Ann

Let's try this. A= Asparagus

You have gotta hear this. I love it Woo-Hoo. Pass the chocolate...... http://www.badgirl1.com/PMS.htm

Name one thing you would never leave home without.

The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question, ''Why didn't we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?'' I replied: I had a drug problem when I was young: I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals. I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather. I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults. I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn't put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me. I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profane four-letter word. I was drug out to pull weeds in Mom's garden and flower beds and cockleburs out of Dad's fields. I was drug to the homes of family, friends, and neighbors to help out some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline, or chop some firewood; and, if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed. Those drugs are still in my veins; and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, and think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today's children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place. ~author unknown~

R = Red Hot Chile Peppers

A memo was sent to all letter carriers to put a sheet of Bounce in their uniform pockets to keep yellow-jackets away. Use them all the time when playing baseball and soccer. I use it when I am working outside. It really works. The yellow jackets just veer around you. 1. All this time you've just been putting Bounce in the dryer! It will chase ants away - lay a sheet near them. Also repels mice. 2. Spread sheets around foundation areas, or in trailers, or cars that are sitting and it keeps mice from entering your vehicle. 3. It takes the odor out of books and photo albums that don't get opened too often. 4. It repels mosquitoes. Tie a sheet of Bounce through a belt loop when outdoors during mosquito season. 5. Eliminate static electricity from your television/computer screen. 6. Since Bounce is designed to help eliminate static cling, wipe your television screen with a used sheet of Bounce to keep dust from resettling. 7. Dissolve soap scum from shower doors. Clean with a sheet of Bounce. 8. To freshen the air in your home - Place an individual sheet of Bounce in a drawer or hang in the closet. 9. Put Bounce sheet in vacuum cleaner. 10. Prevent thread from tangling. Run a threaded needle through a sheet of Bounce before beginning to sew. 11. Prevent musty suitcases. Place an individual sheet of Bounce inside empty luggage before storing. 12. To freshen the air in your car - Place a sheet of Bounce under the front seat. 13. Clean baked-on foods from a cooking pan. Put a sheet in a pan, fill with water, let sit overnight, and sponge clean. The anti-static agent apparently weakens the bond between the food and the pan. 14. Eliminate odors in wastebaskets. Place a sheet of Bounce at the bottom of the wastebasket. 15. Collect cat hair. Rubbing the area with a sheet of Bounce will magnetically attract all the loose hairs. 16. Eliminate static electricity from Venetian blinds. Wipe the blinds with a sheet of Bounce to prevent dust from resettling. 17. Wipe up sawdust from drilling or sand papering. A used sheet of Bounce will collect sawdust like a tack cloth. 18. Eliminate odors in dirty laundry. Place an individual sheet of Bounce at the bottom of a laundry bag or hamper. 19. Deodorize shoes or sneakers. Place a sheet of Bounce in your shoes or sneakers overnight. 20. Golfers put a Bounce sheet in their back pocket to keep the bees away. 21. Put a Bounce sheet in your sleeping bag and tent before folding and storing them. It will keep them smelling fresh.

Joan Jett and The Blackhearts

Great news for you, Kasey!! So very happy and thankful. I will continue saying prayers for your niece and for Fred!!!

Praying for good test results tommorrow!

(((((Dear Sweet Carleen)))))))) I know your heart is breaking. So many losses and defeats in such a brief time span. For the longest time, I struggled with God's decision to take the love of my life from me. I just couldn't understand or accept how God could possibly need him more that I did. I had many "fights" with God. I couldn't believe He was the kind and loving God I had always believed him to be. People kept telling me that God has a reason for everything He does, even thought I may not understand, or even recognize them. Here I am, four years later, and I still don't understand what the plan was. I am sure there was one...just still struggling to know what it was. Carleen...you may be so tired and heartbroken right now that you can't find the inner strength that we all know you have. Take some time to step back and regroup. You have suffered a tremendous loss this week. That is more than many can deal with and you have an ill husband in addition. Ever since I read your first post on this board, I have had a special love in my heart for you. Your love for Keith has always been so strong and obvious. It reminds me of one star burning very brightly in the darkest of nights....for all to see and witness. Since that first post, I have always included you and Keith in almost every prayer my lips have uttered. Carleen, I know there are many others on this board that have the same love for you that I do. We will never desert you or cease from remembering you and Keith in our prayers.

Frank...this one takes the cake....or should I say donuts?

ROFL ...This is a very good one, Geri!!!!

I have become very opinionated about the lack of customer service in our country. I am so sick of going to a store, spending my hard earned money, only to be treated rudely by a sales person. This is a common topic of conversation with people anymore. It seems no one is concerned as to whether the consumer gets good, quality service. It really doesn't matter what we're spending out money for....services, food or merchandise. People just don't seem to care. Some would say that their lack of consideration is because they are not well paid. Wrong. I have worked for a lot less hourly wage that most of these people are being paid and I never thad this attitude. For a long time, I would just hide my head in the sand and make excuses for poor customer service by these employees...but no more. When I feel the service I have been given is not up to par, I let my opinion be known. It's so scary to think that we are going to be senior citizens in a country that will eventually be run by a society that has this "don't care" attitude. OK...I'll step off my soap box now. Next up......

D= Duran Duran

BUMPER STICKERS "IF YOU CAN'T FEED EM, DON'T BREED EM!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Constipated People Don't Give A Crap. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Horn Broken... Watch For Finger. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Earth Is Full - Go Home. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I Have The Body Of A God - Buddha. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible adult. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Illiterate? Write For Help. ~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Honk If Anything Falls Off. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ He Who Hesitates Not Only Is Lost, But is Miles From The Next Exit. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fight Crime: Shoot Back! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (Seen Upside Down On A Jeep) If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Also Are Timed For 70 mph ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Guys: No Shirt, No Service Gals: No Shirt, No Charge ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ax! Me About Ebonics. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Boldly Going Nowhere. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Caution - Driver Legally Blonde. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Heart Attacks: God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ GROW YOUR OWN DOPE -- PLANT A MAN. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ All Men Are Animals; Some Just Make Better Pets. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And Lastly: "POLITICIANS & DIAPERS BOTH NEED TO BE CHANGED, AND FOR THE SAME REASON"

What is the strongest opinion that you currently hold about anything?

Let's do round two..... A= Abba

H = Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass

Maybe we could strike a deal and get them to let us go on as a group, donating a portion of our winnings to LC research??? I'm sure thay could get the action and excitement they want from this group...lol!

Right, Ginny...way too many things are true...lol! I can remember when I would hear people talk about the weather affecting their aches and pains. At the time, I thought that was ricidulous. Now...I'm a believer!

Lets give this one a try. I'll start. A = Aerosmith

Benefits of Getting Older In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. No one expects you to run into a burning building. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. There's nothing left to learn the hard way. Things you buy now won't wear out. You can eat dinner at 4 p.m. You can live without sex but not without glasses. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations. You got cable for the weather channel. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. You can sing along with the elevator music. When you talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn. Your eyes won't get much worse. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

POTATO PROSTITUTES Two little potatoes are standing on the street corner. One is a prostitute. How can you tell which one is the prostitute? Hold on...... You're gonna love it.. It's the one with the little sticker that says.. . I - DA - HO

Life in the 1500's The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500's: Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married. Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water." Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and off the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs." There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence. The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying "dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a "thresh hold." (Getting quite an education, aren't you?) In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, "Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old." Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat." Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous. Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "upper crust." Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake." England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the "graveyard shift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer." And that's the truth... Now, whoever said that History was boring ! ! !

When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars." Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later, she became his stepmother. Women are so much smarter than men.