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Can I share something? ..and an update


randired

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First, my sons birthday is on friday and I made this little video for him. Its the whole first year and I really would like to share it. So feel free to take a look. you will need quicktime 6 if you dont have it on your computer yet. its free and doesnt do anything to the computer.

http://www.joryseth.com/

Second, an update on my mom.

She is not doing well at all. She has been doing her chemo treatments since her gamma knife surgery in december. She has has 4 out of 6 treatments. Each time she would get worse and worse. Weak, dizzy, headache, loss of appitite etc. She eventually got to the point where she couldnt walk at all (even with lots of help) and the pain was too great (in her head). She went to the ER last week and has been there ever since.

After tests, MRI's, CAT scans and more x-rays, they have found that her tumors were not effected by the treatments (gamma knife, radiation, chemo etc.) She now has a new tumor that is fairly large for not being there 2 months ago and it is deep inside the brain.

It has been determined that there is nothing that the doctors can do to help treat her disease. All of her doctors and the social worker in the hospital tried to talk to her about Hospice, but she wont hear a word of it. She did agree to go to a part of a nursing home that deals with recovery (i forget what its called). I have been told that she would be more comfortable in a hospice setting, but that will take some time to get mom to even talk about it.

I am scared and lost. I dont know what to do or how to help. i try to be there for her but she doesnt want to talk. I am anxious for her to be out of the hospital so i can bring my son to see her. She lights up when he is near her, so i know it will make her feel (somewhat) better.

Thanks for your thoughts.

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Randi,

I wasn't able to view the movie...silly firewalls on my computer here at work. :roll: I'll give it a try when I get home later and I'm sure it will be great.

I'm so sorry to hear that your mother isn't doing better. I hope that there are others that have some experience with how to help you deal with this situation and how to help your mother cope better.

I'll be thinking of you!

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Randi

I am so sorry to hear about you Mom. This has to be so hard for you. I do hope though that someone can help you Mom see that Hospice is a really good place to be in her situation. Since she is having so much pain, hospice could deal with that where im sure the Nursing Home will not be able too. Do you have support as well? other family members etc? Pull in all the help you can to get her to listen. Hospice can be used just a short period of time if that is what is needed, its not always the last step.

I will add her to my prayers and you as well. Take care of yourself, you have to be strong for that beautiful baby. I can see why he brings joy to your Mom.

Take care

Kim

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Hi Randi,

Thanks for sharing your video with us. You did an awesome job and what a priceless gift it is. Aren't computers wonderful for helpfing us share so much of ourselves with friends and family? I just can't imagine life without all the benefits I've gotten from my computer. One of them, that is so helpful to me, is just being here with all of you. It's really something I never take for granted.

My heart goes out to you in trying to make the best decisions for your mom. I personally haven't had that experience and I can't help you , but I know there are many others here that have and hopefully they will come along, if not you could try writing to them personally. Sure hope you get the help you need. My best to you. Will keep your family in my prayers.

Sue

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I am so sorry to hear this, my heart goes out to you. There are several here who are having a hard time right now. Please forgive me if these are the wrong words - but I think you need to prepare yourself. The "recovery" portion of the hospital just could be where she will be, since she won't take hospice right now. Be gentle with her now, gather her loved ones, without alarm try to be with her as much as possible. Rub her back, rub lotion on her feet. You might want to talk with a doctor about how bad it is - arrangements might be made for her to see her grandson. I sure hope not but you must allow that it could happen. Let all the old things go, yours and hers, just be together, even in quiet.

Love, Margaret

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Randi,

I'm so sorry about your mother. I hope that you can somehow persuade her about hospice, but if not, as others have suggested, hospitals can often suspend rules and allow flexibility for visits from children. The major problem with a nursing home, which would be much more flexible, is the issue of pain control, of course. Is there anyone else who can help you talk to your mother about this?

I hope that you will at least have time to spend with her and be at peace with her at this terrible stage. You need to hold on to every minute that you can, and involve your son as well, so that your mother can have the joy and he can, at least, have your recounting of memories that he won't have.

My heart is with you,

Ellen

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Hi Randi,

I viewed your sons video, excellent job. He is adorable and such a joy to you and your hubby. You mention that your mom lights up when she sees him. How could she not.... he is adorable. Hopefully, if she stays in the hospital, they will let you bring him, so she can see him. If she goes home then she will definitely see he him again.

My heart goes out to you. I don't know much about hospice but I heard they are a G-d sent to people. Maybe you can get someone from hospice just to come in a talk to her. Then maybe she will change her mind.

We are here for you... and hope you can find the strength to get through these difficult times.

It is really nice that you made a web page for your mom, and you can write your feelings down. That is good therapy.

Stay strong....

Maryanne

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I am so so sorry to hear about this. I think your mom is like my dad. My dad did the PCI (brain radiation) and the neurosurgery, but the brain tumor(s) kept growing in just 1 month.

I would suggest you to try to ask the neurosurgeon about the possibility of doing surgery for your mom. I don't know this would be doable for your mom but at least worth a try.

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