turning in my hall pass unused and taking another one

[Remembering Dave]

I don't think we're going to make our trip. Dave is sick. he's had a low grade fever all week with earaches, sore throat, and now a real bronchial sounding cough. he went to the doc this morning and saw the nurse practitioner who gave him scripts for an antibiotic. My mother's surgery has been moved from Friday to Wednesday, which means, we would leave here tomorrow, stay in one motel, drive another hour, stay in another motel, drive another hour and a half, stay in a third motel (this one on the beach in MB) and then on Tuesday drive home for my mom's surgery on Wednesday. Even if we were both 100%, it would be alot. But take me, tired and stressed, and Dave, VERY TIRED and VERY SICK and a three year old - not looking so good. so I turn in the MB hall pass unused.

I also think I'm going to take a break from the board. I come here for support and advice when I'm not doing well. As a caregiver. But Dave's family does not like me airing my problems for the whole world to see. I wasn't aware any of them got on this board, well, BeckyCW is a board member but I haven't seen her post until someone told her about mine yesterday. I like to think I provide more support than I ask for, in fact, I think I do. Also, I think it might help others going through similar crap to share things. In fact, I've gotten PM's to that affect. But to avoid even the slightest temptation of pouring out my thoughts, stresses, problems, I just gotta stay off the board. Because all my thoughts, stresses and problems are related to family in one way or the other. I've always been one to be open about my feelings and thoughts and I think it's a healthy way to be. And this board has become somewhat of a lifeline for me. I worry about everyone. I care about everyone. There are a few of you that used to annoy me, and I have come to love you. But the next time I have an anxiety attack at work, I'm just going to go into an empty office and cry my head off.

Thanks for the help everyone has given me. I hope Dave decides to start posting again. I hope he gets out of the funky depression he's been in and comes back with his naughty sense of humor. I know everyone misses that, and to be honest with you, so do I.

God Bless,

Karen

[Connie B]

Oh Karen, it pains me to see your entire family in such pain. I understand your pain, and I understand Dave's pain, but I also understand his families pain.

You are ALL going through a VERY ROUGH time right now. And maybe, just maybe some things are really better left UNSAID???!!!

Maybe a call to your therapist is in order my dear. Being that Dave, and Dave's family are all apart of this board. It hurts me to see you all hurting.

Karen I am NOT trying to be mean to you or anyone in your family, I'm here on the outside looking in. Sweetie, some of the things your sharing may be very hurtful to David and his family. I honestly don't think that's what you want to do.

Maybe this would be a good weekend for you to do some R & R? It's worth a try. I think a break away from the board may also be what the doctor would order. You don't need to reply, sometimes just thinking things over helps. Or just NOT thinking of anything is also a good idea at times as well. There's no right or wrong.

Best wishes,

Connie

[Remembering Dave]

thanks, Connie, I needed that!

Karen

[shineladysue]

Karen,

I'm sorry you won't be able to go on your tripand I am also so sorry to hear that Dave is feeling ill. It's better to be close to home when you're sick. Maybe the fact that David hasn't felt well has something to do with his mood. Hope the antibiotic will help him. Hope all goes well with your mom also. Take care of yourself Karen and know that we are near by if you want to write. You have a lot on you now. It's understandable that you would be feeling very stressed out. You are only human. Be kind to yourself .

Love and Prayers to you and your family.

Sue

[Patkid]

Karen,

Only offering prayers and love and God's gentle Care for you and all of your family.

Love

Pat and Brian

[daggiesmom]

Hope you get the best rest - which is what you both need now. Take some time just to be alone and happy. God will help you if you just ask. I want the best for you both. Prayers for you and your family. You'll be fine.

Joanie

[stand4hope]

To Karen and Dave,

Both of you need a rest. A rest from all the stress, worries and pressures. I wish you nothing but peace, peace in your home and peace in your heart. Take as long as you need, Karen. Be well, Dave!

All my love and prayers to you both,

Peggy

[gail p-m]

We'll miss you when you take your break from the board but sometimes a break is needed. I'm also sorry your holiday was cancelled. I can't think of a family more in need of some "down" time. In the meantime, please know that my thoughts and prayers are with the Chapmans each day- whethery they are on the board or not.

Gail p-m

[Justakid]

Karen-

You know you can always email me or call me! I don't get my feather ruffled easy and will be there for you.

I missed you initial post but it sounds like you created a little excitement the other day, sorry I missed it.

You know I'm here and nothing surprises me.

[Maryanne]

You guys are going through the hardest time of your lives. It is understanable that you have to air your concerns now and then. That is actually a healthy thing to do.

But I understand about the break thing. I feel that way sometimes, just because there is so much posting that I can't get to everyone, and that frustrates me. And I am not going through 1/10 of what you guys are facing.

Tempers flair, that is natural especially since you keep things bottled up inside and certainly do not want to make your love one uncomfortable with your feelings. And at the same time, he is sick and miserable, which of course is understanable. But that hurts us mentally.. You are between a rock and a hard place. All caregivers are. We don't want to rock the boat, but hey, we are human, we have to vent. This board certainly helps. Its a shame the family does not realize that. At times, it is so much easier to vent to stangers our love ones. (family)

I also understand how you can express your inner feelings to strangers here. We give you the support you need. We do not come by your house, we just listen and try to make your life somewhat more tolerable and help with your fears when Dave is not doing well.

Also, you keep us updated on Dave's progress. How else are we suppose to know how he is coming along?

Dave's family should realize that this board is what helps you. This is your little bit of salvation. But hey, whatever. I am sorry Karen you are going through this.

You are also a wonderful person who gives back so much to us when we are going through dispair, giving us that much needed support and encouragement. And to add happy posts when there is good news. We all do that, we take and we give back. Dave's family should realize that. You are not hurting anybody, we do not persoanlly know you on the outside.

You will be missed and come back anytime. I hope we can hear from Dave, if not from you about his progress.

Also, if you need me for anything, PM or email me. I will he here for you.

Peace be with you, will miss you girl,

Maryanne