LynneH Posted July 23, 2005 Share Posted July 23, 2005 Well, I've avoided posting in the grieving section, because it's a place no one wants to belong. Not exactly the Cheers bar. Jim died March 31st and I knew he wanted to be cremated and have no service. We never talked about those plans after he was diagnosed but had talked about those things periodically throughout the years. Today, the pastoral dept. at the hospital he died at, held a memorial service to remember those that had died in their care the last 6 months. I attended and it was full. I was alone but most were represented by families. We each brought a long-stemmed flower. As a part of the service, one spokesperson for each family brought their flower to the front to place into one of 3 vases, creating vibrant, beautiful memory bouquets. You had to introduce yourself and mention any family you had attending and then mention the name of the person you were honoring. I managed to stutter my name out and said I was there to remember my husband Jim (tissue in hand the whole time!) Although I weeped like a baby the moment my rear hit the pew in the chapel, it was very touching and nice. Thought I would share it with those on this board as you truly understand what this is all about. Thanks for the ear, Lynne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Posted July 23, 2005 Share Posted July 23, 2005 Lynne, I applaud your courage. I admire your strength. May your heart continue to heal. May you find peace. ((((LYNNE)))), Kasey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Lynne, I'm glad you had the chance to attend the memorial service. When people tell their families they don't want a service, they really forget that the service is not so much for the deceased as it is for those left behind. It is a time to celebrate the life now ended, and to help those here move on. Take care. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Lynne, I got tears just reading about it. God bless you! Love, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Lynne, I am so happy that you went to the service. As Don said, the service is for the living... it is a form of closure and I think you will benefit tremendously from the experience. What strength it took for you to place that flower in the vase.... it definetely was a milestone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patkid Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Your bio at the bottom of your posts says that Jim knew he was loved. You are so right! And the love continues. You were NOT alone...........We are sure. Lots of love. Pat and Brian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunny Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 I was moved, too. thanks for coming back to tell us about it. peace to you. xoxo amie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nancy c Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Lynne, i read your post--and feel your heartache. I had an experience myself yesterday. I had to go to a wedding in the church my daughter was married in--may 14. That is when my husband walked her down the aisle. I have not been in that church since. Yesterday , there I was sitting in the middle of the church--without Mike. Not sitting in the front pew with him-as I did May 14. I never dreamed on July 23rd I would be sitting at that wedding without him--or at least without him at home. It was hard for me. But I did it. I understand your pain. God bless you, and I wish you peace and healing for your heart. Nancy C Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted July 25, 2005 Share Posted July 25, 2005 Lynne - this sounds like such a beautiful service. Your pain and deep love for Jim are so obvious through your words. I know how hard this is for you, having lost the love of my life, too! I am saying prayers that you will continue to be strong!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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