stand4hope

Peg, So HAPPY to hear you have Bill home for Easter!! I, too, will have a better Easter now knowing that he is home with you, and where he probably feels a lot more comfortable. God bless you and your family!! Peggy

Hi Stephanie, I'm new here but have been following your posts. I'm so sorry about your loss. I lost my mom 5 years ago and now my dad is struggling on a ventilator and probably doesn't have much time left. It's just so hard - there's no getting around it. It does get better - the time it takes is different for everyone. I can now laugh about some of the stuff my mom did, but still struggle a little every Mother's Day. My dad (age 76) likes to tell me about his "honey" friends that fuss over him (these are friends he has at the local American Legion (women 30 years younger than him that I know just love him to pieces for who he is because he sure doesn't have any money they could be after). When he starts in with some hooey dooey about one of them kissing him on the cheek or something, I love to tell him: "If Mom was here, she was said you were full of . . . (well, you know the rest)." May God's blessing of comfort be on you forever, Stephanie! Peggy

BEAUTIFUL!! and oh, so, so true!!! Thanks for sharing that, Mo. Peggy

HORRORS upon HORRORS! How can this be? I am NEVER at a loss for words, but honestly can't think of anything to say. I'm just staring at the keyboard. I can tell you one thing, if I lived "North of Boston", I would be there to hug you until you fell asleep and got some much needed rest. I just prayed the simplest prayer: God, send her some some help - NOW - PLEASE!! He's already there! Much love and compassion, Peggy

Dear Andrea, Like the others, I too am so sorry you have to go through this. Please try to not feel guilty for wanting your precious mom's suffering to end. I was with my mom almost continuously the last two weeks of her life spent in the hospital and with her around the clock the last four days (she too had lung cancer). I grew closer to my mom in those two weeks than I did in the total previous 49 years and I wouldn't trade those precious moments for anything. Those last four days, however, I did pray that God would just take her and stop all the suffering once and for all. He did. I was with her when she drew her last breath and cried like there was never going to be a tomorrow, but inside I was so happy that she didn't have to suffer anymore. Guilt is not allowed - it's ok to feel the way you do! May God's love, peace and comfort come to you in abundance at this difficult time!!! Peggy

Thank you, Snowflake. When I read your post, I immediately took a big deep breath. I already knew to do that, but didn't even think of it. My emotions are always at the raw edge - been like that since I was a little girl. [You wrote: It's a stage, it will come and go as life goes on.] Nope! That part won't happen. At 55, I know it isn't going to change, but I guess if I had to choose between my emotional triggers and being without them, I would choose the emotions. When you hurt, I hurt and that's just the way I'm built. I wrote to Ry (PM) after I made the post about Peg and Bill and told her that I didn't know if I could stay because the sad things hit me so hard. Like she said, it's hard to stay, but it's hard to go, too. I've lost a mom, grandmas and grandpas, relatives and friends, and even a baby son, but I have the hardest time with the husband/wife thing. I've been married to my man for more years than you've been born, and God wasn't kidding when he said the two become one flesh. Just the thought of a permanent separation from that bond of all bonds just about pushes me over the edge - and it doesn't even matter if it's not me facing the pain. But, guess what, I'm going to breathe and breathe and breathe if that's what will help me get through the sad news that hits this site, because I decided that I AM GONNA STAY!!!!

Peg asked me to let you all know that Bill has been in the hospital since April 1 and that he isn't doing well at all. I wondered why I hadn't seen any posts from her, so I PM'd last night and she replied this morning at about 7:00 a.m. (I just now saw her message). She was heading back to the hospital. I communicated w/Peg via PM before I joined the board because we both had the same name, live in Indiana, our hubby's are about the same age and have nearly identical dx. I've been a member for such a short period of time and really don't know any of you, not even Peg, but I am wiping the dripping tears from eyes as I type this. When God passed out "sensitivity", I'm afraid he gave me an overdose. Peg, when you see this, I am sending you my love, my hugs, and my prayers that Bill will pull through. Peggy

Thank you, Melinda. I can't believe you put in the time to look at the big explanation for me. That was really a very, very nice thing to do. I do know 2 out of 3 of the acronyms you listed. COPD is chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, which is usually (but not always) emphysema or chronic bronchitis. My dad has severe COPD, and is in fact hospitalized on a ventilator with that disease right now. WBRT is whole brain radiation treatment. This was the very first treatment my husband received (daily for 2 wks) because this was really the only place he was symptomatic. I looked up PCI last week, but I've already forgotten what it stands for. I just read your MIL's history. Boy, she really has a lot of areas to be treated! How is she coping with so much all at once? It also looks like it was all discovered in such a short period of time, and then you mother is also having trouble. You and Geoff look very, very young. How are the two of you coping with all of this?

Ok, this is another glossary quiz? (Remember me, I'm the dorky one that tried to use fake names and asked what was NED, tx & dx?) What is a PET scan? What are "hot spots" and "cold spots"? and What do you mean by the x-ray "lighting up"? I'm assuming hot spots and lighting up probably mean cancer, but do they relate to a certain type of cancer? or to a certain type of scan? Peggy (really, really - but he's still gotta be Tony for now)

EIGHT TIMES!! I see you've been at this for almost two years - WOW! To me, that doesn't s*ck, that SINGS!!!!! It's music to my ears to see that you have had lung cancer, brain mets, and all the other stuff, and you're even in remission. Do you have any idea how encouraging that is to me? I do know the anticipation really does s*ck, and the procedures and inconvenience aren't much fun either, so please don't take my message wrong. All I can say to you is that I'm sending up a HUGE prayer for you that you continue to see the great progress you've seen so far! God be with you! Peggy

Hi TBone, We haven't met yet - I'm only 1-day old here, but I've been lurking long enough that I've seen your name a LOT. Sorry to hear you're having so much fatigue and pain in your leg. I pray that both will get better for you soon. In the meantime, Cheryl, I don't have cancer, but I think I'm feeling some of that fatigue coming on all of a sudden, so if TBone doesn't have the appetite, you can throw some of that carrot cake my way. Get better soon, TBone! Peggy

Berisa, Just like all the others, I too am very, very sorry for all you are having to go through. I can feel your pain because, not only is my husband fighting cancer, but my own dear, sweet 76-yr-old dad is fighting for his life on a ventilator right now with severe COPD, and I lost my mother 5 yrs. ago to lung cancer. It can all just be so overwhelming and, so very, very painful. I don't know how old you are, you look pretty young in your picture. I sometimes think the younger you are, the harder it is sometimes to understand and to cope. I've only recently joined this forum, but I've lurked enough to know that there are many here who can truly feel what you feel. I've always said that if it moves, I'll hug it - so consider yourself hugged. God be with you! Peggy

Melinda, My husband had whole brain radiation (2 weeks) plus Novalis (pinpoint radiation) and he is fine. I was a little scared for a while after the treatments because he was kind of slow to respond and didn't seem to quite "get it" sometimes, but this passed after a few weeks. He did lose all of his hair before the whole brain radiation was even finished, but most of it has grown back now (not that he had that much to start with . Before he had it done, I had read that it can cause some damage like you describe, however, the radiation onc, who we really trusted, said that if that happens (which is pretty rare), it's usually several years down the road. Without the WBR, and with 8 metastic tumors in his brain, he for sure wouldn't even be here "several years" down the road. I said: "Zap him!" Peggy

Yvonne, My heart is breaking for you. I can't even let my mind think about losing my husband of 36 yrs. without nearly falling apart. I can't even imagine the grief you must feel and I am just so, so sorry. I pray that God will be with you and provide you with the comfort you need at this sad, sad time. Peggy

Phew! Glad to finally know who NED is Thanks to everyone for the warm welcome. He actually said "don't use MY name", so since there is already a Sandy, I'm going to go ahead and use my real name, which is Peggy. Everybody have a good night. Peggy

I don't know where that smiley face came from on the Rom. 8:28. Somehow the second 8 turned into a smiley face.

Hello, I’ve been lurking for a couple of weeks and thought it was time to just jump in and say hello. My husband is a VERY private person, about his life and his illness, so I also didn’t want to join until he knew I was doing it. He said he didn’t care, but he doesn’t want me use our real names (for now anyway). A diary of his illness is below. At this point, he is coping very well and so am I. The first 2 wks were tough, tears for me and anger for him, but after it soaked in and we quit crying and shouting, we were running the race to win The only way we found this disease was because he was having a continual severe headache. His family doc sent him to an ENT to check his sinuses (he’s always had sinus problems). The ENT wanted him to have surgery for a deviated septum (that’s a crooked nose bone ) – I won’t repeat what he told that ENT. He then asked our family doc to order and MRI of his head – and that’s when it all started. As you can see below, they found 8 brain metastatic tumors (“critters in my head” is what he calls them) and went hunting for the primary tumor which was found in his left lung. The headache immediately went away after 24 hrs on Decadron and he felt great. He was the most healthy and physically strong man I know – he was in better shape than our 27-yr-old son. Almost never, never sick. In 36 yrs., he’s probably missed less than 10 days work. After 3 weeks on Taxotere, I thought the chemo was going to kill him instead of the cancer. The onc said because of his great health they really hit him hard w/chemo & rad at same time to try to knock this dead, but chemo (especially Taxotere – which he had severe allergic reaction on 3rd dose) and radiation at the same time was just too much and it wiped him out for two months. He was down in bed with a fever and fatigue almost 24/7. He did recover from that and is doing much better now. He’s on a 3-month treatment break right now (2 mos. left) and we are really enjoying spring. I thoroughly enjoy all of your posts and am most impressed with your positive “can-do” attitudes. You are a great inspiration. My faith in God and His Son keep that horrible thing called “fear” from taking over (it still gets in occasionally, but it never takes over), and for me, the words “All things work together for good for those who love God . . .” (Rom. 8:28 ) have got to be the most comforting words ever written. It doesn’t say that all of our loved ones will be healed but, to me, it does say “Don’t worry – be happy!!!” Love to all, P.S. I do have one complaint about this forum – where’s the chart that tells all of us dummies what all these abbreviations mean? I finally figured out PCI and BAC (but it took a week), and I already new NSCLC, SCLC, WBR, WBRT, COPD, rad, and some others, but I recently saw NED, and you got me on that one. I guess tx is treatment?? dx is diagnosed?? (If that’s so, I sure can’t figure out where you got the “x” from). I thought NED might be NEwly Diagnosed, but that didn’t make sense since everybody was celebrating this thing called NED. I even tried Never Ever Die, but that didn’t work either.