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I need help - off topic

Amy P

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All of you seasoned mothers or fathers - I am in desparate need of advice.

I am at my wits end with my 6 yr old daughter - various things have happened over the past couple of weeks but this afternoon at school she dropped her pants and showed her stuff :oops:.

What do you do? Do you punish, talk to her and explain I want her to understand but not sure I am doing it effectively - any suggestions??? I have got to find the magic bullet that gets through to her.....

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Dear Amy,

You DO know your going to hear all kinds of things on this topic, don't you? Well, I can't resist. Obviously she felt she has something worth sharing for show and tell?! :P:P:oops:

My suggestion would be have a little chat with her, and ask her why she did that? But, I wouldn't say it in a firm voice, because you want to get an answer, so putting her on the defense wouldn't be a good way to start this out. ( I would THINK?) :? This is going to have to be given some serious thought my dear.

Kids not only SAY the darnest things, they DO them too!! :roll::wink:

Good luck my dear. Kids are GREAT!

Love & Hugs,


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Amy, I haven't much of a clue how to handle this one either. I try to make sure Katie is not embarrassed by her body, and I like her to have a lot of independence. Kids will do things that would be ridiculously embarrassing if we did them. But they are kids and they will do these things and the last thing we should do is allow ourselves to be embarrassed for them. I would say very calmly something along the lines of, "When we are big girls, we only take our pants off at home or in a bathroom to use the potty." Of course, if your daughter is like mine, she will then have three or four examples of when we take our pants off at other times - when we are trying on clothes at the store or whatever. Agree to those exceptions so that she feels like she has contributed to when she can take off her pants, and hope that the list you made together will stick with her.

Good luck and don't worry.


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Oh Amy.........can we talk? My youngest daughter is a little stinker. When she was younger, she did sooooo much. One thing I can say is this too shall pass.

At age 6, I think my daughter was realizing that what she had and what boys had was different. I think she was really aware of her body. Like Curtis said, she shouldn't feel ashamed of her body, yet she can't go around showing her stuff either.

I think if you calmly talk to her and let her know, as Curtis said, that their are appropriate times to drop your pants. (school not being one of them) I think this is one of those things that if you make a big production of it, it might make things worse.

Also, maybe with all of the talk of sickness, etc., she decided to find a way to get a bit of attention. Not saying that you aren't giving her attention, but maybe she wants to be front and center.

Hang in there Mom, my daughter has been a good bit better since she turned eight. Maybe that's the magic number.........maybe......crossing my fingers........

Good luck, hon. I know what it's like.............


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...and Amy, just hope she outgrows it before high school! :shock:

I have no advice, having not been in that situation myself. Er, maybe I do - I had a boy. I've noticed others that are mentioning stories of the same ilk have girls.... My advice would be to take her to Switzerland and changed into a boy...but that may not work, being born a girl, if she was suddenly a boy, she'd be "showing her stuff"!

Guess she gets left a girl - and good luck, Amy!

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I'm not laughing...honest....not laughing at all. Now I have the Jillinator who will be 6 in a few weeks. If she did this, I would be on her big brother like white on rice. Why? Because somehow he would have been behind it. He would have mooned her or given her the idea. She wouldn't have just come up with it on her own....there would have been encouragment. So, that said...got any idea how she got the idea?

Now in behavioral psychology they would say figure out what she is getting out of the behavior. Attention? Pissing the teacher off? Getting out of school? Who knows.

Yesterday I got a call from the school too. Jillian took out the whole kindergarten kitchen and the toy microwave landed on her head. They were calling to say she was coming home bruised... :roll: Hang in there Amy.

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Thank you all for the words of wisdom - we had a small discussion about it last night and (thanks curtis) decided when it was OK to take our pants off but school was not one of those places. At first she tried to say she had an itch and she was just scratching but then admitted that she did it because it would make her friends laugh :oops:

Admittedly, I did finally laugh about when I went to bed last night - she has such a cute bottom - it is worth sharing :D and she does love to share it at home - I'm just hoping she doesn't have stripper aspirations :)

This child will be the end of me but oh how I love her!

Thanks again for your input!!!!!

Much Love,


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Well Amy,

I had to look this one up to see how it turned out.....

It sounds as if you are squared away.. so I will share this little story that popped into my head from years ago.

The little boys were showing their stuff with each other and included a little girl in on it.

Oh yeah? Well I got one of these!

Well I got one of those too! See?

So do I ....look at mine!

And then the little girl realizing that she doesn't have one of those, decides that she has something better...

"Oh yeah! Well I've got one of these and with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!!!"

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There are some really good suggestions here. Most four year olds have already developed gender identity by the time there in the first grade. I had this very same problem with a boy age 6. He needed to potty, so down his paints went. He also wanted attention. Talk to your child about appropriate and inappropriate behavior. Let her generate the correct responses, so it will be more meaniful to them. Then check for their understanding. If you ask why? Most kids don't really know why they did what they did. Impulsive children could be an indication of Attention Defict Hyperactive Disorder. I am not making a diagnosis without a face to face visit- Has she exhibited any sexual acting out? PM me if so, and well explore some other issues.


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