jdjenkins Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 Hi, I have been visiting this site for a couple of months now and have found it so helpful. I thought I would finally introduce myself. My Dad was dx with Stage IV NSCLC in October of '04. At the time he had one tumor in his right lung (very large) and one brain met. He has always been so healthy the news just shocked my family. We decided to go to the University of MN Cancer Center and have received very good care. Back in January we met with surgeon who agreed to operate. My Dad's oncologist didn't seem to agree with the surgeon. He thought my Dad's cancer had spread to far and surgery would delay treatment further. He would not be able to start chemo for awhile. Next is what keeps me up at night wondering if we did the right thing. I called oncologist and told him we were getting the feeling he was not in agreement with the surgeon and asked why. He said my Dad would most likely have to have whole lung removed and he felt it was a risky operation. I told him my family wanted my father to have the best care and be able to enjoy the time he had left with us. Well the next appt. the oncologist came in and told us we were going to have 7 weeks of chemo and radiation instead of surgery. He told my Dad that this treatment was just as good as surgery and we could always come back to surgery. I called the surgeon myself to ask if he agreed with this decision. He said yes, but I suppose they all stick together. Well after seven weeks of chemo and radiation the tumor only shrunk 35% and my Dad developed non-maligant fluid around his lung from all the scare tissue from radiation. He had to have a tube put in to drain fluid. His latest PET showed active tumor in right lung and one lymph node lite up. Now oncologist says no surgery. I'm just beating myself up for not pushing the surgery in January. I feel if my Dad does not make it I will always wonder if I missed his chance for a cure. What makes matters worse is that my Dad has relied on me for everything since dx. He is suffering from great depression and aniexty (long family history, but ok until got dx.). He is unable to make decision and does not want to read or learn anything about lung cancer. I have tried to get him to support groups, but he will not go. He is on Zoloft and Ativan for aniexty, but still does not enjoy any part of life. It breaks my heart to see him like this. He wants to sit around and wait for the doctor to cure him. My Dad was a wonderful husband, father, and grandfather before dx. My eight year old is always asking me when Grandpa is going to be done with Cancer so they can golf and play hockey together again. I have taken my Dad to every doctor appt., chemo treatment, and radiation appt. I'm so fortunate to be able to help him so much during this terrible time, yet I feel so helpless. I would do anything to help my Dad enjoy just one day again. He is currently taking Avastin and Alimta. This treatment has really hit him hard. He has become very weak. We have a scan next week to see if it is working. I keep praying for a miracle. He had a brain MRI this week and I'm happy to report he is part of the "empty head club". I was wondering if we should have the lymph node tested to see if it is really cancer. If not maybe we could still pursue surgery. Thanks for listening to my story. Your posts have helped me so much over the last couple of months. I will keep reading. Denise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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