Carleen, I ached through every word you wrote. I just want you to know I am praying for you and Keith also.
As for IVF, I had my twins 16 years ago, and I wasn't covered by insurance. I just used up all my credit cards and cash advances and everything else. My husband (now ex-husband) was a student at the time and we had no money, but we had credit cards! I maxed out all my cards, because it took 4 in vitro's before it took. I am still paying off my credit cards, but that's OK. Anyway, I know you are so overwhelmed right now, but keep this in mind. When you are feeling better, maybe you can get back into the IVF saddle and worry about the debt later (I know this may not be the best advice, but I also know the reality of the IVF expense).
Love and hope,
Alisa