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Staciecee

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:( It is with great sadness that I come again to this site. My name is Stacie. Some of you may remember me from February and March when my significant other was diagnosed with Small cell lung cancer in February 2003 with mets to liver and bone. Even though he fought hard, God took him home on the wings of angels on May 19th. My life was shattered when he was diagnosed and going through hell but it literally fell apart when he died. I finally felt strong enough to come back and let you know and to thank you for the prayers, the humor and encouragement.

I wish that I could personally hug each of you, to thank each and every one of you for your thoughts, prayers and virtual hugs. I want to personally use this forum to thank Mrs. Mike for her unwavering encouragement. To Dave P for his unique blend of humor that really helped me get through this and Dave, I never did get to paint his toe nails...LOL but I think you were right, he was a fuschia.

Rod was only off the vent for a few days in March, but those few days were so precious when he learned how to speak with the trach in. I will always have those special words and memories forever engraved in my heart.

If anybody can make a difference in beating this disease, it is this fine group of people who, every day of their lives, thank God for one more day, write to our "powers that be" to listen up, open up and donate more. Research and knowledge is power, listen and read it all. My best advice is to ask questions, no matter how stupid you might feel, keep asking about clinical trials, new treatments, unapproved medications and above all, never lose your sense of humor.

If more doctors across our great country and world, united in an effort to share all medical information just think how much more advanced our health care would be. I was never more frustrated than when I asked Rod's doctors about Aptosyn or Iressa and neither of them had heard a thing about it and this was a cancer reasearch institute. Even though these drugs and more are not approved, I feel that families and the cancer patient themselves should be allowed to at least give the drugs and treatments a try - there's nothing to lose and everything to gain.

We are trying to continue on in our lives and thankfully God makes each day a little easier to take on without him. I miss him like crazy and every once in a while I get a little tightness around my middle and I consider this my heavenly hug from above, just from him. A light breeze across my cheek and I am reminded of his kiss.

to all of you still surviving this, PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP! AS AWFUL AS YOU FEEL, PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS and if someone tries to paint your toenails different colors, don't be mad...take it in stride and rejoice in the laughter around you. Life really is precious and you'll never know how much you've lost until it's not there anymore.

My prayers and thoughts are with all of you. May God bless each and every one of you today and always with love, life and laughter in abundance.

Stacie

s.carstensen@insuranceamerica.net

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Staciee,

I'm so sorry to hear that Rod passed away :cry: ,please accept my sincere condolensces. Your post was beautiful and heartfelt, thankyou. I have thought of you often and prayed that things were going well for you. I remember your posts and my heartbreaks for you. I hope that you will come here anytime and let us know how you are doing.

God bless you

Laurie

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Stacie,

I am so sorry. Your post lets me know what a wonderful person you are, what a strong person you are and how greatful we are to have gotten to know you. I am SO SORRY for your loss and I wish I could do something to help you. You will be in our prayers and I hope you stay with us.

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Thank you for your words of inspiration and strength. Please accept our sincerest condolences during this most difficult time for you and your family.

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STACIE,

I CAME ON THE BOARD IN MAY SO I NEVER KNEW ABOUT YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONE. I AM SO SORRY TO HEAR OF THE LOSS. ONE IS NEVER PREPARED FOR THE END NO MATTER HOW LONG WE HAVE WITH THEM.

AM GLAD YOU CAME BACK TO LET EVERYONE KNOW HOW YOU ARE DOING. I KNOW I GET NERVOUS WHEN SOMEONE HASN'T LOGGED ON FOR A FEW DAYS EVEN IF IT IS JUST THE CAREGIVER BEING TO BUSY..

GOD BLESS.

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Stacie.

I am truely saddened by Rod's passing. No matter how hard the fight, sometimes it is just not enough. Just know Rod will always be with you, as you are already aware - I like the idea of acknowledging the tightness around your middle and the breeze on your cheek. You'll never forget him, but you will eventually move on with your life. Take care Stacie, and call if you ever want to talk.

David P.

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Dear Staciee,

Your post was beautiful and a wonderful tribute to Rod. You treasured his life and now you treasure his memories. I offer my condolences and prayers, inadequate as they may be, and thank you for your support of us fellow travelers on the cancer journey just as we offer support to you in your grief. Blessings.

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