Subject: BAPTIZING A
BEAR
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains
to the students of the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa .
They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to
talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't
really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They
would all go up to the Smokies, find a bear, preach to it, and
attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has
various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.
'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I
found him I began to read to him from the Catechism.
Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me
around. So, I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is
coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm
and both legs in casts, and an IV drip.
In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, 'WELL brothers,
you KNOW that WE don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear.
And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that
bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we
began to wrassle. We wrassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN
another until we came to a creek. So right quick-like, I DUNKED him
and BAPTIZED his hairy soul.
And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the
rest of the day praising Jesus.'
They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed.
He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in
and out of him. He was in bad shape.
The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision
may not have been the best way to start."