shelliemacs

This happened to me, kinda. I had 11 messages from my mom on my home and work answering machine. When I moved from my apt. into moms home, I lost those 5 messages because I unplugged the phone. My work phone still has 4 messages on it and I have to figure out something before I leave that job to get them off my work phone onto something else. i hope you get this saved.

Hi Jay, right now the fear is overwhelming and the questions are many. I went through this too many times. My mom was dx with NSC in Jan 03 but I lost her in Aug 03, then my dad was dx 4 months later in Dec 03 and died in June 04. the day dad ws burried my sister was dx'd with breast cancer but she is well now. and then again my FIL was dx with NSC and I lost him too. bring a note book, a list of your questions, and always have an additional person at all of moms appointments. Always be proactive and never NOT question the doctors. If you dont question them they will sometimes not put in the fight you are willing too. If that happens get another oncologist. My sister was going to go to mom and dads onc. but since it was so recent, we begged her to see someone else and that onc. fighted for and with my sister. Never give up the fight and never loose hope. as long as there is breath there is hope.

I am astounded how much fight Lucy has in her and how well she keeps rebounding from the dips in this rollercoaster. This is Fantastic news.

Carleen, just breathe. Thats all you should be doing right now. Nothing else is important right now. Not money not bills not work, just breathe. in and out in and out thats all you really have the capacity to do right now. Everything else is too painful. Money well make 10 dollar payments on your bills and if an attempt is being made then they cant do anything to you. the pain. I know everyone says you will get over it one day and the pain will subside one day. What your asking I am sure is when, WHEN WILL THIS AWFUL ALL CONSUMING PAIN STOP OR KILL ME! well I dont know and noone does. I know I didn't even realize the day I woke up and realized that the grief over loosing mom and dad 9 months apart was disipating. It just clicked into me a few weeks ago. I realized I look forward to things now and I am not sure when it happened. when the pain was gone and the grief had subsided but just a moment here and there of missing them came in. A few months after mom died my 33 year old cousin Tom died from cancer of the tounge. he never smoked or drank. but it had been mis dx'd for over a year and then it was too late. it was everywhere. Well his widow had a two year old and fell into a hole for almost two years. Just this year did she begin to live again. She is now dating again and looks forward to life again. my point is time is time and it will pass and you can either choose to live the life Keith wanted you to live with him and now hopefully his baby so when you yourself get called home you can look at him and see how proud you made him. or not. the choices are all yours and think of it this way. If you were the one who was dying and then left keith alone, what would you want for him. how would you like him to carry on. the baby is keith's life force and hopefully will carry on and you will see keith everytime you look at the little one's eyes. you always have us and we will support you until you dont need us anymore. you are loved.

I am stunned speechless. I cant come up with anything but rage and tears. My God I am so profoundly sorry.

carleen death can't stop true love. It just delays it. The love you and Keith share is a live living thing. It is incapable of dying and will always ALWAYS live on. Keith will always be with you just not to the visible eye. You have to know that as fierce as your love for each other is, it will never be anything but the brightest star in the sky, the most unbreakable bond, the beautiful ever burning candle. It cant ever be extinguished or go out. Its just always a constant that you will have and be able to count on. thats why God gave that ability to us. Its like him, it will always be there. you have never met or seen GOD but he has always been there in your life and a constant presence that you feel in your heart right?? so is the love between you and keith. time is but a moment, LOVE is always enduring.

I am just checking in on everyone. I have been just swamped lately. well my neighbor does have cancer. She has extensive ovarian cancer. They operated 3 weeks ago and she is healing but her spirits are non existant. She believes she will be gone before summer is over and she won't leave her house. I am there everyday just for conversation so her husband can have an hour or so to do things around the house like laundry or cleaning or grocery shopping. Things like that. my sisters wedding is fast approaching and I am busy there too. We just hit two years last week that we lost dad and moms 3 year anniversary is less than 2 months away. I am getting better everyday emotionially and although I miss my parents with every inch of my soul. I am carrying on with life now, finially. we are going to sell the house and move to the Florida Keys in January and its so exciting to be excited about something again. I don't care if I have to mow lawns to make a living but life is fleeting and I want to enjoy it now and worry later about how to pay for it. I read the board and my heart still aches for those still suffering and breaks for the senseless losses from the Damn disease. I can't imagine what I would have done or how I would have coped for the last 3 years without every single one of you. You are hope, you are love and you are my extended family. although I am not leaving, I dont post much anymoe, but please know i am always praying for each and every one of you. Shelly McNamara Troy New York

You all right. I told her and her husband that just leave me a list and it will be done. She is going into surgery either late this week or early next week. Last night I went over and grabbed their dog leash and took the dog for a walk so they know he is comfortable with me. Becky, your advice is fantastic. I will be doing that. Their lawn may not look as pretty as they have it now, but it will get cut. And I can always bring food over. Heck I order out all the time and two extra helpings wont' hurt the delivery man. I pray and hope its nothing and will post when I know.

Well again the beast has targeted someone close to me. My mom and dads best friend, Linda. Her and her husband were my parents next door neighbors for over 20 years. Since we bought and moved into mom and dads house she has been like a mom to me. She sends food over and baked goods all the time. She even babysits my rabbit when I am away. We found out Friday night that she has a melon sized mass on one of her ovary's. The doctor tells her he isn't sure its cancer yet, but its huge and must come out very quickly. I have read that OC is like LC and by the time the symptoms appear, its late stage. She is 49 and very very scared. I tried to find the comforting words but I am not sure where my boundry is this time. Its not my blood family and I can't barge my way into her treatment like I did with mom, dad and my sister. I want so bad to step in and take over but It hasn't been asked for yet and it probably wont be. I am sad, so sad that there is so much cancer out there. There is no rhyme or reason. I feel like the JAWS movies where by Jaws 3 the mother fealt that the shark was targeting her family. She talked to me saturday about where all her life insurance papers were and what her husband would have to take care of. a nurse at work here today told me sometimes OC can go very fast if its late stage. How do I help now. How do I help her fight and become her patient advocate when its not my family. then again...do I if its not my war?

you have our unconditional support and prayers for a perfect outcome.

You know your mom is running around Heaven showing off her new grand baby'c pictures. They will always have their grams as their guardian angel.

You still show so much grace in the face of such adversity. You are one Phenomonial (sp) lady and I am proud to share this board with you.

You mom is a WINNER against cancer of any kind and there is no reason to doubt that she WILL do it again. Never give up hope or give up the fight.

YOU DA MANNNNNN!!!!!! That just goes to show those damn statistics that LC survivors will not go quietly into that gentle night. Oh no, they FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!!

seedless grapes, Pepsi One, Cold Pizza.

seedless grapes, Pepsi One, Cold Pizza.

I have asked those same questions and had that same anger driven fear your having right now. There is no fair. It sucks big time. Its awful and wrong and our hands are tied which makes us feel totally helpless. If love could cure cancer no one would have it. Rage when you must, cry, get pissed, throw things and scream. I have even been so mad that I've wanted to go find a mugger or thug and beat the crap out of him myself for him being alive and my parents not. i am praying for you all.

I am praying for you all.

I am so sorry about your loss.

I too am so very sorry.

Lucie is such a fighter. She will win the fight again.

I too am so sorry for your loss. There is no pain in Heaven.

when my mom came off the steroids she got extremely tired too. The steroids are false energy. She ate like a hog on them and then stopped after them. Her personality changed a bit too. She seemed a little more edgy. but with that crap in your system it does a number on one's system.

I also welcome you to the family. When you say its hard to find hope or be thankful or grateful, everyone here knows that feeling. Your feeling cheated unlucky, crapped on, sad, angry... all of those feelings are valid and you have a right to them. No one deserves cancer and especially lung cancer when the odds are already against the patient becuase the dollars are not there in research like in other cancers. But think of it this way. You have so much to be thankful for already. Your husband is still HERE. As long as that is what it is then there is ALWAYS HOPE. Never give up the fight and if your doctors are not positive for you the dang it find another one and keep looking until you find him or her. the squeaky wheel gets the oil remember. also think of it this way. You have chances now to make memories and tell each other how much you love each other. There are people today who went to work and wont ever come home from some accident or something. Live like gangbusters right now. If you knew the world were going to end in three days wouldn't you want to go out in a blaze of glory? I am not saying your husband is going to pass anytime in the near future, just that you were given this alert that everyone's time is fleeting. You started dying the second you were born. Live like today is it, even for people who have not been dx's with anything yet. You yourself are not guaranteed to come home tomorrow so live the life you were given today. if this is coming off bad truly its not how I mean it. I have just lost so much and have lived in fear of cancer for so long that I am trying very hard to "Carpe Deim" myself. I want to go to my grave, dirty, tired, broken, scratched and limping. If and when I go, I am going fighting. shelly

Wow is the only word I can come up with for how twisted your world is right now. I am so unbelieveably sorry for what your going through. I too lost my mom and dad to LC 9 months apart. We didn't even know dad had it when mom died but three months later he was dx'd and 6 months after that I lost him too. Your on auto pilot right now and NOW is when you need to ask for help. Friends, Family who ever and maybe even something from your doctor to help your nerves. Nothing will ever be able to fill the void of a mom or a dad. Carry him in your heart and talk to him and about him with others often it will keep him here and alive with you.