Melinda

Berisa, I am truly sorry to hear about your dad. Thank you for letting us know. There are no words... As everyone else has already expressed with great eloquence, you have been a gracious and caring daughter, care-giver, and soul throughout your father's battle. He must have been an extraorinary man to have raised such a daughter. Please know that our thoughts are with you and we are "here" in case you need to talk through these difficult times. Sincerely, Melinda

Lisa, My gosh... A possible fourth primary? Your original post did lead to a VERY interesting string -- (Fay--I had no idea!) --esp for those of us who are female out here... About a month ago, I remember feeling strange finding myself "hoping" that Connie would find herself dx'd with a fungus. Now I fond myself in a similarly odd boat hoping that you are simply stable and "cystic". Hang in there--but have them monitor this carefully!!! Melinda

John-- Given that I have one mom with lc and one with bc--double thanks! Melinda

Carla, The process may not have been simple--but I'll take the outcome! Glad to hear that things are better. Melinda

Ray- Thanks for the post! We will try to tape it on May 1st. Melinda

Shelly, You and your husband are in our thoughts and prayers--We are hoping for both a quick and GOOD dx. (although we understand your "cancer-paranoia" ALL TOO WELL!!!) Question: Who to you have to turn to (who is in the same zip code as you are) during this time? Please find someone--you need to take care of yourself during this extremely stressful period. Melinda

Thank you, Andrea! Melinda

Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Melinda and Geoff

Our thoughts are with you! Melinda

TBone, I am a little late responding here. Sorry. When my mom had chemo for her first round with breast cancer over 12 years ago--it was AWFUL!!! (Really--her stories make you want to crawl under the sofa.) And she's no shrinking violet (she didn't even tell anybody that she HAD cancer until she couldn't deny it entirely in a "stiff upper-lip fashion" any more b/c her hair all fell out. Even then, she only told immediate family and two friends--and let everybody else guess. This was before everyone was running around bedecked with pink ribbons, etc.). She said it was worse than the radiation and the surgery combined. Therefore, we were terrified when both she and Geoff's mom were dx'd this year. However, 12 years is "light years" (her words) in medical technology (even though there are some days when it really does seem like cancer research has been getting nowhere, fast). Geoff's mom didn't seem to have ANY side effects to her 3 weeks of chemo that she had when she was getting her chest radiated. Really. NONE. I was in shock. It was the chest RADIATION that made her miserable (esp. her esophagus). (And she was treated by the same onc. as my mom was 12 years ago!) That being said, there are different meds and doses of chemo and each person is an INDIVIDUAL who may respond differently to the treatment. It is your life and your body--only you know how you feel (physically and emotionally). After what I've seen with "my two moms", however, I would say that chemo is worth giving a shot--esp. when the cancer is systemic. It is one of our best weapons in the arsenal, at the moment, for keeping us "stable". I am so very sorry that you have been in so much pain, TBone. Please PM me if there is anything we can do--or if you woulod like to talk with any of us in greater detail about chemo. Melinda

Abby, I wish that I had words that would provide insight and/or solace. Unfortunately, I am afriad that I have neither. Nonetheless, I feel compelled to respond to your post, albeit in a clumsy manner. Ada's husband, Jim W's words seemed to reflect both your own and echo a post that curtisg (Beckyg's husband) posted recently that also made me just cry and curl up in a fetal position: "I remember reading one of the posts a couple of weeks ago. It was bad news, either the cancer had spread or remission had ended, and my first emotion was one of jealousy. I so miss getting news from the oncologist. What I wouldn't trade, even for some bad news right now. Then I immediately felt guilty, of course. But in some ways, my life is more relaxed now. I am not running oxygen tanks back and forth to Becky's office. I am not having to go to the pharmacy. Most of all, I do not see Becky hurting all the time. There were good days and bad days down the stretch, but I don't think Becky really felt good since early December, and watching her hurt was just terrible. I didn't realize the drain on me until it was gone. Though I would give anything to have it back. " I hope you don't mind my quoting you, curtis. Beckyg, like Ada and your Jim, Abby, certainly did not want to die. And sure as heck, they did not want to leave their loved ones. But they DID all love YOU--and love LIFE. That's a large part of what made them such wonderful people. Even in the face of such adversity, they were the kind of people that we all admire and wish we could be more like. They demonstrated--simply through the way they lived their lives--the better side of humanity. Please try to some comfort in the fact that you and Jim had the wonderful time you spent together--so many people live long lives, but ones that are far less happy. Living in New York City, I see so many people who live their ENTIRE lives crowded among other people, but yet completely alone. Abby, I cannot fathom what you are feeling right now (as I have not been through it)--but I can tell just from how you describe the relationship that you had with Jim that even though he is no longer with you (and regardless of your religious beliefs)--that you are not alone. Part of him will ALWAYS be with you. That is the lasting gift that you gave to each other. My thoughts are with you during this truly difficult time. Melinda

Carlton, As we have not yet crossed the Iressa bridge yet, I am afraid that I do not have any advice to give to you. I simply wanted to say that my fingers are crossed for you and that after reading this string of posts, I had tears streaming down my face. This--YOU ALL (and the support, knowledge, and advice you so generously offer)--are what make this board such a special, indespensible place. Bless you all. Melinda P.S.--Carlton, please keep us posted.

TBone, We are so happy to read this. May you stay on THIS path for a good, long while! Melinda

Dear all, I'm sorry I have been MIA these last few weeks. Things became a tad too crazed in my life and I really didn't have the emotional energy to check the board--let alone contribute much. Please accept my apologies. As you may have read, Geoff and I did have the great pleasure of meeting Denise in Central Park (New York City) at the second annual TLG Classic, as well as the dedicated and determined family and staff related to this event (that raised over $500,000 on Sunday for lc research at Memorial Sloan Kettering). As you may have also read, Denise and her family need our thoughts and prayers right now. As for me--I have gotten strep throat and pneumonia from my fifth graders (at least I didn't get scarlet fever, like one of them!). So, even though I have 1,000,001 things to do; my boss at school on my case for being out sick; and incredible guilt that I have "contaminated" Geoff so that he can't risk seeing his mom for a few days--my body is FORCING me to listen to it and REST. The horrible part about it is that with the strep (hoarse) and the pneumonia (bad cough)--I sound so much like Geoff's mom does now. He used to come home to get a break from that stressful, worrisome sound--and now he is trapped with me making it (albeit, in a far less serious situation). The poor, poor man. The FAR more important news is that his mother made it through two weeks of WBR with limited side effects--is on a week's break -- and goes in for a CT scan on Friday. We all want to thank you so much for all of your thoughts, prayers, and well-wishes. I have been remiss in not responding to many of your kind thoughts; a fact for which I am truly sorry. I just found it very emotionally difficult to be on the board recetly, for some reason. I don't really know why. Please forgive me for being both rude and weak. Back to bed for me. Sincerely, Melinda

Geoff's mom has a CT scan on Friday 4/30/04--so we understand all too well how you are feeling... Our thoughts are with you now--and will certainly be so on Monday. Melinda and Geoff

Christina-- Don't you dare beat yourself up! If there is one thing this site teaches all of us (not that we all listen all of the time !), it is that we MUST listen to our bodies and take care of our health (patients, caregivers, and former caregivers, all!). I have been MIA in great part due to the fact that I have gotten strep throat and pneumonia from my fifth graders (at least I didn't get scarlet fever, like one of them!). So, even though I have 1,000,001 things to do, my school on my case for being out sick, and incredible guilt that I have "contaminated" Geoff so that he can't risk seeing his mom for a few days--my body is FORCING me to listen to it and REST. The horrible part about it is that with the strep (hoarse) and the pneumonia (bad cough)--I sound so much like Geoff's mom does now. He used to come home to get a break from that stressful, worrisome sound--and now he is trapped with me making it (albeit, in a far less serious situation). The poor, poor man. My point is, though, Christina--you did the RIGHT thing. We did miss meeting you--but there will be other opportunities (when we are both well!). I hope you are feeling beter. Melinda

Hi, all-- Sorry I have been MIA. Things have been a tad crazy, so I haven't been on the board for a few weeks the way I usually am. My apologies. Geoff and I will be there tomorrow, as well. I will be wearing a kaki-green baseball hat that reads, "The Hideout", on the front and sunglasses. I have also PM'd y'all both of our cell phone numbers. I look forward to good weather and meeting all of you. Sincerely, Melinda

Peg, I am so sorry to hear about Bill. There are no words... Please know that our thoughts are with you and we are "here" in case you need to talk through these difficult times. Sincerely, Melinda

Peggy, Thank you for letting us know. I am so extremely sorry... Please let them know they are in our thoughts and prayers. Melinda and Geoff

Mo, Sugar feeds the cancer--throw it out or give it away!!! We've all been trying to help my mom and future MIL by sticking to the same "no sugar" diet that they are on--it's hard--but doable. I've even gotten "no sugar" foods to be served at faculty meetings! Ask those around you for moral support. I know if it there (esp. chocolate)--I will eat it. So I gave all the Easter candy my students gave me away. That was the only way I knew to manage my cravings. Good luck. Melinda

Berisa, I hope that you, your dad, and your family have a WONDERFUL day tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you. Melinda

Karen-- Please forgive my belated post. Thank you for posting--we had been wondering how things went on Tuesday. I am so thrilled to hear how well your surgery went. Horray for clean margins, no pain, and being able to go home! I am sorry to hear that you have to undergo WBR--as you know, we are in the same boat. But your positive attitude and faith--anything is possible! You are in our thoughts and prayers. Melinda

Oh, TAnn! As horrified as I am to realize what discomfort and pain (both physically and emotionally) you are in, I, too, am glad that you are not dealing with it on your own. I am glad, however, that they are draining all that pleural fluid from around your lung--THAT could not have been comfortable, either! I know what you mean about not wanting to "look at it". My mom--a stoic steel magnolia--could not bear to look at the horrible external evidence of her antibiotic resistant staph infection that we were having to try and drain several times a day a few months ago (not including the daily visits to the doctor's office to do the same thing). She would just shut her eyes and I would "take care of business" (donning latex gloves after I had sterilzed the entire area of the bathroom that we would be in). It seemed endless--and she was in so much pain (and the doctor's couldn't clear it up!). That, too, has passed (finally!)--and she was able to heal and proceed with the next step in the treatment for her cancer. Hang in there--keep the gauze sterile and fresh and the area dry--and best wishes to both you and your husband. Melinda

What a relief to have a correct diagnosis. I, too, know long-term survivors of Hodgkin's lymphoma. Now on to getting the proper treatment for your uncle! I am thrilled to hear he is responding well to the chemo. You and your family will be in our thoughts--and I hope you find another board like this one that focuses on lymphoma. Best wishes, Melinda