palves

Oh my g-d .. I'm sitting here at work crying .. How can this happen. I'm just in shock. Paula

The child care center where my daughter goes has a hop a thon for the kids. Paula

Bob - I was truly sorry to hear about Fay's passing. She will be very much missed by all her family and friends at LCSC. I hope that similarly to her, that you can use this forum to find some comfort. Paula

Oh my .. good thoughts are being passed his way. Paula

Anyone need support, a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen, LMK. I'm here in Central NJ.

Ginny - just saw this message. My thoughts are with Devin. But it sounds like the surgeon is not alarmed and I think that should make you feel a tad better. If they thought it was more I'm sure they would be more aggresssive. I'm glad she is going to get it out though since it not fun having to worry about it - I will revisit the surgeon in another couple of months and we will talk about removal of mine. We have been in a see and wait mode, but its starting to bother me about just watching and not doing. Paula

Fay Thanks so much for all you have done for all of us. Its time for us to give to you. Rest comfortably and know that your friends and family are nearby and always thinking of you. Love and peace Paula

My dad did - he was stage IIIB and he was accepted first shot (there was something like a 3 mo wait though - I can't recall exactly). I believe they did say though he was terminal and I think since he was a driver in the city his type of work he couldn't do with chemo/radiation. But I'm not really sure about the "wording" used. I just saw the other message regarding SS Dis vs SS. As I understand it my dad at 62 was able to get SS Dis. At 65 he would get only SS. And yes SSD is more than SS from what I understand. Paula

Black, black and black. Ok, some grey too... Paula

My rabbi told me its best not to hide the truth. The suggestion was to answer my sons questions honestly but more on an as to need to know basis. If he asked, answer, if he didn't ask not necessarily provide. I've taken the approach to answer his questions, provide him with information at a high level rather than at the real detailed level. Yes he has cancer, yes its in the lungs, yes he is going to get chemo/radiation to try to kill the bad cells. He will have some good days and some bad days. If you are sick you can't be around him because he doesn't have enough of the good cells to fight infection. Yes, its spread to the brain and it affects his coordination and eating, etc. He is going to have radiation to try to help him. Hopefully it will help, if not we will try to see if there is something else. Yes, he will die - eventually, may or may not be from the cancer. We all die at some point, etc. If you want to talk about it let me know. I'll always do my best to answer your questions, etc. Its worked so far . When my dad was first diagnosed and Ryan asked me all these questions (most of the time as I was taking him to school), I told his teachers so that they wouldn't be blind sided. Hope this helps. Paula

TAnn - good luck. My dad had both plus a third one as part of a Phase II trial. He tolerated all very well. Occassionally a feeling of unease on Sats (treatment was Weds maybe ?) but otherwise felt pretty good (see the sig). If I remember correctly he would have been as Group 3 from http://www.cancer.gov/search/ViewClinic ... id=2061798 "Patients will be randomly assigned to one of three groups. Patients in group one will receive an infusion of gemcitabine on days 1 and 8. They will also receive an infusion of carboplatin on day 1. Patients in group two will receive gemcitabine as in group one and a 3-hour infusion of paclitaxel on day 1. Patients in group three will receive paclitaxel as in group two and carboplatin as in group one. Treatment in all groups may be repeated every 3 weeks for up to six courses. Quality of life will be assessed periodically. Patients will be evaluated every 3 months." Paula

Andrea - hope everything is ok. Did you talk w the Dr? Paula

I don't generally make New Years resolution, but this year I will be working to spend more time w/ my kids, continue my weight loss and looking to find a job that I am happy with. Paula

Just saw Update in Obituary forum Paula

Oh {{{Beth}}} so sorry to hear this news. My thoughts are with you and your and Bill's family. Paula

Oh {{{Pat}}}, I'm so sorry to hear this news. Brian was a fighter to the end. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Paula

All in all uneventful and I did not make it too midnight - I think a lot of it is depression and exhaustion. But, I do like to try to do something though since my son's birthday is 1/1. So we went to an early w/ some friends and their kids. Came home, lit the chanukah candles and DH and son watched the GIANTS win !!!!!!!!!! I did puzzles w/ Ashleigh and put her to sleep normalish time. I went to sleep around 10:30.

Sundrop - After many questions as far as I understand it now, the extra boost that the radiologist described was actually the stereotactic radiosurgery (it wasn't the brand name Cyberknife or Gammaknife, but w/o referring to my notes I can't recall what it was but it parallels those). My dads tumor was/is in the center of the brain affecting the organs vs memory (he was throwing up or dry heaving constantly). The location makes it inoperable. The approach they took (Dr describes it as CA vs rest of states - although I'm not sure I fully agree) was to do WBR to address the tumor, try to shrink it, clear up the 2nd tumor on the skull, and go from there. The SRS was to do a direct hit to the main tumor as it had shrunk some w/ WBR but was still there. Interesting thoughts w/ chemo vs radiation. I know that we experienced similar thoughts when talking surgery vs radiation for his primary tumor Surgeons said they might be able to remove, general onc said no they wouldn't (location) w/o removing entire lung, radiation onc agreed w/ general onc. I'm sure a part of it was based too on their own specialties. I'm trying not to second guess our decision, but like you it sure is hard not too. Especially for me when I see my dad lately not functioning that well. I'm nervous about the results of the scans as I won't be there for the appt as I have to be in AZ for work. I feel like they need my support, but maybe its me that needs that reassurance of going to the Dr to see whats really up. I can "get out" of my business trip, but from a career perspective I don't think it would be a wise thing to do (all the other team members will be there). Where do you draw the line?????? Paula (Who is also 41, born in 64 as I see from your login you are as well, but who will be 42 in 11 more days .

I have to say I'm paralleling Sundrop on this one. This has really made me scared and nervous. My family looks to me to try to help figure out the best source of treatment. My dad has has WBR and stereotactic radiosurgery now. But I'm so questioning myself and this choice. I pushed for it as I had not heard many negatives, only positives. The way it all was presented was that if this didn't take place the swelling, etc would eventually kill him. So what choice did we really have, but then .... Even having the "extra boost" as it was called the effects they discusse were more concerning for patients that were older than my dad (he is 64) or for patients with more progression and then the way it was presented was that for those folks dymentia, etc. in I can't remember the amount of time wouldn't really matter as more than likely it would be post the time they would be living (I know horrible to say). So I'm not sure what I'm trying to say other than that I am scared and nervous based on all this, but I guess we made the best choice we could at the time. Paula

Cheryl - although my dad did not have seizures, he was told not to drive during the period he had WBR. They repeated his neurological tests before giving the go ahead. It was a VERY tough situation at home because of this. Additionally, he later had stereotactic radiosurgery and was told not to drive for 2 weeks as well. He is driving now and seems ok. BUT like I said it was tough and what I did was at one point tell him to write a letter to the family that he might kill so I have something to give them in case there was a problem. Regarding diabetes and steroids, my dad is also a diabetic (insulin dependent) and yes the steroids wreck havoc. The endocronologist gave him a different formula to try to follow with regard to the units to take during the steroid period. Good luck Paula

I did the same exact thing as you. Same situation with same results thankfully. Followup in January. So bottom line is I agree. Paula

Where do I go to order these? How much are they? I can't remember where to go and I'm running out of steam looking. Thanks Paula palves@optonline.net

L'Shana Tovah to you as well. Just got back from services myself. Had dinner w/ my parents last night - bitter sweet. The tumor is still there even after WBR. On to radiosurgery .... Hope this year is a great one for all of us. Paula

Met my DH at a college party on 9/9/82. I had to hang w/ the freshman (I was a sophmore) as all my friends were up and at the bar and I wasn't of age ... He was one of the freshman group I was a mentor for. And for those who might wonder, he is actually **3** days older than me. We have known each other now for 23 years, married 17.

Kurt - my thoughts are with you and your family during this time. May you find comfort in your family and friends. Paula