Lyn

I hear you, Ann. I have no Christmas spirit this year. It feels even worse than the last two years since she passed. I hope it gets better as Christmas gets closer. I used to love Christmas. Christmas was always spent with my Mom & Dad and is just not the same without them here. It just reminds me of what I am missing. We always had a fun time at the holidays. It seems like I am just going through the motions. Lyn

Lori, are there any other nursing homes in your area you could check into and see if there care is better? My father is in a Nursing Home in New York State and he is very well taken care of. My mother was also cared for in this facility very well, much better than in the hospital. Sounds like you have her in a poor place. Nursing homes are all a little different and you really have to check them out. There are some good ones out there, though (at least around here). I thank God I had those nurses to take care of my Mom when she was sick. They were very caring and wonderful to her and to me. I'm sorry you are going through this. It is hard enough without the added stress. But the staff there should be cleaning her, changing her bed, feeding her, etc. That's what they are getting the big bucks for. Maybe you should report them to the state board that licenses them.

Thank you for posting this. My mother suffered from memory problems and dementia for two years before she was diagnosed with lung cancer. In retrospect, I always believed that the cancer was causing her symptoms. She had every brain test and dementia test available (MRI's & CT scans & EEG). They could not find anything wrong with her brain. She may have been suffering from this. She was also weak and had headaches. Lyn

Hi Jen, I am so sorry you are going through this. Your symptoms sound a lot like the symptoms I have been having for a couple of months now. I had a severe allergic reaction to shellfish and after that starting having anxiety attacks and stressing myself and worrying about everything. Your symptoms may be related to stress and anxiety. I would talk to your doctor about it. I'm still trying to figure out what is wrong with me. We have ruled out a lot of allergies, so are now onto stress related/anxiety issues. I know it is very debillatating. God bless.. Lyn

When my husband had Lasik eye surgery, the doctor had him take flaxseed oil capsules twice daily to help keep his eyes moist. It really worked, and he is still taking them (just once a day now). It helps with dryness in other parts of the body, too. Lyn

My Mom also shed one tear, but it was not right before she passed. It was after her stroke. It was the first time I saw her and she could not move at all, but her eyes were open. I was pretty upset and crying and she shed one tear. I will never forget it. She never recovered from the stroke and passed away shortly after. Lyn

Hi Margaret, A couple of the nurses in the Nursing Home where my Mom was told me that they could smell cancer. These two were hospice nurses, also. So, there may some truth to it. Lyn

Hi Nancy, My Mom had short term memory loss for two years before she was diagnosed with SCLC. They did all kinds of tests on her brain to try to find out what was causing it and never could find anything! I think it was the cancer in her system all that time causing it. The doctors told me that cancer live in your system for years before showing up in the form of tumors. Good luck with your PCI. God Bless.. Lyn

When you leave employment or go on an unpaid leave of absence, your employer has to offer you health coverage under the COBRA law for 18 months. They have to notify you in writing of this. You are able to continue your health coverage and pay for it at the company rate. You will have to pay the premiums for all of the months she was not covered, but it sure will beat the hospital/surgery costs! They can make your coverage retroactive back to when she was uncovered and the insurance should pay for her medical bills. Lyn (Human Resources Employee)

I was just at this site the other day and it talks about how people oxidize their foods differently depending on their "system". It is an interesting read. It sounds like your system may be prone to being either acidic or alkaline depending on how you metabolize your food. I know I fit into one of these categories by the way they describe them. Pretty interesting stuff. http://www.well-net.com/dietary/3oxid1.html Lyn

Cheryl, Is there anyone else in your company that handles discrimination complaints? We have a Director of Equity/Diversity that also helps people with sexual harassment/discrimination complaints. So sorry you have a cad for an H.R. Director. They are supposed to help people with their problems, not contribute to them. Hang in there!! Lyn

Hi Cheryl, I'm so sorry for you having to deal with such inconsiderate co-workers. I can't believe people are so hearltess. I work for the Director of Human Resources at a public college. Is there a Human Resources Director where you work that you feel comfortable talking with. If I were you, I would talk with the Director of H.R. and let them know what is going on before someone else complains about you. This way he/she will have direct info from you on your condition and can see for themself that you are competent. You never know what levels people will stoop to. Also, I don't believe you can legally sue your employer while you are currently employed. After you leave, yes, but not while a current employee. God Bless you... Lyn

Angie, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I went through a lot of this with my Mom, but not as bad as your Dad. She was in a Nursing Facility, though. Is he taking a drug called Haldol? They gave this drug to my Mom in the hospital to "control" her. The nurses at the Nursing Hom were very upset when they saw this was administered to her. They said they are not allowed to give this drug to patients but hospitals can. It can have some very bad side effects and is probably altering his personality. Ask the doctor about it and see if he can be taken off. Just wanted to share what I know about this drug. God Bless.. Lyn

Hi, Roswell Park Cancer Institute is in downtown Buffalo just across the Peace Bridge in Fort Erie, Ontario. It is a very good facility with the latest treatments. I can send you the phone number if you want and you could call them and ask about referrals, etc. I think you only need a referral if your insurance company requests one. Lyn

Our pharmacist told me that Naproxen and Aleve are the same thing. If you look at the ingredients on the Aleve bottle, it is Naproxen. The Aleve you can buy over the counter. I'm glad I read this thread. My husband's doctor prescribed Celebrex for him and he is allergic to Sulpha drugs, too. I didn't know Celebrex had sulfa in it. Lyn

Hi Fran, I work in a Human Resources Dept., so am familiar with FMLA. Anytime anyone is out on any kind of medical leave, our company counts that toward their 12 weeks FMLA. I believe you are only allowed 12 weeks per year. So, your disability may count as your FMLA, too. Check with your H.R. Office where you work. Personally, I would take the disability pay if you can, but I beleive you will need to get a doctor to certify that you are unable to work due to your own medical condition. God Bless, Lyn

I think you are making a wise decision. My Mom was also not in the best of health and the chemo and radiation really made her sick and weaker and she had no quality of life. If I had to do it over again I would not do such aggressive treatment for her. She was in and out of the hospital for months until she passed with many medical problems. God Bless... Lyn

Don, Please don't be so hard on yourself. You loved your mother and made the best decisions you could at the time. Hindsight is alwasy 20/20. I was my mother's primary caregiver, too, and after she passed I was questioning every decision I made. Thank God my husband kept telling me to stop, that I made the best decisions I could at the time. You will get over the anger and realize this in a little while. Your Mom's passing is still too new. Cancer is a HORRIBLE disease and that is what took you mother's life, not you! I don't think a lot of the doctor's monitor their patients well enough and check for complications. The nurses at the Nursing facility where my mother was told me they didn't know which was worse the cancer or the treatment. I think the elderly with health problems need to be treated differently than younger, more healthy people. I think they just treat everyone with the same protocol. If I had to do my mother's treatments over they would be completely different. I also blame the doctors for a lot of my Mom's problems and would never refer anyone I know to them. Just wanted you to know you are not alone in your thinking. Lyn

Hi Larry, Oh yes, Satan is alive and well in the world. One has only to look around at all the evils in the world, disease, wars, murders, etc. And, yes, one of his greatest lies is that he does not exist and to blame all the bad things in the world on God. There are many, many evil spirits in this world. It sounds like you have the gift to actually see them. Some people do. Not everyone can. I can feel them. My husband can see them through his spirit, not with his eyes. I know there are people who can though. You are not crazy!! This is a gift from God, so you can pray and get rid of them. Hope this helps. I love spiritual things. Lyn

Gayle, your post brings tears to my eyes. My dear mother has been gone for five months now and I still cannot think of her without tears and overwhelming sadness. It is still so horribly painful. Hopefully, in time our pain will ease and we will see them again. God Bless and keep you... Lyn

Hi Robin, I think from what I remember reading is that you can usually go one or two weeks without food or water. My Mom went through this, too. It is so heartbreaking. She was in a Nursing Home, so they took care of her (thank God). They did a wonderful job, too. I was only five minutes away so I could go over every day and check on her. It's got to be 100 times harder when you're taking care of her yourself. At least she is in no pain. My Mom wasn't either. She was on a feeding tube, though. Lyn

Robin, my Mom had the same symptoms your mother is having. She just gradually got weaker and weaker. She finally ended up having a bad stroke which left her bedridden. She did not have any brain radiation, just radiation to her lung and two doses of chemo. The doctors didn't really know what caused the stroke. She had a previous stroke a year prior. I think her system just couldn't handle the treatments plus she was not eating or drinking enough. It is very hard to watch your mother go through that. My heart goes out to you. The doctor's just blamed it on the cancer. She had a catscan of her brain after the stroke and there were no tumors in her brain. She had no pain either. I wonder if the cancer and/or radiation effects their nervous system somehow. I don't think even the doctors know what effects cancer has on people. They really don't tell you enough about the potential dangers of these treatments. Lyn

My mother was also extremely fatigued from radiation. It just got progressively worse. Her tumor was shrinking but I think the radiation was too much for her. She could not get out of bed either without assistance after a few weeks of radiation. She would also fall and be unstable on her feet. Thank God she never broke anything. She had had a previous stroke (about a year prior), so she had some other health problems. She wouldn't eat or drink either. She ended up having another stroke during radiation so make sure they monitor her for blood clots. Her doctors were not.

Good post and good points made, Andrea. It was not offensive at all (to me anyway). And, BTW, I like and appreciate your humor and your posts. Lyn

Hi Peggy, When my Mom was first diagnosed, the onc ordered a bone scan of her entire body to see if there were mets anywhere. She also had a cat scan of her lungs. I believe he wanted these tests to schedule the proper radiation and chemo treatments (plus staging). These were done before any radiation or chemo. Lyn