yellowbow

I'm prayering for you and DH. Maybe I shouldn't say this but , you could call the Dr and talk to him. I had to have the Dr call me before I called n Hospice. I was very hard. I called his cancer center and the nurse's suggested this. Sometimes if you talk to them they can help you. God bless and the best.

Prayering for you and family God wrap your arms around them all

Thank you for all answering. Thank you Randy. I'm so sorry it is hard for you on these days,but I know why it can be. I did try to get John to send me a sign!? Is this nutty?! Some things have happennd from the beganning of the illeness that is really weid. I have told the Minster about them. Does anyone get that they just don't want to talk to anyone that day? It just seem's to hit me and I just want to be by my self. Hospice has just sent me a letter of the pathways groups schedule and the Mourners's Bill of Rights. I will think about going. I may get one of those tear drop necklace, that you can put some ashes of loved one in it. It is sterling sliver. Randy I may Pm you. You can me if you want. I know what some of you's mean when people just think you should be over it in 2 weeks. Just sell everything and go on. Not when it took you 10 years to build up and in 7 mounths it all go's down the drain. You's lost it all and a soul you loved! I guess some day I will have too but for now I just can't do this. I have to try to keep it going and if it ends than I can say I tried. Have bitter sweet memories this Valtime day. Oh my sp sucks!

I just don't know where I belong anymore. Use to be a caregiver but not anymore. Not a wife anymore. But I can't say that other w word. I had to say it 2 times the other day and couldn't say it just tried to go around it. I sometimes still can't beleive John is gone. Bob ( John called Dad but not his dad) is driving the truck ( if it gets going again) called yesterday ( has John's cell phone ) wanted to know how to take John's voice off phone! I told him I didn't know how. I don't anyway. But what is hurry.? I'm just not ready for that. He dropped the phone anyway and says it isn'ting working. Just got it in Dec. cause other one broke!? Don't know what is going on there! Sone days are okay, some get bad crying over everything, some don't want to get out of bed. But that seen's to be getting better and not that much any more, about getting out of bed. My daughters are going to come next week so maybe that will help some. Thanks for listening Bless all of you's on the site. Wish we didn't neet like this but , glad there is some place to go.

I'm so sorry for your loss Betty. Prayers for you and your family.

Oh Grace my heart go out to you. I know what you are going threw, my DH had this too. Get a potty to put near bed. My DH did want a hospital bed,cause he could not get in or out of our bed. He told me all moldest went out the window. We did have to get a cather after a while. I'm prayering for you's.

Well back in 1996 I Placed a ad in Shelida Wood's (Globed) This is it " Peite blonde,47, seeks sincere,romantic,understanding,OTR truck driver,who needs friendship/love/loyalty for a caring marriage. Do you want a gypsy wife?" Well the woman he was leaseing the truck from at the time called for him caused he couldn't use the phone card for the 900 #. Well we got together. To find out we are both only kids. He was married 2 times. !st wife died. I was married 2 times. So we did not marry till 2000 on Oct.31 We dressed up John as a gunslinger and me as the schoolmarm sp? And had another guy be my brother with shotgun LOL Got married on the mountian top of the great smokey's with the Minster. It was beautful. I do remmber one time we were at a truck show and it do rain and big puddles were everywhere. John picked me up and carried me over them. He was my Big Guy ( John Wayne). The memeroies bring do bring tears but smiles at the same time. I'm so glad to have have to spent time with him. Thank you for bringing this up I did like reading about everyone's love. God Bless you'all

I'm praying for,Grace. Yes they seem to hurt the one they love,cause they trust us and know we can take it. J ohn didn't talk to me for about 2 weeks,cause he wanted to go after the big truck 1000 miles away. So he did get better after ahile. I acted like a duck and left it all run off me. My heart go's out to you,I know each step we take we don't know how the ground is going to feel. But you will make it cause you also have your beautful girls. God Bless,we are here to hear you out and help if only with words. Prayering

Thank you Randy for making the list. So many soul's gone just makes me stop and pray for a cure.

I think this is very nice. Some times I don't know where I belong anymore. I've been devirce 2 times and they say that is like death but, no it isn't. You can call up and yell at your ex and still see them. But when you husband passes,you can't do that you will never hear tere voice again. I try to hear John talking to me. I feel like a ball in one of those pin ball machine.I go from guilt, anger, accepting, can't believe.

Dear Grace, I'm praying for your DH,and you and girls. I'm crying with you I really hope and pray .

Sorry you are here,but this place can help. I will pray for your Mum and family. So you's can all be strong. God bless and I don't mind reading your post's . It helps us all to talk it out.

Treebywater. I do like the story of Job.

These people that ask Did he smoke? Should ask Did he serve in Vetnam, did he work with adbest? People with small minds ask small questions. I know my spelling isn't great LOL I know how you feel. Why GI's in WW11 got smokes from Gov. Among other things. If some people only knew what things really went on would be shocked. No one should be labed with caused the cancer. This THING CANCER can hit anybody at anytime . Pray for a cure!

John passed this afternoon at about 3:00. He doesnt have to suffer anymore. I just can't beleive all this happened. I will miss him very much. My Big Guy, keep it right side up!

I've been having the same sleepless nights. I'm up at all hours with John and when he does seem to settle in ,I will try to sleep and can't. I'll wake up and think I've heard him in my sleep calling. Sometimes I think I dream this.

I's the Social Worker that is giving problems. She is suppose to help with forms and sending them. She isn't doing it. The one nurse got after her today. Will see what gets done now. How long would it take to get records? And Hospice could let the VA know. This is very draining. You feel like you are fighting with everyone. And today John is getting restless. He told me if things don't change he is out of here! And wouldn't take pills and threw one. I know this is really hard for John. I may have done the same. I pray for a merical!

I have social worker a paper from VA about disabilty forms. She said she would get papers from Dr. Well I don't t can'tthink she did anything. That was on Monday and nurse came today and said about paper's to me. She said John seems good but can't walk. So on Monday she and social worker wil do anything come and see about test for John!!!! Now the dr's have the test and from day one they said this wasn't good. Why are they dragging there feet! I need help here. Well if I had the one form that Ia'm waiting for I would not wait for them. I don't care if they like it or not. And Monday they don't anything.Im going my self and not leaving Dr office till I get want I want! Just tried of the polictes and BS. And will report this Social worker in the end. John want to sit up on Monday they were leaving ,the phone ring(driver) John called and SHE said I will see what he wants. She came out and said he wanted to sit up. and this other aid was there the Minster was out the door. I was doing to say and get the Minster but Social Worker said WE DON"T DO THAT. I was speachless. Did I hear right! Is It Me?

So sorry you had this happen. My prayers are with you's. Some Doctor's are not nice!

Very nice idea. Your MOM would be proud of the girls. I bet your Mom is looking down and saying Right On! God bless your family many prayers.

So sorry. I will pray for you and your family. Your Mom is in God's arms now and at rest.

So sorry to read about your Mom. Prayers for her and you and family. I'm right with you CANCER SUCKS!

Nolan Miller the desigener just said On QVC he is feighting lung cancer. He had a lung removed and chemo. He made a heart pendent 3 hearts together and money going to lung cancer. Maybe he can get the word out and more help for everyone. Hope he contunes good health.

Sorry for the pain of your loved one. My husband was stared on 50 fentany patch,now on 100.This patch has helped John alot. For the pain and to breath better. My husband has nsclc to lung, nodes and to brain. Came back to brain and now nothing can be done just make comfortable. Prayers to you.

Kim, I'm so sorry for your loss of your Mom. My heart hurts for you and our family. May you find confort in knowing your Mom is at pease now. Prayers. God Bless.