Larry

It is to bad that some doctor's can be to blunt.My Wife's Onocologist was very good at communication's and he never came right out and told her it was uncurable but alway's told her that they would fight this battle together and he would take care of her.And all the Nurses were very professional in not giving false hope or negative outlook's.But Doctor's and Nurses are Human and some believe in laying it out on the line where other's can not for what ever there reason. So it look's to me like you have a no nonsense tell it the way he see's it Doctor and a Nurse who does not have the heart to be factual.

Good one...

Never did worth a hoot on the lottery but not to bad on Scratch Ticket's as i won a Hundred dollar's a few time's.......

Kinsley Kansas

Subject: Fw: Blonde Jokes What Else... funny........ Two blondes with hammers, Carol and Donna, were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail, and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?" Carol explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end, and I throw them away." Donna got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!" ********* Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie? They had gone to see "Closed for the winter." ******** A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied. "What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?" "No, Silly, " the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and then I thought, I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants. I'm not shooting myself in the chest." "So then?" asked the doctor. "Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, "I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth straightened. I'm not shooting myself in the mouth." "So then?" "Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: "This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger. ********* A blonde was driving home after a game, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees, and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her blonde roommate saw her, and asked, "What are you doing?" The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first." ******** A blonde was shopping at Target, and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk t o ask what it was. The clerk said, "Why, that's a thermos..... it keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." "Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk. "What's that? " he asked. "Why, that's a thermos..... it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied. Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?" The blond replied..... ..."Two popsicles and some coffee." ********* AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, "Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax and rest." "Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it, and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass, and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office, and sees the blonde crying hysterically. "What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?" he asks. "No!" exclaims the blonde. "I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!"

There's been a couple of thing's i bought but in general i find them annoying....

(The Colorectal Surgeon's Sing-a-long) ********************************** We praise the colorectal surgeon Misunderstood and much maligned Slaving away in the heart of darkness Working where the sun don't shine Respect the colorectal surgeon It's a calling few would crave Lift up your hands and join us Let's all do the finger wave When it comes to spreading joy There are many techniques Some spread joy to the world And others just spread cheeks Some may think the cardiologist Is their best friend... But the colorectal surgeon knows... He'll get you in the end! Why the colorectal surgeon? It's one of those mysterious things. Is it because in that profession There are always openings? When I first met a colorectal surgeon He did not quite understand; I said, "Hey it's nice to meet you But do you mind? We don't shake hands." He sailed right through medical school Because he was a whiz Oh, but he never thought of psychology Though he read passages A doctor he wanted to be For golf he loved to play... But this is not quite what he meant... By eighteen holes a day! Praise the colorectal surgeon Misunderstood and much maligned Slaving away in the heart of darkness Working where the sun don't shine!

Subject: Mexican Jews ----- Two Jewish men, Sid and Al, were sitting in a Mexican restaurant. >>>Sid asked Al, "Are there any people of our faith born and raised in >>> Mexico ?" >>> Al replied, "I don't know, let's ask our waiter." >>> When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there any Mexican Jews?" >>> The waiter said, "I don't know Senor, I'll ask the cooks." He returned >>> from >>>the kitchen in a few minutes and said "No sir, no Mexican Jews." >>> Al wasn't really satisfied with that and asked, "Are you absolutely >>> sure?" >>> The waiter, realizing he was dealing with "Gringos" gave the expected >>> answer, >>>"I will check again, Senor!", and went back into the kitchen. >>> While the waiter was away, Sid said, "I find it hard to believe that >>>there are no Jews in Mexico , our people are scattered everywhere." >>> The waiter returned and said "Senor, the head cook said there is no >>> Mexican >>>Jews." >>> "Are you certain?" Al asked once again. "I can't believe there are no >>>Mexican Jews!" >>> "Senor, I ask EVERYONE," replied the exasperated waiter, "All we have >>> is >>> Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews, and Grape Jews!"

Just in case you weren't feeling old enough today, just read this. Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the Faculty a sense of the mindset of this year's incoming freshman. Here is this year's list: The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1985. They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan Era and probably did not know he had ever been shot. They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged. There has been only one Pope in their lifetime. They were 8 when the Soviet Union broke apart and do not remember the Cold War. They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up. Tianamen Square means nothing to them. Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic. Atari predates them, as do vinyl albums. The statement "You sound like a broken record" means nothing to them. They have never owned a record player. They have likely never played Pac Man and have never heard of Pong. They may have never heard of an 8 track. The Compact Disc was introduced when they were 1 year old. They have always had an answering machine. Most have never seen a TV set with only 13 channels, nor have they seen a black and white TV. They have always had cable. There have always been VCRs, but they have no idea what BETA was. They cannot fathom not having a remote control. They don't know what a cloth baby diaper is, or know about the "Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up" commercial. Feeling old Yet? There's more: They were born the year that the Walkman were introduced by Sony. Roller skating has always meant inline for them. Michael Jackson has always been white. Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show. They have no idea when or why Jordache jeans were cool. Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave. They have never seen Larry Bird play. The Vietnam War is as ancient history to them as WW I, WW II and the Civil War. They have no idea that Americans were ever held hostage in Iran. They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are. They don't know who Mork was or where he was from. (The correct answer, by the way, is Ork) They never took a swim and thought about Jaws. They never heard: "Where's the beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel," or "De plane, de plane!" They do not care who shot J.R. and have no idea who J.R. was. Kansas, Chicago, Boston, America, and Alabama are bands, not places. There has always been MTV. They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter. So, just how old do you feel now!

Do you all remember >Maverick< and Rawhide with a very young Clint Eastwood playing Rowdy Yates..

That was absolutely right on.... People who come up with this stuff have entirely to much time on there hand's.........

Not that i remember...

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up in Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. "I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house." "Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing. About nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of the attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend. He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up North?" "Yes, I do." "Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?" "Yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out. "I have to admit that I did." And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?" Bob's face turned red and he said, "Yeah, sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?" "She just died and left me everything." (And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?) Now keep that smile for the rest of the day!

Now that was indeed funny...

Not at all fast food places,but do give the girl's or boy's the change when at sonic or A&W.....

The outer Limit's..... twilight Zone....

......PERFECT........

Perry Mason- Ironside-Now i really show my age...Queen for a Day....

A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of un-met needs she had endured over the course of their marriage. Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week . Can you do this?" The husband thought for a moment and replied,.. "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."

Kit Carson----Hopalong cassidy

I sure thought you were her brother,tnx for the clueing us in......Larry

Absolutely wonderful.What wonderful proof of GOD's Fatherly love for us.....

Funnnnnnnny" Wonder if it would work for me.....