Ann

I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I know that we all have learned some very valuable lessons in life. Sometimes we pass these lessons on to others but sometimes they just stay with us. I thought we could add to this thread and maybe have something new to add to our next cookbook. Hey Andrea...is there a Volume 2 in the future???

Since Lillian is a wonderful caretaker, I thought she would really relate to this poem. AN OLD LADY'S POEM What do you see, nurses, what do you see? What are you thinking when you're looking at me? A crabby old woman, not very wise, Uncertain of habit, with faraway eyes? Who dribbles her food and makes no reply"" Who seems not to notice the things that you do, And forever is losing a stocking or shoe.... Who, resisting or not, lets you do as you will, With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill.... Then open your eyes, nurse; you're not looking at me. I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still, As I do at your bidding, as I eat at your will. I'm a small child of ten...with a father ! and mother, Brothers and sisters, who love one another. A young girl of sixteen, with wings on her feet, Dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet. A bride soon at twenty--my heart gives a leap, Remembering the vows that I promised to keep. At twenty-five now, I have young of my own, Who need me to guide and a secure happy home. A woman of thirty, my young now grown fast, Bound to each other with ties that should last. At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone, But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn. At fifty once more, babies play around my knee, Again we know children, my loved one and me. Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead; I look at the future, I shudder with dread. For my young are all rearing young of their own, And I think of the years and the love that I've known. I'm now an old woman....and nature is cruel; Tis jest to make old age look like a fool. The body, it crumbles, grace and vigor depart, There is now a stone where I once had a heart. But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells, And now and again my battered heart swells. I remember the joys, I remember the pain, And I'm loving and living life over again. I think of the years....all too few, gone too fast, And accept the stark fact that nothing can last. So open your eyes, nurses, open and see, ...Not a crabby old woman; look closer...see ME!!

“Cupcakes and Root Beer” By Julie A. Manhan There once was a little boy who wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with cupcakes, several cans of root beer and started on his journey. When he had gone about three blocks, he saw an elderly woman. She was sitting on a park bench watching the pigeons. The boy sat down next to her and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed the lady looked hungry so he offered her a cupcake. She gratefully accepted and smiled at him. Her smile was so wonderful that he wanted to see it again, so he offered a root beer as well. Once again she smiled at him. The boy was delighted! They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling without saying a word. As it began to grow dark, the boy realized how tired he was and wanted to go home. He got up to leave but before he had gone no more than a few steps, he turned around and ran back to the old woman, giving her a big hug. She gave him her biggest smile ever. When the boy arrived home his Mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked, "What has made you so happy today?" He replied, "I had lunch with God." Before his mother could respond he added, "You know what? She's got the most beautiful smile in the whole world!" Meanwhile, the old woman, also radiant with joy, returned to her home. Her son was stunned by the look of peace on her face. He asked, "Mother, what has made you so happy today?" She replied, "I ate cupcakes in the park with God." And before her son could reply, she added, "You know, he is much younger than I expected." Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring; all of which have the potential to turn a life around. People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Take no one for granted and embrace all equally with joy!

Janet, I am so very sorry to hear of your moms passing. I know your heart is broken. Take this time to try and remember the happy times the two of you shared and also never forget what a great caregiver you were. Your mom is now at peace. I am saying prayers that God will give you strength to deal with the painful days ahead!

It is so good to hear from you. I have worried so much about you, as I knew how absolutely devastated you were when you lost the love of your life. I also remember that his family wasn't being any comfort or help to you either and that only complicated the issue. Please keep in touch with us. Remember, there are many of us that are in the same place you're in. Some have been there more recently than others. Just remember that we're here to listen and understand what you're going through. Saying prayers for you!

Hi there Kat. Where in the world have you been? So sorry that you're in this state of panic. I would be the same way! I think you should go ahead and make the appointment for now. What's the use in driving yourself nuts wondering about "what could be" when it's probably nothing serious. Hey...give yourself a break and call the doc! Then...let us know what he says!

I am so glad your life seems to be settling down a bit. I think going back to school is just what you need right now. This will definitely give you something else to occupy your mind. I am so glad your mom seems to be making some progress! I think of both you and your mom often and still say prayers!

Sharon, I am so very sorry that you are faced with this crisis in your life. Here, you will find a lot of information, support and guidance from some of the most wonderful people around. As much as we, the family members, want our loved ones to fight, we have to remember that the way they fight is their decision. Like others have said, I think you should definitely let your brother know that you want him to keep on fighting this disease. You should also listen to what his wishes are and definitely abide by them, should they differ from yours. I know this is sometimes very hard to do. Love and support are often the very most important things that our loved ones can get from us. I'm saying prayers for both you and your brother.

Maryanne and Joel..Congratulations on the one year mark! I am crossing fingers and saying lots of prayers for great test results!!!

I was angry...very angry...but not quite sure just who to be angry with! I first thought of being angry with Dennis, as I had tried to get him to stop smokling for 25 years. But...I couldn't be mad at him, as he was was going to die. I thought of being angry at God for allowing this to happen to my wonderful husband, but...I couldn't be mad at Him because He was the only one that could allow Dennis to live. So...I guess I was angry with myself for most of the time. I had a very hard time dealing with the anger and very few chances to release the anger that would build inside of me. At work, I had to be nice to people all day. At home, I had to care for Dennis and show only love, compassion and tenderness. I had to be brave and pretend that I really believed we would beat this illness. So, I finally found a release. When I was driving in the car alone, I would scream. Really scream. Thank God that here in Florida, we always have windows up and AC on. That screaming helped me make it through.

Karen, it is so good to hear from you and get an update on your mom. Please tell her I think of her often. I hope she can get back on the board with us at some point in time.

Jen...I'm continuing to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I can tell you that the CPT-11 and Cisplatin combo really kicked butt with the cancer in Dennis' liver. It was all clear after the first round of treatment. Just hang tough and remember we're all pulling for you!

Lillian...thanks so much for this beautiful post! I am so glad that you are able to see all that you have been blessed with. Although this is such a sorrowful time for both of us, I also have a lot to be thankful for.

Thanks for giving us this update, Katie. Sandy is surely missed. Glad to hear that things are going well for her!!!

This is a very different question. When you...or your loved one...was diagnosed with cancer, how did you handle the anger?

Val...just know that I'm hurting right now...for me and for you! It's so strange that I can so easily forget some things in my mind but anything to do with Dennis and his illness seems to always be right there in my mind. I can remember diagnosis dates, treatment dates, good days...bad days... I guess we'll never forget and never stop hurting but we will hopefully learn to deal with the pain! Saying prayers for you, Val.

Lillian...as always, I am so very proud of you for picking yourself up by those boot strings of yours and getting back into this journey called life. I can't even imagine how very hard all of these things have been on you. Most of us, including me, would have already tucked out tails between our legs and run home. You have had a very tough life and losing Johnny just seemed to be the turning point. You stayed in an unhappy marriage for way too many years, just to please others. You know, you and I have talked so many times about how we can't seen any reason that God would have taken either Johnny or Dennis from us. Well, I think neither of us have found an answer but your case has definitely proven that God is real and loves us more that we can ever understand. Just think....after all those years, God allowed you and Johnny to be together. I can probably guess that having that happen was a real prayer answered for both of you. By giving you a second chance with Johnny, God also gave you a reason to be strong enough to leave a very bad relationship. Johnny gave you love, Lil but he also gave you so very much more. He opened doors for you that you might never had the courage to open by yourself. I am so glad you made those decisions. God was there beside you then and he's right there with you now. Just try and relax and let things fall into His hands for a while. I know you started writing a journal, as I did. Just flip back to three years ago and read your words. Then, fast forward to today and you will see how much stronger you are. Think of all the new friends you have made. Life still has its bumpy roads....but you and I are 4 wheel drives....we'll get down that road, come hell or high water! Lil...I don't think you're headed for depression....I think you're on your way out!!!

Guys, I wish I could take credit for writing this. A friend emailed this to me and I had to share it with all of you. I'm sure it's OK to copy and frame. I just thought this was about the neatest thing I have ever read!

Pat and Brian...I am so very sorry that you had such a bad night but I am also glad to hear that things are better today. Glad to hear that Brian was able to make it to the hospital and that they got you in and out so quickly! I pray that you will will both have a good day. It's good to discuss some of the really big decisions while you both feel up to talking about them. It makes it so much easier if both have input on these decsiions. Yes, Pat, you can still recieve pallative treatment while Hospice is helping. I'm saying prayers for both of you, as well as Beth and Bill. I know how both of you dear ladies feel right now. I was at the exact same place three years ago. Everyone seems to be hustling and bustling about getting ready for the holidays and all you want is to hold onto the love of your life!!! Hang on ladies...we're praying for miracles!

Old age, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body ... the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don't agonize over those things for long. I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, and my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to overeat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 a.m., and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love... I will. I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the bikini set. They, too, will get old. I know I am sometimes forgetful. But then again, some of life is just as well forgotten ... and I eventually remember the important things. Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect. I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. I can say "no", and mean it. I can say "yes", and mean it. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong. So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day.

Choosing a wife A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money. The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed. The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed. The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several ! times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed. The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her. Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs. Men are like that, you know. There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

I saw that Donna. I also thought she looked great.

I'm rarely ever without an opinion about an issue. I'm not sure if that can be considered a good trait but I do take a stand for what I believe is right. I will fight tooth and nail for the under dog without fail. I'm very open and honest...sometimes too much for my own good.

Wow guys...I'm still thinking on this one. It would have been so much easier for me to name my character flaws....lol!