Jay

Wow... my birthday is also on February, but I turned 19. I also finished chemo in July. No hair loss either, but I was tired all the time (still am ) Anyway, just wanted to reply to that, I'll e-mail you again now

Hello everyone, I thought I would just let you guys know where I've been... sort of. We still don't move to Canada, seems like that has to wait. I've been having terrible head aches and I will be seeing the doctor tomorrow for that. Other than that, I'm OK. I kinda have a girlfriend now, well, I'm just seeing her and stuff Anyway... the reason why I haven't been posting much is cause I think there are so many things going on in your lives, you don't need a 19 year old complaining. I've been here, I read and every so often I comment., but I rather be an observer for now, I don't think my problems are so important. You guys have more important things to worry about. Well, just wanted to say that and, I'm around here all the time, even when I don't post. Love ya'll!

My Connie!!!! *hugs* So good to have you back How are you?

My dear friend Dave, Fay is right, you ARE a true Lung Cancer Warrior! Hope you are feeling better

Sweet Connie, I hope you have a fast recovery. You are one of my very best and dearest friends. I love you very much. I'm always thinking of you. *BIG HUGS AND KISSES* Jay

Cathy, I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry.

Thank you SO MUCH everyone for your messages here and your e-mails (Norme, Anaïs, etc) I'm sorry I acted like I did the last time. I appreciate all your suport. I'm doing "OK" you could say. I am done with chemo for now. I feel so tired though. That is normal, right? Can anyone tell me? I feel so tired all the time, I have no energy at all. I've been sleeping a lot.

Thank you so much Sophia. I've been doing... nothing at all. Just inside my house, watching TV, reading... even though I find it very very hard to concentrate on my reading. I've been very depressed. This Monday is my last chemo treatment (for now). I don't know what is next. I'm not looking forward to it at all. The last one made me sicker than the first two together. Anyways, there isn't much to say as I've been just inside my room for the last weeks. My friend's graduation is next week and I really don't want to go even though they want me to. I was supposed to graduate from high school aswell, but I had to drop out. My leg is better, I did go to the doctor and I still have to wear this thing for one more week. Then I hope I can go out and play soccer again. I also have my first therapy this coming Tuesday, with a woman. I hope it works out, I really need it. I'm very confused at the moment, with my health, with my thoughts, my sexuality (It was me who I told you guys about, I hope you don't reject me cause of it) and with life itself. I need someone to help me through this, so I hope she does.

I'm glad you've been OK. But where was God when my mum died and when I was diagnosed with Cancer? Where has God been in this terrible time for Shelly and her mother? Where was God when all of us and our loved ones were diagnosed with Cancer? There is good and evil in this world, all because of the humanity, and that's all there is. Humanity, nothing divine. I'm sorry, I just wanted to add that, but we are not here to disscus religion, each one choses what to believe or what not to believe. We are here to support Shelly and her mum in this rough time

I'm sorry for worring you, Tony, Tina, Fay and Connie. I'm alright, just very depressed at the moment.

Shelly, I am so sorry! I agree with you, God doesn't exist. I made my mind up about it a while ago. I don't want to offend anyone, my dad already thinks bad of me for saying this, I just know God doesn't exist and we are on this planet to handle this on our own. That's why, I know I'm not much help, but if you ever want to talk to anyone, I'm here, Shelly. jayentrole@hotmail.com E-mail me anytime. I'm very sorry that your mum has to go through this. I'm sorry that you have to go through this. I wish I could make things better.

You have my prayers, Shelly. She will be allright. ((((Shelly)))))

I'm also your fan!!! Really, I admire you! I'm 19 and I don't even play soccer anymore You are my inspiration! As soon as this leg heals, I'm going back to the court! (((David)))

Well, I've never smoked but I know it's hard to quit My grandfather was smoker, he never quit. My grandmother was a smoker and she did quit, just like that. One day she just stopped, and my grandfather would go out to smoke and even though he smoked a lot, my grandmother never smoked again. That right there shows me that is possible to quit when you are a smoker. She still craved it, but she said she didn't want to mess up her lungs, or other vital organs

That's great news, Shelly!!!! The PET Scans will come clean, you will see

Hi guys! I'm much much better now Came out of this one quickly. I feel much better, just have a stuffed nose and a lot of sneezing But I feel better, the fever is gone and it was easier to get out of bed this morning. Thanks for your concern. I'm drinking a lot of water

I have a cold. I got my 2nd round of chemo on Monday and boy, it was worst than the first time. Mostly cause I cought this bad cold. I already went to the doctor and he sent me medication but I still feel bad. All I want to do is sleep, that's why I've been away this week... so, I just wanted to let you know that. The good thing is my 3rd treatment will have to wait till I'm better. My dad has decided we will move. Him and my sister will go to Canada as soon as I get better to start looking at some schools... and I guess, to set all up. So will be on my own for a week or so. I don't really want to be alone, but I know he has to do that. I still have one year left of high school, I wish I could finish school here, but I won't do it, I don't want to study at the moment as you guys know. I'm going to bed now, I have a fever and my eyes burn I might give the doctor another call. Later guys!

Hi Sandy. Thank you

Hi everyone. I'm doing better, nauseas almost gone. Zofran helped a lot. Thanks for your concern guys *HUGS* I feel better now... physically. Emotionally, I don't think I could be worst. I hate this! If anyone is online and would like to talk, please send me a message. I'm on MSN: jayentrole@hotmail.com I'm at a moment where I don't think things will ever get better. Sorry to bother you all with this. I don't want to complain so much but, I can't help it. I'm sorry

Ugh, I don't feel too well I've felt nauseous since I got up this morning. I went to the doctor to have my leg checked. I still have to wear this thing for another couple of weeks. I'm going to crawl back in bed. I hope I feel better by tonight so I can get on the chat.

Mike's in Heaven now. My mum is up there too and I know aswell that I will see her again. I really admire you, Shannon. Honestly, I do. Hugs for you, dear Mrs. Mike.

I love SpongeBob, I actually sit to watch it all the time Love the picture, Rick!

Thanks again for all your comments, like always, you guys are very encouraging, each and every one of you. Linda, I'm IIB NSCLC, had Lobectomy done on March and now I'm starting with chemo. Yesterday was the first one and I have 3 treatments left... for now. I have many questions to make them on Monday. The visualization is good. Last night I fell asleep thinking of the Cancer cells being destroyed. It's a good thing to think of I feel OK so far, hopefully I'll keep that way. And I'm drinking lots of water like you guys told me I should As for my sister... she is 10 years old, soon to be 11. She's so young and she's having such a hard time too. We spend more time together now, but most of the time she is with my dad. She's closer to my dad, I was closer to my mum. To everyone who commented about my dad, I understand what you say. I know he's trying to cope with things. I know he won't be able to fill my mum's role and it's too much to handle at the moment for both of us, I just wish we could try coping with it together. I'll have a talk with him tonight when he gets home, I feel I need him a lot right and it would be nice if he could try to not isolate so much, even though I'm willing to give him time, I mean... I can't cope with it myself. I'm so depressed all the time, I'm not on antidepressants. My doctor told me he will put me on something, but as I really don't think I'll be going back to that therapist, I'll have to wait and see what my new therapist puts me on. That's something else I want to talk to my dad about. I don't want to go to that therapist again. Thanks for all the compliments too, you make be blush. Ladies man? Keanu Reeves? Wow! I wish the girls over here thought the same way David P and Sam, I feel really flattered by your words. Angela, sorry to hear about your sister I was 18 when I was diagnosed too. Now I'm 19, still a teenager but not a kid... I guess. When you are this age, you never imagine something like this will happen to you. Cancer doesn't know of age or race or sex... but when you are young, you feel like nothing can harm you, and here I am, going through things I never thought would happen to me, and not only the Cancer, but losing my mum, my best friend in the entire world. After all, I did have to leave school. I had one year left of high school and I had to drop out. If I couldn't concentrate before, I know I certainly won't be able to study now. I will finish school, but not yet. I don't even read my off-school books anymore, and I loved reading. Tina, Tony and all my friends will be graduating from high school this summer. They want me to go, but I will feel so bad about myself. I can't play football yet because my leg is still not well enough, and my shoulder has been bothering me lately aswell. So I sit in my bedroom and stare at the street through my window, and I feel so bad about myself, and I miss my mum so much-- sometimes I don't think I can handle it anymore. But then, the same memory of my mommy gives me strength and I believe that's what makes me get out of bed everymorning. Andrée (my sister) has always been a quiet girl, my dad is distant and my friends busy with their graduation. Sometimes I wish I had a girlfriend, but sometimes I'm glad I don't... she wouldn't deserve to have such a selfish boyfriend. Even though it's ironic, cause this is a Cancer forum, my escape to all of that is in this place. All the people I've met here are great and have gone through terrible things in their lifes too... and really know how to give advice and make me feel special, so thank you all for that Agh! I've been talking too much, I hope I didn't bore you guys I will go now, dad's home. I'll talk to him now.

That is great news!

Well, I had chemo for the first time today. I met some really nice people there, of course they thought I'm too young to go through this, but there is no age for it really. Anyway, I'm very nervous now that I had it, cause I don't know how I'll start feeling... I mean, they've told me a lot of bad things about chemo So I'm not sure what to think. I'll follow your advices though. I'm just scared cause I'm already below my weight and I'm anemic. Well, lets see how it turns out. Emotionally, I'm very depressed ... and I don't feel comfortable with the therapist I'm seeing right now. I don't feel like telling him things. I would probably be more comfortable with a woman, but I told him so and he said we would try another couple of sessions before sending me to someone else, but... I don't want to go another couple of sessions! I don't want to sound like a crybaby, but that is how I feel. I'm just not comfortable. And of course *sigh* I miss my mum, and I know I'll always miss her. The thing is, my dad seems so distant to me lately, shouldn't it be the opposite? *sigh* I don't know. I don't even know how I feel.