j's girl

Hi Teri, I take probiotics for my ulcerative colitis. They are basically the "good bacteria" that live in your digestive tract. The same stuff that is in yogurt. I would recommend a brand that needs to be refrigerated. They are the most potent ones. But do talk to the oncologist before trying anything. In my Mom's case, her onc. wanted her to go off any of the naturpathic stuff during treatment and before surgery because they didn't know how it would affect treatment. Shauna

Kathleen, I think my Dad is having a lot of the same thoughts that you are right now. We just try to keep in mind that Mom's treatment decisions were made by her. She always asked our opinions but the final say always came down to her. That's what I keep in the back of my mind that helps me sleep at night. I also have to believe that God wanted our Moms and called them home. In my heart I know Mom did a great job of raising my brother and I and I guess it's our time to fly on our own. Shauna

Tiffsmom, I am so so sorry for your loss. I truely believe that your daughter's battle can make a difference in the fight against this terrible disease. She is exactly the opposite of the stereotype that has been attached to lung cancer. Please continue to fight in her memory. Again, my deepest condolences, Shauna

Ellie, I am so sorry to hear this news. Know that we are thinking and praying for you and your family. Shauna

Andrea, I just received my cook books way up here in very snowy Canada and they are amazing. I am also very excited to give them as Christmas gifts! Thank you, and everyone else who had a hand in them. You did a tremendous job. Shauna

So sorry Kim. It must feel like you're going through it all again. Once was already way too much. Shauna

Nick, the only thing we've really dealt with is Mom's clothes. My Brother's idea was to go through her clothes and pull out anything that "was her". Things she wore often, her favorites, and things she wore for special occassions, and have a quilt made with them. Mom's sister has all of them and will be making a few quilts for us. You might consider getting a baby quilt made? Shauna

Jackie, My Mom had similar problems in Saskatoon. She was diagnosed in early January and was told she probably wouldn't see an oncologist until sometime in March. Through lots of phone calls to whoever might listen, she found out that there was a cancellation list at the cancer clinic and she had to get herself on it. Within minutes of calling and leaving a message, she got a call back to say she could get in within a couple of weeks. My advice would be to get in touch with the Canadian Cancer Society and asked to be matched up with someone who lives close to you who also had lung cancer. (I can't remember the exact name of the program) That is where my Mom got lots of ideas about how to get the ball rolling. Keep us posted. If I think of anything else, I'll post again. Before Mom's lung cancer battle, I was adamently against private health care. Now I realize things have to change and personally, I think a mixed private/universal system would work. Right now the only thing univeral about our system is the waiting lists, Shauna

It's been almost 3 months since I lost my Mom. She died fairly suddenly and unexpectedly. This is the most difficult thing I've ever dealt with and I just don't feel like I'm getting the support I need from my husband. I'm not even sure what I should expect from him. All I know for sure is that whenever I try to talk to him about it, he gets defensive and it ends in an arguement. It's gotten to the point where I don't even try anymore. I'm keeping it all bottled up and am in the midst of a ulcerative colitis flair up. Stress has a huge effect on it. Through out Mom's illness I somehow managed to stay healthy. I just feel so alone. Shauna

I am so sorry! What an incredible Mom you had. And lucky to have such a fantastic daughter. Shauna

Hi Michele, I am so sorry. I recently lost my Mom to lc and would strongly urge you to tell your son. My Mom kept things to herself at first too. It was after she went to the doctor to get a prescription for anxiety that she told us. We rallied around her, went to all of her appointments with her and I like to think it helped her tremendously. Also, you definitely need to find a dr that you trust. It will help you physically and emotionally to know you're being well taken care of. Maybe there is something you can take for your anxiety. Waiting for results is so stressful. You might want to consider talking to your GP about the fact you can't eat or sleep. Those are both important for keeping your strength up for the fight ahead of you. Keep us posted and take care of yourself. Shauna

Nick, I so know what you are saying! I have one child that was Mom's only grandchild and the absolute best medicine for my Mom during her fight. Other than my husband and I, Mom really loved him most and it tears me apart that he won't have memories of her. However, I talk to him about her a lot, and I'm scrapbooking some neat things about her so hopefully when he's older he'll feel like he knows her. Now I often look at him and think that a quarter of my son is my Mom and she lives on through him. One truely incredible part of being a parent is realizing how your parents feel/felt about you. It is an overwhelming feeling. My Brother and his wife are expecting their first child in May. S/he was conceived just before Mom passed away. They just told us a couple of weeks ago. I cried when he told me partly tears of joy and partly tears of sadness. I have to believe that Mom knows their wonderful news but I'm sad that my Brother won't be able to experience Mom's joy, her pride and her excitement. I plan to make a scrapbook for their little one too. It is definitely unfair. I've always believed that everything happens for a reason, but I don't know if I'll ever comprehend the reason we've lost our Moms. Sorry, it's been a tough day for me too. Just know that having a child is an incredible experience that will bring you closer to your Mom. It really is the only way to truely know the love and pride she had for you. Shauna

Hi Jackie, so sorry you find yourself in this situation. My Mom was diagnosed about a year ago and I live a fair distance away too. Like your Mom, she took pills for everything you can imagine. In Mom's case, her oncologist said that those things (blood pressure, diabetes, etc.) shouldn't be a factor because they were well controlled with medication. As everyone else has said definitely get a 2nd opinion. Remember as hard as it is for you to get your head around this, it has to be so overwhelming for your Mom. She needs a person to gather information and options for her. Take that anger that you feel and put it to work for her and be her advocate. If you can help doing the "leg work" for her, she'll hopefully feel a little less overwhelmed and able to concentrate on the medical fight instead of the logistical fight. Let us know how things go. I'll be thinking about you. Shauna

Congrats Chris! I had a similar experience after Mom passed away. I told her that I was applying for a new job and got the application in the day before her death. I got a call a month after Mom passed away for the interview. It was a job that I've applied for before and never been interviewed for. Makes me wonder if my application always magically appeared at the top of the pile. I didn't get the job but wondered if Mom had a hand in my getting the interview. Congrats again and all the best. Shauna

Did anyone else catch the 3 second blurb on The View this morning? They stated how many people will die of lung cancer this year and in the same breath said if you smoke, try to quit. And that was it! I wrote in. This is what I wrote: Hi, First I'd like to say thank-you for mentioning lung cancer today in the hot topics. I'd like to ask you to put forward a little more detailed information. In my opinion, the information presented today made it sound like quitting smoking is the only way to prevent lung cancer. I recently lost my Mom to lung cancer. She quit smoking 17 years before her diagnosis. I'd like to refer you to a website (www.ielcap.org) that has the very latest research in the area of early detection of lung cancer. Frankly, quitting smoking can only save lives if cancer is detected early. Labeling lung cancer a "smoker's disease" is inacurate. 50% of people currently diagnosed are either nonsmokers or ex-smokers. It also perpetuates the stigma that is attached to lung caner that prevents it from gaining the funding required to save lives. In many areas, November has be designated as lung cancer awareness month. Thank you for recognizing it. Please also write. Maybe we can get a little more coverage that is a little more comprehesive. Here is the address http://abc.go.com/daytime/theview/ Just click on the "ask the viewmaster" button. Shauna

Dar, it is difficult enough to deal with your Mom's dx without all the extra stuff you've got going on. I empathize! Somewhere along the line, I remember you writing that your Mom used to sell stuff on ebay. Could you round up a bunch of stuff (kids toys, whatever) and ask her to list it for you? If it was me, I'd make up a lame excuse why I couldn't do it - like you don't have time (which you probably don't), but need the extra space for to make room in your house. Sounds like things are improving which is great. Shauna

I went through this a year ago with my Mom. And a friend, whose Mom also had lung cancer, told me "Hang in there, it gets better". Of course I thought, Ya right! But it does. Once you get past the shock of it and get on with treatment, you'll adjust. I'm sorry that you're going through this right now. I wish none of us had this to deal with. Best of luck and keep us posted. Shauna

I too lost my Mom fairly recently and am concerned about my Dad as well. I think it's important to just be with him as much as you can and for him to know that he can come to you whenever he needs to. My Dad seems to just want to get out of the house as much as he can. I live 5 hours away and my Brother is much closer so Dad spends a lot of time with him. Put one foot in front of the other and time will move on. Praying for you and your Dad. Shauna

I'm wondering what people think of flooding the daytime talk shows with emails about our lc stories. There was a lot of coverage about breast cancer last month. I think if they started receiving loads of emails about lc maybe it wouldn't be so ignored and getting it into main stream meadia might help lift the stigma a little. I think we should send our newspaper letters to the editor and personal stories. Any thoughts? Shauna

Nick, I am so impressed at the way you're tackeling this issue so head on. I want to give you a couple of links for groups I've recently discovered in Canada. www.lungcancercanada.ca is one and if you click on the "letter of support" in the bottom left corner, you'll read a letter from Sandie Rinaldo. She is a national news anchor who lost her husband to lc and has started a research grant fellowship in his name. Keep up the good work! Shauna

The path you are on is very familiar to me. Mom had the same difficutly making this decision. When faced with this choice, at this point in the treatment plan, we were told that statistically, survival rates were about the same, either way - surgery or chemo. In my Mom's case, her oncologist said that given the amount of chemo she had left to take and the amount of cancer that was there, he wasn't optomistic. It sounds like your Mom's oncologist is more optomistic and that is good! We had a surgery date booked and Mom didn't make the actual decision until the day before surgery. We sat down and wrote out the pros and cons of both options. But in the end, Mom always chose the most agressive options and for her, there really wasn't a choice. If she was going to fight it, she had to have surgery. It doesn't sound like this is the case for your Mom. Talk to the surgeon. I talked to Mom's surgeon while Mom listened in on another phone. You and your Mom should make a list of questions and concerns to talk to him about. Let him know that your Mom is listening in and tell her to jump in if there is something she needs clarification about. Mom's white count was really high too. We were told that lung infections are common because the tumor can block off part of the lung which becomes infected. It's a good sign that her count is normal now! I also know what you mean when you talk about not being able to forgive yourself if something happened. Even though Mom made all of the final decisions, she always knew where I stood on things. When her 2 hour surgery took 5 hours and when complications arose afterwards, I had so wished I would have convinced her to go the other route. It's gut wrenching, but I also have to believe God will make the final final decision. Your Mom will make the right decision. There are never any wrong decisions. Support her, love her, and she'll do what is best for her. Hope all goes well and keep us posted, Shauna

Nick, what a wonderful and fitting tritute to your Mom. I bet you'll have the most beautiful flowers ever this spring! Shauna

Kat, I can't even pretend to understand your pain right now. My prayers are for peace and comfort for you and your family. Shauna

Dawn, I am sorry this is happening. It is so hard to deal with the diagnosis itself let alone all the other issues too. Is your Mom taking any steriods? They can really send blood sugar through the roof! They can also effect mood and temperment as well. My Mom started on steriods but had to be talken off because of her blood sugar. It's good that she's in hospital for the time being. Maybe some of this is related to her blood sugar and some "tinkering" with her meds might help straighten things out. It will also give you and your Dad a bit of a break. I hope things turn around for you soon. Shauna

Good job Tina! Shauna