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appleton

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I am in the process of going from Wellbutrin to Lexapro. Does anyone else here take it? Does it help you?

If I`m not boo-hooing, I`m as mean as a snake. Seems that I can`t control me any more..........and I feel guilty about it because I am w/Ned and I should be happy.

Have you been there, done that ? If so.................HELP :cry:

Karen

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Hi Karen.

First. Glad that you are well. Guilty? I think I am coming down with some kind of survivor guilt myself. Never had that feeling before....

I was on Wellbutrin for several years off and on...mostly on. I am now on Lexapro and for me, it gets me by better than any other medication for depression that I have tried. I am not saying that I am not depressed, because I certainly am. However, when I started the Lexapro I noticed a huge difference in decreaing of my ruminating thinking...obsessiveness, whatever you want to call it. Also, I noticed that my anxiety level went down...not away, but down.

I had an upset tummy with it in the beginning. Nasty, instense waves of nausea that were short-lived. Also, if I remember right, I had headaches. I may have side effects with it now too, but if I do, I don't know what they are.

This medication has helped me a great deal and keeps the dark blues from creeping in and taking over.

Best of luck with this drug.

Cindi o'h

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Karen -

I took Lexapro when I was first dx. It didn't work for me...made me very dizzy and very tired. I have been on several anti-depressants years ago: zoloft, wellbutrin, and something else I can't remember. They are all in the same group of anti-depressants. Now I take something different, Lamictal, I've been taking it for 3weeks and have not noticed any changes yet. Hoping it kicks in soon, I would really like to feel a little better!

Good luck, I hope it helps you! We all deserve to smile! :D

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Hi Karen

I see to be dealing with the same thing with mom right now. Ever since she found out NED she has been horribly depressed. We saw her rad doc yesterday(no reason really, just mom liked her and we are still trying to figure out the pain). She changed mom from Paxil to Remeron, said this would help her sleep at night, increase her appitite and hopefully work well with the depression. She also said some things that made sense about cancer,Ned, etc. Like you are thrown into cancer so quickly your life changes, you go thru the treatment, it works, then you are kinda dismissed by all the docs cept on a 3 month basis. Whats a person to do? Mom had her job, but now since she has been forced into retirement, she has to pretty much find a new life and things to do and keep her busy. You can't just jump back into life as quickly as you jumped out of life when the cancer was found. This all kinda made sense to me and fit mom, dont know what your situation is, but hopefully ive given you some insight.

You are on the right track though since you have already spoke to the dr about it, and changed up the meds. Give them 2 weeks or so to work, maybe longer. You are in my thought and prayers and I hope you find happiness soon.

Kim

Ps. I think that maybe we will have to accept a new "normal" as i dont think after cancer a person can ever go back, as they have been thru so much mentally and physically.

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Karen,

I'm still on Band-Aid therapy. I have taken Zoloft and Wellbutrin in the past but am currently just using Xanax as needed. I would suggest that along with the 'better living through chemistry' model you line up some one-on-one counseling. I'm not on any medication, but I now see my counselor almost weekly for two-hour appointments. My insurance company recommended this because of ALL the stress in my life right now, not just the cancer.

I know that early on in diagnosis, I was taken the Xanax almost daily. I didn't really fall into Depression because I wasn't allowed to mope and sit on my pity pot - my mother and husband would not let me, I got rudely tossed out of bed and into the shower whether I wanted to get up or not. No pulling the covers over my head and shutting out the world. I found out later that my surgeon told my husband to make sure I was up and out of bed every morning as the blues can set it very, very deep and be hard to shake.

Now I only take the Xanax when the monsters under the bed get restless. I haven't heard from them in a while, but I know they're still there, waiting to ambush me when I least expect them.

I know that Xanax can be taken with other anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medications for the "break-through" panic/anxiety attacks. Maybe you could discuss that with your doctor, as well.

My next question would be if you are sleeping well. Lack of sleep makes me less than easy to live with... If you aren't sleeping, you may need some other medication for that.

My "Monster Cocktail" is an Ambien and a Xanax. Shuts the monsters up and puts my brain to sleep...

...and then there's the talking to my therapist. It helps to have a professional's point of view and know that you really AREN'T crazy and that you really ARE dealing with one helluva lot of stuff and the fact that you are even FUNCTIONING is a miracle in itself.

So, Karen, breathe...breathe deeply, breathe often, and seek other avenues to help ease the anger, resentment, sadness, etc.

Take care,

Becky

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I guess I didn't realize how many others are going through this. Sometimes you feel like you're the only one. I've been going through horrible depression and I just can't seem to shake it at all! They put me on zoloft right after diagnosis, hated it. Then I tired celexa, it was okay but I gained weight, then they tried wellubutrin, that was horrible for me. So then I went back to celexa. I've been off of it almost a year now (stopped due to weight gain) but I'm more depressed now than I've ever been. It's kinda strange but when I was having treatment/surgery it was almost easier in a strange way... at least I was doing something now it's just like this waiting and waiting... it's so terribly frightening. It's been over 2 years now and I'm more nervous now then I was before. Plus there is just this weird sadness that just hangs on me no matter what I do. My HMO will not co-pay for counseling so I'm out of luck on that... but at lest I know that I'm not alone. But it does seem like it's more of a woman thing? Do you think some of it could also be the holidays? There is just so much to do and so much pressure. A friend of mine and I were talking yesterday and she said last year that her 10 year old looked at her after opening his gifts and eating lunch and said "is that it?" is this ALL we are going to do??? she said she just got up and went downstairs to the basement and watched TV. She said her husband came down and asked her what was wrong... she said it was the remarks her son made her husband , on the other hand, didn't think anything about the remarks. She said, "I'm the one who bakes the cookies, buys the gifts, wraps the gifts, decorates the house, put up the tree, hosts the party etc. He's saying I didn't do a good job! When she spoke to me she was so upset.. she said she didn't raise him to be so selfish and so critical. She was worrying about what to do this x-mas. There is just so much pressure out there... and when you're sick, going through treatment and wondering what lies ahead it sure does get scary. I'm comforted to know that it's not just me and I hope that all of you find something that helps.

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Can I jus weigh in here to say its also a guy thing....Ive been prone to depression most of my life, since military service. (What could be more depressing than that..?) Now, after this crazy year of diagnosis, surgery, chemo attempts, ....There suddenly is nothing more to be done...watch and wait, screen for recurrence...knock on wood. Its like weve lost all those reassuring words and procedures that we hope are saving us...back on our own now, cept for occassional screenings. I had to admit I was greatly relieved when I went to emergency room trips lately, due to bad reaction to steroids. Being back among nurses, docs, who cared, reassured, listened and treated me. I think we come to miss that, after the intensity of hospitalization, etc....anxiety and depression seem to be the manifestation of this...? Living alone, I also feel a new and intense loneliness....wishing I had family for company. Quite a change for someone whos always been a loner all his life.

Anyways; the bad reaction to steroids was treated with Lorazepam, for the anxiety and insomnia. And the anti-depressant Nortriptyline also helps with sleep. Not sure how much its knocking down depression...I spose I could be pretty down if I wasnt taking it.

When all has been done to remove/fight the cancer, and no further involvement is found....its a little scary, helpless feeling, ....its all back on me now, ...whether I stay NED, or develope reccurrence....before any thing can be done to fight it again....its a very uncertain, nervous place to be in, I think....tho it may be the best place we can hope for.

So, I think its just natural that we have anxiety/depression, etc....we are very worried about out health and futures....and were on our own again....

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hi,

i would that neither you nor anyone here have any thought we are guilty or depressed. i've been running with cancer for many years and have noticed my mind assuming different guises. for example, there have arisen feelings that i have been lucky which is somehow unfair to others and, at times, i note a feeling of dread that i will always have and feel cancer's sword suspended tenuously above me.

while i haven't taken the drugs you mention for any period of time (i did take wellbutron for a few days once and it made me quite agitated), i have been concerned to watch my mind and find ways to transform my mind when i start to go off--off to anger, to self-pity, to jealousy, there are lots of trips i can set out on.

for me it is so important to be aware of where my mind is going when it first starts out. once down the highway a little, i find it quite difficult to rein it back in. so i try to notice when a feeling first arises, and i try to find the source of that feeling and then to explore and try to comprehend that source. it invariably turns out that... well, i think i would best leave that to you to discover as your own truth.

i like the story of the little old lady from pennsylvania riding in the coach. she was wearing one of those veils with the dots on them that reach below the nose, if you know them.

as she was riding along as a passenger within the stage, the driver was shot, and the horses took off running out of control toward a nearby cliff the reins dragging behind them. the lady looked out the window and smiled gently as she saw what was occurring. she did not panic, speak or scream. she did not try to climb to the driver's box for she was to old be able to do so successfully. she was simply aware and observed.

it might be thought that the coach is our body, the driver our mind, the reins our will, and the horses our emotions. our mind has been shot and our emotions are running out of control!

and we--we are awareness within the coach of our body observing events and characterizing them as we pass through them.

i know that when i am able to begin to think like in this way my mind calms and a certain peace sometimes opens. on occasion even physical pain seems to lessen.

obviously, we all have our own circumstance and, since i believe mark twain who noted we are all racing under sealed circumstances, there is doubtless no answer, or perhaps even any approach` to questions of this kind which is right for everyone.

but that is why they have forums such as this to allow the discussion of what works for some and what might work for others.

my best to you.

ken

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I took Xanax regularly when I was first diagnosed, and then took tranxene and effexor for about the first 6-8 months after surgery. Gradually I weaned off of all of it, and now don't take anything.

I would go back to the xanax and the anti-depressants in a minute if I thought I needed them. Life is too short to be depressed if medication can help. I also saw a counsellor regularly for the first year. That helped more than anything, I think.

Good luck.

Cindy

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I took Xanax regularly when I was first diagnosed, and then took tranxene and effexor for about the first 6-8 months after surgery. Gradually I weaned off of all of it, and now don't take anything.

I would go back to the xanax and the anti-depressants in a minute if I thought I needed them. Life is too short to be depressed if medication can help. I also saw a counsellor regularly for the first year. That helped more than anything, I think.

Good luck.

Cindy

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