Ann

I'll keep the prayers going for you, gal! Let's all think positive about this! I just know everything is going to be fine!

Ginny....Keep on posting! So many time, your posts have made my day and helped me over a difficult time. Thanks for caring enough to stay with us!

Name one life goal you have yet to achieve.

Happy Birthday all you December babies!

Ginny, I think that would have to be my choice also ...but....eyelids are second!

OK, Ralph. It's time for all the good news to start rolling in. Saying prayers and crossing fingers (in that order) that the chemo will work wonders for you!

If you could have plastic surgery right now and change anything about you, what would it be?

A friend emailed me this poem and I wanted to share it with you. I know we often have mentioned how people just don't want to talk about the loss of our loved ones, often for fear it will bring us pain. This poem deals with this so well. Please See Me Through My Tears by Kelly Osmont You asked, "How am I doing?" As I told you, tears came to my eyes... and you looked away and quickly began to talk again. All the attention you had given me drained away. "How am I doing?"...I do better when people listen, though I may shed a tear or two. This pain is indescribable. If you've never known it you cannot fully understand. Yet I need you. When you look away, When I'm ignored, I am again alone with it Your attention means more than you can ever know. Really, tears are not a bad sign, you know! They're nature's way of helping me to heal... They relieve some of the stress of sadness. I know you fear that asking how I'm doing brings me sadness ...but you're wrong. The memory of my loved one's death will always be with me, Only a thought away. My tears make my pain more visible to you, but you did not give me the pain...it was already there. When I cry, could it be that you feel helpless, not knowing what to do? You are not helpless, And you don't need to do a thing but be there. When I feel your permission to allow my tears to flow, you've helped me You need not speak. Your silence as I cry is all I need. Be patient...do not fear. Listening with your heart to "how I am doing" relieves the pain, for when the tears can freely come and go, I feel lighter. Talking to you releases what I've been wanting to say aloud, clearing space for a touch of joy in my life. I'll cry for a minute or two... and then I'll wipe my eyes, and sometimes you'll even find I'm laughing later. When I hold back the tears, my throat grows tight, my chest aches, my stomach knots... because I'm trying to protect you from my tears. Then we both hurt...me, because my pain is held inside, a shield against our closeness...and you, because suddenly we're distant. So please, take my hand and see me through my tears... then we can be close again.

If I didn't have dogs: 1. I could safely walk around my yard barefoot. 2. The floor in my house could be carpeted instead of tiled and laminated. 3. All flat surfaces, clothing, furniture, and cars would be free of dog hair. 4. When the doorbell rings, it wouldn't sound like the kennels. 5. When the doorbell rings, I could get to the door without wading through dog bodies who beat me there. 6. I could sit on the couch comfortably, without taking into consideration how much space the fur babies need to get comfortable. 7. I would not have strange presents under my Christmas tree - dog bones, stuffed animals - nor would I have to explain why I wrap them. 8. I would not be on a first-name basis with three veterinarians. 9. The most used words in my vocabulary would not be: "out," "sit," "down," "come," "no," "stay," and "leave him/her/it ALONE." 10. My house would not be cordoned off into zones with baby gates or barriers. 11. I would not find dog cookies in the bottom of my purse. Especially when *I* didn't put them there. 12. I would no longer have to spell the words B-A-L-L, F-R-I-S-B-E-E, R-I-D-E, C-O-O-K-I-E, or W-A-L-K. 13. I would not have as many leaves INSIDE my house as outside. 14. I would not look strangely at people who think having ONE dog ties them down too much. 15. I'd look forward to spring and the melting of snow instead of dreading "mud season." 16. How empty and boring my life would be.

OMG...Jamie, I had forgotten all about Under-Roos. I used to buy those for my boys! Wow...where has time gone???

I think I would definitely want to be Catwoman!

Sandy, this is great news. I have been wondering how you and your hubby are doing. The timing on this news was perfect for you to start off the holidays. Please keep us posted and know I will continue to remember you both in my prayers.

If you could be any superhero, you would you be?

Is everyone planning on chatting tonight? Hopefully, I won't forget! I know it's a very busy time for everyone but it's very nice to chat! Hope to talk to all of you!

Ry...I already have that page bookmarked! I plan on trying it.

You know, I think that all of us seem to second guess if we really did enough for our loved ones. Maybe your mom is thinking the same. I know that some people have a very hard time dealing with illness and loss. My youngest son had a very hard time being around his dad when he was very sick. This would blow my mind, as Dennis was definitely bigger than life to all three of the boys. Finally, one night the truth came out. Dennis was having a very painful night and was in tears. Chris just ran out of the room and when I followed him out he just told me he couldn't handle seeing his dad like this. Maybe you are justified in feeling that your mom didn't "give" enough while your dad was so very ill. But, remember that these feelings won't help anything at this point and will only furhter the distance between you. I feel so very bad all the pain you and your mom are dealing with. I'll be saying prayers for both of you.

ROFL....these are too funny! I needed a luagh today!!! Thanks for posting!

Tina...so glad Aunt Sarah is was released from the hospital and was able to enjoy a nice Thanksgiving with her family. Also very glad to hear that Charlie was up to doing some good Southern cooking for Thanksgiving. That's one of the things I miss most about Tennessee....all that good down home cooking. I don't believe there was ever a Tennessean that wasn't a wonderful cook!!!

Wow...where do I begin on this one? Dennis was just a great guy! He was a great husband, father and son but I think his best attribute was his ability to be a friend. He was a really big guy...6'3"...236 pounds but he had the heart of a teddy bear. His ability to be a good friend really hit me at his memorial service. You have no idea how touching it is to see big "construction worker type" guys sobbing out loud. Dennis was a plumbing contractor and so many times, he seemed to be guided to a young guy that was really unskilled and down on his luck. Dennis would take him under our wings, give him a job and teach him a trade. It's so nice to now get a call from these guys who are doing well in life. There's a little story about people being sent into our lives for a time and purpose to fulfill the work of God. Well, I truly believe my Dennis was one of those angels!

I think your moms behaviour is not too much out of the ordinary, considering she just lost her husband in October. If you remember, I posted a message about anger and how people deal with it. I can tell you that I was very angry. I was hard to deal with and really didn't want to be around people for a while. After being home so much while Dennis was ill, I hated to leave home. I think I always felt that he was there. When I did have to go out, I would always rush home, almost as if I expected to find him there waiting for me. I know that you are in pain from losing your father but the loss of a spouse is very different. Please don't be too tough on your mom right now. I'm sure she will come around. right now, she probably feels very angry that her husband has been taken from her. She is probably very afraid and feels very alone, yet is not quite sure how to reach out. I'm sure, given some time, she will be fine. Saying prayers for both of you!

Donna...my heart really goes out to you today. I firsthand know the pain and loss you are feeling. Crying is often a good thing to do. It enables out body to release some of these emotions that we have all bottled up inside. Crying and talking were (and are) some of my best self-help therapies. Grief has so very many stages and cycles and just when we think we've gone through everything possible, another form of grief will hit us. I can remember the exact minute that I realized that I would never again see Dennis in this life. It was December 20, 2002, at about 8:30 in the morning. Dennis had been gone for five days, but for some reason, the thought that I would never see him again hadn't hit me. It was a dark, rainy day and all I could think about was suicide. I knew there was no way I could make it without him. I called my Hospice counselor to ask for help to just get through that day. She talked to me and made some suggestions about things that might help. One that really helped was writing letters to Dennis and keeping them in a journal. I did this every day. I told him about everything that went on in my life. It made me feel as if he was still there to share the little things with me. I still write in that journal when I have something important to tell him. On some days, I just pull the journals out and read them, This helps me to see how far I've come since the day I began writing. Donna, just remember that this is truly a ONE DAY AT A TIME journey. Still, I have days that really kick me down. Then, there are others when the pain seems so long ago. Talk about your brother a lot with a friend. As long as you think of him, he is still alive in your heart. I'll be saying lots of prayers for you. You can get through this! You have so much support here on this board. Please use us to help you!!!!

Thanks so much for all the kind words. You know, I always seem to take so much more from you guys than I ever give back. I actually became a part of another board prior to this one but when Katie and Rick gave birth to this bouncing baby, I knew this was the right place for me. Thanks so much to all of you for always being here for me!!! I love each and every one of you as if you are my own family!!!

I'm way behind! Hope you had a very Happy Birthday, Mr. Ry !

So very inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing this with us!

I hope you have a wonderful birthday, Nina! If your day is as special for you as you are to us....it will be great!