of watching from cars, so that when their kids asked, "Did you see me?" they could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and mean it. This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp their feet like a tired 2-year old who wants ice cream before dinner. This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the mothers who wanted to but just couldn't. For all the mothers who read "Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year. And then read it again. "Just one more time." This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead. This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot. This is for all mothers whose heads turn automatically when a little voice calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home. This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches, assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away. This is for mothers, whose children have gone astray, who can't find the words to reach them. For all the mothers who bite their lips sometimes until they bleed --when their 14 year olds dye their hair green (or purple.) What makes a good Mother anyway? Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips? The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time? Or is it Heart? Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time? The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. To put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby? The need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying? For all the mothers of the victims of all these school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shooting. For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely. This is for mothers who put pinwheels and teddy bears on their children's graves. This is for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation. And mature mothers learning to let go. For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers. Single mothers and married mothers. For single Fathers, who are also the mother. Mothers with money, mothers without. This is for you all. So hang in there.

So thankful that the procedure went well. Praying that Keith's pain is under control today!

This is hilarious! I will definitely be sharing this joke. Thanks so much for the huge laugh!!!

(((((Beth))))) I've probably read your posts about 10 times now and have been trying to decide what to say. You did such a very wonderful job (as always) of putting your feelings into words. That's often so very hard to do and even harder to use words that others will be able to understand what you are feeling. I know what you are feeling and also can confirm that it's terrible. Like Peggy, I did a ton of changing around at my house. I think the first thing to go was his recliner. Every time I would enter the house, I would see that chair and imagine him sitting there. Unfortunately, most of the "chair memories" were very painful ones, as that chair was bought to help relieve the pain from the mets to his spine. My youngest son took the chair to his house. That chair has now become my son's favorite chair. He looks so much like his dad that it's hard to even see him sitting in it. I just want you to know that you and the other CGS (caregiver survivors) are never far from my heart, my prayers and my thoughts. Woow...leave it to Ginny to come up with such a fitting name for us...caregiver survivors. I really like that...having a name.

One morning the husband returns after several > hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife > decides to take the boat out. > > She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. > > He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good > morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?") "You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her. > > "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm > reading." > > "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I > know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." > > "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden. > > "That's true, but you have all the equipment, for > all I know you could start at any moment." > > "Have a nice day ma'am," and he left. > > MORAL: > Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

LOL! A friend sent me this, knowing that my roots are Southern. By the way, I'm a butter bean. Some Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes and the people that read them. If we are to ever fully understand all the star signs and the people they represent, we need symbols that all true Southerners understand: See the list below... OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20) Are tough on the outside but tender on the inside. Okras have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. You can do something good each day if you try. CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19) Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A Chitlin, however, will make something of himself if he is motivated and has lots of seasoning. In dealing with Chitlins, be careful they may surprise you. They can erupt like Vesuvius. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra. BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 - March 20) You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. You love to stay busy and tend to work too much. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you, so don't worry about it. MOON PIE (March 21 - April 20) You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. A cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and round are the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It's not going to be easy. You always have a big smile and are happy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not. POSSUM (April 21 - May 21) When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy but seems to work for you. You are a rare breed. Most folks love to watch you work and play. You are a night person and mind your own business. CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21) Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you're hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, and the bathtub to the living room. You tend not to be particularly attractive physically, but you have very, very good heads. COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23) Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in the melting pot of life and share their essence with the essence of those around them. Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards, stay away from Crawfish. It just won't work. Save yourself a lot of heartache. CATFISH (July 24 - Aug 23) Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although one's whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You Catfish are never easy people to understand. You run fast. You work and play hard. Even though you prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life, you are liked by most. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies. GRITS (Aug 24 - Sept 23) Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel though, so maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese, gravy, bacon, butter, or eggs and a good time. If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well. You are pure in heart. BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 - Oct 23) You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best, your friends and loved ones, may find that your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop for you. BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 - Nov 22) Always invite a Butter Bean to a party because Butter Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You've grown on the vine of life, and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn't have anything to do with Moon Pies. ARMADILLO (Nov 23 - Dec 21) You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle and kind inside. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms, and insects. You are a throwback. You're not concerned with today's fashions and trends. You're not concerned with anything about today. You're almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but a Possum is another somewhat kinky mating possibility.

Many prayers for a successful procedure.

Love it!!!!

I just love this, Geri. Kids always say just what is on their minds. So very open and honest!

On the weekend, I cook a lot, divide into portions and then freeze. I can pop this food right of the oven and reheat to avoid cooking after work. So I realy only cook maybe 3 times a week but reheat a lot.

So very glad that all the news was good and now you can relax. But...I have one question. When are we all lining up to deck the tech and the nurse??? Count me in on the lineup!

Carleen...I'm sending hugs and saying prayers.

1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs........and I was in the wrong one. Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX. > 2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient. Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA 3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart." Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg 4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch, the nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one. Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA 5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered..."Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive." Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR 6. I was caring for a woman and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste" the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly." Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit,MI 7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn." Submitted by RN no name AND FINALLY!!!............... 8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener". Dr. wouldn't submit his name

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2006 when... 1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses. 6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your mobile phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries. 7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen. 8. Leaving the house without your mobile phone, which you didn't have is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it. 10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee. 11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : ) 12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing. 13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message. 14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list. 15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list. AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

How many times a week do either you or your spouse cook dinner at home?

(((((((((((Erin)))))))))))))

Guaranteed to drive you nuts...lol http://www.mcsaatchi.webcentral.com.au/ ... dited.html

The Fly There once was a happy little fly buzzing around a barn one day when she happened upon a large pile of fresh horse manure. Since it had been hours since her last meal and she was feeling hunger pains, she flew down to the irresistible delicacy and began to munch out. She ate ... and ate... and then ... she ate some more!!! Finally, she decided she'd had plenty. She washed her face with her tiny front legs, belched a few times, then attempted to fly away. But alas ... she had pigged out far too much and could not get off the ground. She looked around wondering what to do about this unpleasant situation when she spotted a pitchfork leaning upright against the barn wall. She'd found a solution!! She realized if she could just become airborne she'd be able to fly again. So, she, painstakingly, climbed to the top of the handle. Once there, she took a deep breath, spread her tiny fly wings, and leaped confidently into the air. She ... dropped like a rock ... and splattered all over the floor ... The moral to this sad story? "Never fly off the handle when you know you're full of shi_."