Bev'sSister

Hi All and thank you so much for you kind responses to my other posts. They were truly appreciated. Beverly was sent home from the hospital on Saturday. Her counts were up and looking good..the doctor told her that she will have to eat and get built back up if she ever intends to get more chemo. I think he just said that to make her feel there is a chance. She has never lost her hope though. She is on the patch for pain..the doctor said that the cancer is back on her lung. Her breathing is hard. I don't really know how to explain or describe what she is going through now. I think the pain meds are helping to keep her numb through all of this..because she has hardly shed a tear. She sleeps a lot. We talked some..but not really, you know. I told her that I loved her..she kinda asked "why me" and I just told her that God knew she could handle it better than anyone else in our family could. Honestly, I don't know if I am in denial or if she is going to get better and get over this hump, or if she is going to die soon. I know she was really weak and I don't think she should have ever gotten that weak..but it is hard to know what to do. The doctor suggested we think about Hospice..but at the same time he told her that if she opts for Hospice..she would have trouble with her insurance company, if somehow she builds back up to do more chemo, because for hospice to come in the doctor would have to say that she is uncurable or something to that effect and that her insurance will not cover her after that. (She is on blue cross==Cobra)..Anyone know if this is true, or did I hear wrong? What about home health? From what I understand the dr. has to order this also?? I am kinda in a fog right now..I will try and keep in touch. I hope my writing made some sense. Love to all, Bobby

Debi, I am so sorry to hear your news. What a wonderful wife you were to Tony and I know he was so thankful you were there for him. Please know I am praying for you. You have been such a comfort to me and I know you will have the strength to get through this..but just the same, please let us know if there is anything we can do to help. Love, Bobby

Hi All and thank you so much for you kind responses to my other posts. They were truly appreciated. Beverly was sent home from the hospital on Saturday. Her counts were up and looking good..the doctor told her that she will have to eat and get built back up if she ever intends to get more chemo. I think he just said that to make her feel there is a chance. She has never lost her hope though. She is on the patch for pain..the doctor said that the cancer is back on her lung. Her breathing is hard. I don't really know how to explain or describe what she is going through now. I think the pain meds are helping to keep her numb through all of this..because she has hardly shed a tear. She sleeps a lot. We talked some..but not really, you know. I told her that I loved her..she kinda asked "why me" and I just told her that God knew she could handle it better than anyone else in our family could. Honestly, I don't know if I am in denial or if she is going to get better and get over this hump, or if she is going to die soon. I know she was really weak and I don't think she should have ever gotten that weak..but it is hard to know what to do. The doctor suggested we think about Hospice..but at the same time he told her that if she opts for Hospice..she would have trouble with her insurance company, if somehow she builds back up to do more chemo, because for hospice to come in the doctor would have to say that she is uncurable or something to that effect and that her insurance will not cover her after that. (She is on blue cross==Cobra)..Anyone know if this is true, or did I hear wrong? What about home health? From what I understand the dr. has to order this also?? I am kinda in a fog right now..I will try and keep in touch. I hope my writing made some sense. Love to all, Bobby

The doctor told my sister that they have done all they can. The chemo is killing her. He doesn't want to give her anymore. He said he is focusing on keeping her comfortable at this point. She took it very well..at least that is what she wants us to think. She told me what the doctor told her..then without a tear in her eye..She said she is not giving up. She made a will and sent it to her lawyer's office. She is an amazing person. They are giving her a blood transfusion. Her blood count was really low. Also, her protien level was at 1 and I think it is supposed to be at least 5. She has fluid on her lungs.I don't know if this is cancer or what. Her sons are coming in tonight. I got her last night and I will be spending the night with her at the hospital tonight so her husband can come and get some sleep. My parents are numb..maybe a little bit in denial. I am trying really hard to hold it all together. What do I say to her tonight? What does she need to hear? It is 5:30 here..so I will probably go there around 7..If anyone knows what I should or should not say..please respond. Thank you all for listening and for giving me an outlet. I am so appreciative to talk to anyone..especially those going through this or have gone through this. Love to all, Bobby

Thank to all of you for your kind replies. I just talked to my BIL who told me they have put Beverly in the hospital and are giving her fluids. She is still unable to talk..so I will probably go down there in the next day or so. Please keep us in your prayers. Love, Bobby

Thank you for your kind response. It really did make me feel better. I think my major problem is when I cry I feel like I am giving up. Staying in denial is so much easier. This is so much harder than I ever imagined it would be. I will be praying for your family and you to get through this too. Love, Bobby

When I can't stop crying? I don't mean to sound like a whiny kid..but I don't think I can handle this. How do you get through this? Is there some medication out there to help? I can not even think about my sister without crying. I can not have a conversation with my co-workers without tears rolling down my cheeks. I am trying not to make this about me..but I can't stop CRYING!! Please, tell me how to get through this. Bobby

Thank you for your replies. I just called my sister and my other sister answered and said Beverly is too weak to talk right now. I am afraid she is close to the end now. She can barely go to the bathroom alone anymore. I feel like she should be going to the hospital, but her doctors don't seem to be too concerned. How long can you be expected to be on chemo when you aren't getting better? Could this concoction they have her on now be what has got her so weak? (Topotecan and Avistan-once a weak.) I have yet to find anyone who has been on this combination. She is on oxygen..which has not helped. I just don't know what to do..My parents are so frightened and there is nothing I can say to help them through this. I am going to need a lot of help getting through all of this. I am terrified of what may be coming. Thanks for listening. Bobby

I can't bear to hear my sister right now. It has gotten to the point that I dread calling her, because I am so scared her voice will be weaker, or that I won't be able to understand what she says. It scares me to tears to hear her. She is so NOT what she used to be and I am having a difficult time dealing with this. I am so ashamed for saying this, but I was hoping if I read it aloud then I would realize what a horrid person I am. Sorry...I am feeling sorry for myself right now.

Hi Leslie. I felt some sense of relief when I read your post. I didn't feel so alone. My sister is going through the same thing your Dad is right now. I live about 4 hours from her, so I call her a couple of times a day..but lately, I can barely understand what she is saying.She is on oxygen and is so short of breath. Her cancer is in her bronchi tubes and has blocked some of her breathing. She is very weak also, and finally allowed her husband to put her in a wheelchair to walk down to the X-Ray room in the hospital. She had coughed so hard that she pulled a muscle. I came in to work today and started crying. I could not stop. I think we hold it in for so long and it has to come out. Anyway, just wanted you to know that I know how helpless you feel and I will say a special prayer for your family tonight. Love, Bobby

Hi. My sister just went ahead and shaved hers off. It grows back and there are some wonderful wigs out there. Hers kinda started out like that too..but every time she brushed or shampooed..more hair came out. I would think that over time yours will come out too..I think it was more bothersome for her to have to keep cleaning it from the shower and the floor..so she went ahead and shaved it off. She has some great wigs. I hope I am not coming off as being insensitive..I don't mean to be. Just from experience through my sister, I know what you must be going through. It gets easier with time. Good Luck to you, Bobby

Thanks for all your replies. I hear you JB..there are some really scary drugs cancer patients are subjected to.

My sister emailed this to me and I wonder if anyone has had any bad experiences with this drug? She was given a shot on Thursday, last week. Bobby, I just ran across this information, have you heard this? PROCRIT Procrit is an anemia drug for certain patients with chronic kidney failure, HIV, or cancer Procrit is used to reduce blood transfusions during some surgeries Procrit has caused deaths, non-fatal heart attacks, strokes, heart failure and blood clots in patients with chronic kidney failure receiving higher than recommended doses More than 50% of dialysis patients in the U.S. regularly receive higher than recommended doses Procrit has caused accelerated tumor growth and increased risk of death in certain cancer patients Procrit has caused blood clots in patients undergoing major surgery An FDA-mandated black box warning has been added to Procrit labeling Lawsuits are being filed across the country against the drug companies that manufacture and promote Procrit. The FDA continues to receive reports of serious injuries and deaths resulting from Procrit use. The drug companies have been accused of false advertising and using illegal kickbacks, promotions, and marketing strategies. The Procrit label now warns about the life-threatening risks associated with Procrit use. But this warning comes too late for many Procrit patients. The Law Firm of Howard L. Nations represents people who have been injured by defective drugs. If you or someone you know has suffered serious side effects from taking Procrit, please contact our offices for a free case evaluation by one of our experienced pharmaceutical attorneys. _______________________________

I'm sorry, Nyka. He was very lucky to have you by his side. I wish you peace in the coming days. Love, Bobby

I am so happy for you and your family. Go and enjoy time with your Mom..without worrying about the "C" word. God has given you a gift. Be thankful and joyful in it. Love, Bobby

Prayers are with you. I am sure you will do fine.

I will tell her Rich..She asked about you and I told her you were hanging in there with everyone else. She loves your attitude! You stay positive and keep in touch with us. Love Bobby

I left Baton Rouge on Thursday morning to go and stay with my sister a few days and visit with my family. Families are a wonderful thing. I just don't know what I would do without mine. Beverly is in good spirits and seems to be feeling better. She talked to me a little more than usual and told me that she doesn't like to tell me things because she doesn't want to upset me. I can only hope that I would be as caring about others, as she is while she is so sick. She cried a little and told me she is getting tired of being tired. She lays in bed all day, everyday, because she becomes exhausted when she does anything. She has to take a break after showering, before she can dress. It is hard to see her like this. It is hard to see her on oxygen. She is forever optimistic that she will be feeling better soon and will be back to normal. I hope she is right. Her doctor told her she would feel better by the end of October. I am sorry to be rambling, I just wanted to write about her and now I am crying and unable to. I will write some later. I hope all is well for everyone. Love, Bobby

I am very sorry to hear of your loss. I wish you peace in the coming days. Love, Bobby

I am so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for your family to get through this. Take care of yourself. Love, Bobby

Prayers are going up for your Mom and your family. Take care and keep us posted. Bobby

Now that's funny!

I know Bill is proud. Glad to see you back. We have missed you! Love, Bobby

In my sister's case, the children were what made her feel better. I don't think anyone should be around her with something contagious. Children have a way of making you happy..so I would say not to keep them away. Bobby

I am really sorry to hear this. I am so glad you have a lot of support from your family. Your dear MIL is very fortunate to have such a great family. It truly is a gift. Please keep us posted and I will keep you all in my prayers. Love, Bobby